Tuesday, October 28, 2014

In which an ever weirder Chairman Rupert speaks out of the side of his mouth on inequality, while the reptiles go about the business of enthusiastically supporting increased inequality ...

The pond hasn't had many rich, satisfying horse laughs since the halcyon Tamworth days ...

But this one was a doozy.

Top of the digital page ,courtesy the reptiles of the lizard Oz:

It had the pond rolling around on the floor.

It was perfect in every way. The gold bar, the EXCLUSIVE, the faithful portentous and pompous hack, Paul Kelly, transcribing the thoughts of the media robber baron  on the matter of inequality ...

The pond's immediate thought was to wonder whether the nonsense had made it to the front page of the tree killer edition of the rag.

It had, it had:

The caring billionaire!

So how does the caring billionaire propose to fix things:?

The significance of his nine-page speech is his argument about the limits to both monetary and fiscal policy and the imperative for a new approach based upon the need “for government to get out of the way”. 
Mr Murdoch called for: labour market reform; lower and more competitive corporate taxes; a crackdown on multinationals — naming Google — for not paying taxes where they make their profits; a rethink on excessive bank regulation, warning “you would have to be mad to join the board of a bank these days”; and recognition that high taxes and over-regulation were damaging economic growth and the public interest.

Yes, because lower taxes, and labour market reform stripping rights from workers will really fix that inequality thing, and as for the long suffering board members of banks... oh the charity and the pity and the kindness ...

I mean, right there, you have a keen and deep understanding of the suffering of the masses. You'd have to be mad to want to join the board of a bank these days ... there they are, dragging themselves off to work, with barely enough  cash in paw to cover the required corporate dress of sackcloth and ashes ...

Oh it's pitiful, the suffering of board members, the inequality, the unfairness, the plain injustice and wrongness of it all ...

Luckily Chairman Rupert was able, in a fair, unbiased way, able to pinpoint the precise source of the problem of unfairness that litters the universe:

The chief of News Corporation, ultimate owner of The Australian, told European and US leaders in the intimate setting of the dinner that many of their policies were a “tremendous disincentive to innovation and risk-taking”. He confronted them saying high taxes and overregulation “goes to ­extremes in many European countries and several US states”. 
He said an “easier” problem to tackle was that posed by Google in Australia. “Google harvests nearly $1 billion annually in Australia — by pirating the copyrights of local taxpayers,” Mr Murdoch said. “While I am sure they are not the only offenders, as the chairman of a company that is continuously financially wounded by that piracy, I feel quite justified in calling them out by name.”

Yes, it's piracy that causes all the unfairness. How can Foxtel shear the sheep in a seemly, tidy way if the sheep are off frolicking with pirates?

And there you have it in a nutshell. If only News Corp could gouge the punters without the likes of Google getting in the way, fairness and equality would be restored throughout the world ...

Provided of course that crazy corporate taxes were reduced, and governments could just piss off - especially that dreadful David Cameron - so that there'd be no need for any pesky, irritating regulations of the kind that led to the News of the World disaster ...

The funny thing is, the more Murdoch moves closer to the grave - the ultimate apocalypse that afflicts us all - the more he's become apocalyptic in his thinking. Take this tweet of a month ago:

Well it's as coherent as the blather faithfully transcribed by portentous Paul Kelly, but what's interesting is the schizophrenia - the reference to elites, as if Murdoch wasn't part of the billionaire elite - and then the fear, of a backlash, which takes on a paranoid Marie Antoinette hue ...

Don't target me, comrades, I'm not one of your 'leets ...

Meanwhile, it's business as usual. Alarums and fears:

Yes, because Republican wave will surely revive equality throughout the land, and if not overnight, then certainly within a week.

Meanwhile, the real work remains to be done. Sow's ear, silk purse.

Now you don't have to read Anne Summers' Tony Abbott's Team Australia entrenches inequality alone to discover the sow's ear, because she might be accused of bias.

You might just prefer to listen to the great man himself:

"in the end, we have to be a productive and competitive society and greater inequality might be inevitable". (Tony Abbott's vision of society as a market)

Yes, you know things are getting weird in the joint when even the utterly gormless Peter Hartcher could scribble Joe Hockey's budget beyond the Australian concept of fair. (forced video at end of link).

As for that inequality? 'Missing' figures show poor are hit.

And so on and so forth. Any one from Tony Abbott down agrees that his budget and his policies are designed to enhance and improve and widen inequality, and to punish the poor, just so bank board members don't have to suffer in ways that would be too hideous, disturbing and unsettling to contemplate ...

Which is why on a daily basis the reptiles at the Oz go diligently about their business,  turning that sow's ear into said silk purse.

Let's see what's on offer today:

Yes, it's a sympathetic study of the visionary Abbott, that Tenterfield saddler fresh from delivering his epic Tenterfield address right up there with Sir Henry Parkes' Tenterfield oration (you can Greg Hunt that one here, but watch out for walri that might have strayed up from Antarctica).

