Wednesday, August 20, 2014

A little afternoon delight, and all the better because it's at the expense of the Molochians ...

At last it's been explained - why the incompetent reptiles are desperate for public help to improve a brand that stinks to high heaven in the marketplace ...

Yes there it is, still on the right, still begging and pleading, despite the pond having given all the advice to hand, and more ...

Meanwhile, Paddy Manning in Crikey confirms what everyone suspected, in Exclusive docs show News' Australian papers dragging down the empire ... (paywall affected).

Now the pond won't steal all of Manning's thunder.

You'll have to read him to read just how dire the situation for The Courier-Mail has become, while that ideological feast of racist ratbaggery and zealotry, the Daily Terror, has been a singularly weak performer.

No, let's just quote Manning on the performance of the reptiles at the lizard Oz:

Within the division, The Australian stands out as the worst performer: revenues dropped 20% from $135 million to 108 million in 2012-13, while operating income fell 41% from a loss of $19 million to a loss of $27 million. After depreciation, the masthead’s operating loss fell to $30 million.

Remember when the reptiles were berating Media Watch and strutting about cock a hoop like cockerels on heat?

Without the HUN, the pack of cards would have taken even more of a beating, but what a beating it took anyway:

News reported that earnings before interest tax depreciation and amortisation from Australian newspapers fell by US $67 million in 2013-14, or $73 million — which by Crikey’s estimate represents roughly an 80% fall on the previous year, nearly wiping out the division’s entire operating income. The division dragged heavily on the news and information segment, which reported a 16% drop in EBITDA in 2013-14.

Naturally Manning couldn't resist linking to a tweet from the epic twitterer, and the pond simply can't resist running it. What with all the bonus feedback:

It seems the reptiles have even taken to talking about green shoots on the Nullabor.

Some shoots. Haters gunna hate, and fun-lovers gunna hate the haters hating ...

There you go Molochians, you can use that feedback to fix your rag, courtesy Mr Hilliger and Mr Richards ... hope it helps you improve things ...

And now for a bonus. The pond is finding it hard to keep up with all the mis-statements, retractions and confusions surrounding jolly Joe.

This was run yesterday:

Hint to reptiles - this was available for free on the site, and what do you know, it didn't even have a gold brick attached to it.

What you gunna do punks? Shut down

And sure enough a meme quickly followed.

Hint to reptiles - sorry yet?


  1. re: The Pearl.

    The euphemisms are really sweet. "Parsley garden" - presumably they didn't have Veet in those days.

  2. So, so, so much upon which to chew here.

    It was the Molochians, was it not, who brayed and moaned about ABC staff pay rates?

    If one assumes that around 1,000,000 persons per week enjoy the work of say, Tony Jones. And one assumes that around 60,000 persons per week enjoy the work of your top shelf Molochians, then should his pay be 14 times a Molochians?

    Or should a Molochian who delivers a weeny percentage of the value that a Tony Jones does, be paid accordingly? If TJ is on $350,000, a Molochian would be paid around $25,000, right?

    Oh dear, the poor Molochians are in for a rude shock when the mad Twitterer cashes in his chips!

    Look forward to an incisive breakdown in Sharri's media, sorry, vendetta column next week.

    Callow, Callay, what frabjous joy awaits us.

  3. Check the new Sharri Markson twitter account!

    Love the Sharria laws.

    (Think it's a fake :)

    1. Great fun. She really sets herself up for this, it's surprising it took so long.

  4. Organic Cheese Panto
    GI (wish I hadn't of said that) Joe: "hey Senator Vroom Vroom! CATCH it's your free political mileage pass, compliments of the house".

    "Thanks Joe moooo".

    Uncle Sam's Manchurian panto
    "hey Ossies! the Chinese are communist bastards and they're going to invade Ossie Land".

    O gee Skip lucky we just signed the new Force Posture Agreement at AUSSIEMIN (WINK) and feisty sexy pretty little Jackie's idea of mandatory conscription is a bonza idea too (WINK)

    1. My apologies it's Ja-cqui and in Uncle Sam Land it's called Selective Service or the SS...for males only (which probably explains our recent Women In Combat changes). Now I'm guessing that since Ja-cqui is spewing forth the idea of millitary service, the Ossie version will include tha ladies too eh (WINK).

      Here's the spiel, now boys n girlies if you don't sign up you don't get any government funding, short sweet and to the point. Enough of this namby pamby six months without the dole stunt.

    2. 10. I thought I already opted out of military recruitment by turning a form into my high school office. Shouldn't the military already be prevented from getting my personal information?

      The military gathers information from a wide array of sources. One source is information gathered under the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB)which allows recruiters to request directory information (name, address, phone number) of eleventh and twelfth grade students from the Department of Education. The NCLB information is completely separate from the JAMRS information. If you opt out of NCLB and are still being contacted by the military then your information is probably contained in the JAMRS database. You must opt out of both NCLB and JAMRS. (

      No Child Left Behind gee that sounds like an education revolution or perhaps a data mining revolution. Are our pollies remote controlled robots or what?

  5. I have a theory regarding Hockey's semi-retraction of his half-hearted, albeit continually repeated, apology. That is, he became very concerned about Cormann's "Reality Check" statement on the Budget and then Dutton's assertion that Medicare is a free service.

    That is, Hockey became concerned that his position as biggest dickhead after Abbott was being threatened. Hence his determined retreat from his apology.

    After all, it's not him nor the government that is wrong, it's just the rest of Australia.


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