What's astonishing is the bald-faced way that Shanahan attempts to present Abbott's transmutation from gutter brawler to statesman:

Abbott’s own appeal is for all Australians to consider what must be done about the health, education and tax systems into the ­future and to do so maturely and not simply yell at each other. 
 “I hope that just for once it might be possible for us in this parliament, one side and the other, the national government and the state and territory governments to have a mature debate rather than a screaming match,” he said.

What? Like this?

Well bugger that for a joke. When you're dragged into the gutter, it's not so easy to get out.

But do go on:

Abbott is not announcing a proscriptive policy, a surprise plan or an emasculated tax review: he wants to start the debate as the federation and tax white papers ­develop. 
Philosophically, Abbott has ­always been keen on federal-state reforms, although he’s changed his view along the way. He’s right to put the big idea ahead of the retail politics. 
But even on the politics of the issue, Abbott may find conducting such a debate and addressing such reforms gives his government a definition and a destination that appeals.

Yes, it's just more wretched forelock tugging and apple polishing and shameless abasement at the feet of Mr. Inequality.

This sort of blather is of course a distraction from more immediate issues. Like the budget and its burden, like the 'reforms' to health and education and all the other proposals designed to punish the poor or the unemployed or the powerless ...

Even Shanahan, diligently polishing the apple, had to note the bleeding obvious:

As a Prime Minister leading a first-term government that is in disproportionate political trouble, Abbott has staked out a large claim on reforms just as Howard did in 1997 in similar circumstances with the GST proposal. 
The Abbott government’s momentum on reform through the commission of audit was checked politically by the West Australian Senate election re-run and there will be problems as Victoria, NSW and Queensland all go to the polls with incumbent Coalition governments. 
But sensible approaches from Colin Barnett and Campbell Newman yesterday suggest Abbott has time, now that he’s started the debate, to flesh out his ideas next year.

Campbell Newman? He's a dead duck walking ...

Time for a first-term government in disproportionate political trouble to flesh out its ideas, which will inevitably lead to a suggestion that GST be increased and widened?

Truly, it couldn't get any funnier, could it?

What else have the reptiles got to offer?

Well there's the Caterists trashing Whitlam:

Yes, like universal health care and free education and an end to conscription and the right to die in Vietnam for armchair generals ...

And then there's an urgent plea for the right to universities to be able to gouge all-comers:

See how it's all about "catering to needs". Just don't mention the price tag for the catering, especially if you want fish eggs with that ...

And then there's just pure, sublime, undiluted, barking mad nonsense:

Oh not the black helicopters and the world conspiracy of a one-world government again ...

So how did Newman get past the door bitches and into the party?

Why he's Tony Abbott's business advisor, and that's the sort of paranoid advice Mr. Inequality gets in his bid to run a mature debate about the future of the federation ...

Barking mad. So there's your mature debate. A screaming match about a one-world government.

And remember, this is where we came in.

The pond will now revert to the floor for another burst of hysterical laughter.

This might put the pond in the company of Clive Palmer, but the day Tony Abbott becomes a statesman, that's the day the senate joins the pond and Caligula in voting a horse's ass as emperor ...

(Below: thanks to Master Marles, and David Rowe, and more Rowe here, the pond might go sailing with as fine a ship of fools as has ever graced the ocean's waves. Aye aye, me hearties, ahoy on the poop deck of policies)


  1. Thanks for the laugh this morning Dorothy.

    The strange world of Murdoch is beyond parody.

    Rupert Murdoch the Loons Loon.

    1. Rupert is indeed a loon's loon, but so is Maurice. Who is primus inter pares? While Rupert has a greater body of loon work, I think Maurice wins on sheer quality, he is numero uno! There should be a musical, Rupert's and Maurice's Loony Tunes.

  2. "Mature" is Mr Abbott's acronym for a debate which is: Misleading, Artful, Tricky, Untruthful, Ruthless Equivocation.

    Mr Joyce, on a huge parliamentary salary, so, according to Mr Abbott and Mr Pyne, therefore not accountable for his actions to the parliament, gave a good example of how a debate can be had and then rewritten to one's own advantage.

    When I was at the dentist last there was a Murdoch publication placed on the seat to read, but I did not touch it. I view Murdoch and his fellow travellers like trolls - best not to feed them because they hate not being fed.

    I cannot believe that Mr Morrison has cancelled humanitarian programs to West African countries affected by Ebola when the issue is one of humanitarian need. It beggars belief, but no comment from the MSM on that! Further, will Mr Morrison cancel visas to and from the USA now that cases have occurred there?

  3. Cory Bernardi aligns himself with the Parliament House protesters, one of whom wore a KKK costume.

    We need The Burka Avenger! Pakistan's own female super hero who, after dealing with the Taliban has now returned to defeat the evil overload trying to destroy vaccines and holding aid workers hostage.

    She uses "Takht Kabaddi", a special martial art that incorporates books and pens, to fight crime.



  4. Hi Dorothy,

    Whenever contemplating the suffering of others, it doesn't take long before Chairman Rupert identifies the true victim of the piece, namely himself.

    Be it bureaucratic governments, broadband networks or predatory search engines, all must be dismantled so that Rupert and his modest media empire can flourish.

    His sense of victimhood has crept into the house style of all his publications and news outlets, so they all now reek of his paranoia, fear and umbrage.

    As for his sense of entitlement, you wonder what would have happened if Whitlam had indeed bowed to his demand to be High Commissioner to London. I doubt it would have sated his appetite for long though and he would have soon changed his allegiance yet again.


  5. What we are witnessing in politics is an evil by conservatives how could members of the press gallery allow Abbott and Murdoch journalists get away with their fork tongue on the GST.
    When leaders are so blatantly crooked as Abbott is it is not surprising that he has to increase the security around him because he is the reason politicians are so despised how could he say what he did in parliament yesterday and not set people into a rage and then we have Murdoch's lackeys supporting him, Paul Kelly should be remembered when he goes as a pathetic human being the way he has sold his sole to the treachery of Murdoch

  6. Is it some stray LNP. dogs howling at the moon, or is it but an echo of myself howling into cupped hands whilst on bended knees in a moment of despair?.....I do believe it is the latter, after observing the former.

  7. It is a mystery to me why some wealthy people think they are badly done by.

    They think inequality is caused when rich people like themselves pay too much tax.

    I must have it wrong. I thought rich people didn't pay enough tax these days which is part of the reason governments are crying poor and can't afford services.

    Miss Pitty Pat

    1. Miss Pitty Pat,

      Perhaps Rupert was bullied as a child - with a name like 'Rupert' in an Australian school? It's possible you know, and then when he went to London, a find young colonial lad, the British snobs put him in his place. Perhaps all his News of the World exposures of their kinky going-ons is payback for that disrespect and the poor man is suffering from a lack of self-esteem?

      Sadly, I wouldn't imagine that Rupe would be willing to undergo any therapy that would provide him with some insight into his neediness. Poor man, I don't weep for him as I am sure that he has lots of willing young masseurs to help him sleep at night now that he is divorced again and also there are drugs that can help anyone sleep. One hopes, though, that he has a better doctor than Michael Jackson had.

      The way I understand it about why the rich and the wonderful entrepreneurs shouldn't be asked to pay tax is that these people are special and they won't want to work as hard if they have to share their profits. It seems that if they have to pay tax, they will just stay home and watch tv instead of being out there creating wealth.

      Wealth, as far as I can tell is created when someone come up with another useless ugly product or device that doesn't work very well. Then jobs are just created as these products that increase our freedom and choices are marketed to us, the non entrepreneurial people, the consumers.

      But big problem is that lots of us are not up to scratch; we are gullible people who are too stupid and lazy to keep up with all the clever ways that we are lied to by the marketers and thereby make the right choices and the availability of welfare means that we stupid people are provided with too many choices that are bad for us.


  8. Rupert never dodges taxes does he?


  9. Good blogging, thank you.

  10. Maurice Newman does seem to have no real grip on reality. I mean he's mad, isn't he?

    1. Clinically mad may be hard to prove. However this Is an elderly conservative man with an atrocious comb over and an expression that indicates he hasn't had a decent bowel movement in twenty years. Combined with his barking mad statements on climate change, renewable energy and now the UN I suspect it would be difficult to differentiate if he is indeed clinically insane or just a fully paid member of the Liberal party.

    2. Surely barking mad is the correct clinical term. And if you don't like rewarding the Murdochians with a click, The Graudian provides an insight into just how mad he is


    3. Don't get Maurice started on the Protocols of the Elders of Zion!

  11. The business-as-usual case is very simple. Coal is good for humanity. Gaia-worshipping Communists are not. And that frigid witch, Christiana Figueres, is a bossy beotch.

  12. I don't mean to insult people with mental health conditions by saying Newman is mad, I understand the sensitivity around that. Maybe we need another word - for people in positions of power, like Newman, Murdoch and Tony Abbott come to think of it, who will say absolutely anything, without being bound b

  13. -this site is quite hard to comment on - anyway continuing - without being bound by any rules of logic, honesty or regard for evidence, if they think it advances their interests.

    1. There will be a proper 'diagnosis' of these sad old patriarchs in the future, and an understanding of how such absurd and ugly personalities are created through particular combinations of genes, child raising practices and the values that the wider society holds.

      Hopefully we will learn how to avoid creating such monsters of selfishness.

    2. The pond is proudly, defiantly, gloriously barking mad, and doesn't see this as in any way reflecting on people with mental disorders. But it does reflect how the pond has been driven to distraction by the Murdochians and all the other liars, cheats hypocrites and ne'er do wells who run the fixed game ...


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