Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Laying it on the prawns ...

Mind boggling?

That's pretty strong.

Now hopefully Indonesia's Minister for Foreign Affairs, Dr Marty Natalegawa, will stay with the pond on this one.

Under the broader definitions available, a shrimp can be synonymous with prawns, those stalk eyed crustaceans.

Don't worry about the pedants, hang in on this one.

Now it's well known that the earth has already suffered one soul-destroying invasion by prawns - it was revealed in the documentary movie District 9.

The entire planet's supply of cat food was under dire threat. The world had to fight back.

I can't believe I'm being paid to do this. I love watching you prawns die.

They were cunning and clever. They played dumb but it was only an act:

... you sneaky fuckin' prawns, heh? I knew you Prawns were intelligent.

Now do you get it, Dr. Natalegawa?

"I find that a bit mind-boggling and a bit difficult how I can connect or reconcile discussion about shrimps and how it impacts on Australia's security," he told reporters. (Marty Natalegawa cannot comprehend 'mind-boggling' explanation for Australia spying on US law firm in Indonesia)

You still don't get it?

Sheesh, the pond has done its level best. We're fighting to save the world from prawns and all you can do is moan about it? What sort of friend is that? What about the special relationship Tony Abbott blathers on about on a daily basis? Hasn't he always said you're the only country that counts, that we've got a super dooper relationship going on here?

Would it help to explain to you that Australian politicians are habitual liars of the first water? Surely as a politician yourself, you can understand?

The latest example happens to feature that toff and prat Malcolm Turnbull.

Yep, one of Mal's sidekicks let it slip and it got reported in Maybe we did overestimate Labor's NBN cost, admits Government.

Turnbull’s Assistant Minister has now said that NBN Co’s internal review of Labor’s NBN costed it at $56 billion, still high but much closer to Labor’s figure than the inflated estimate the Coalition took to the election. 

But, but, but, billy goat Paul Fletcher big Mal swore until he was black and blue it was dead certain to cost at least $90 billion and that estimate might be on the conservative side. Who knew where it might end?

Look there: The NBN Will Cost $90 Billion Claims Turnbull.

No, wait, look over here, see here, he got it up to more than a $100 billion, $94 billion not the worst Labor NBN case: Turnbull.

$104 billion!

Yes, yes, and he even got the completely useless, mindless stupidities of the fact checkers at Politifact onside, as you can still read in Will the NBN cost $94 billion.

So what's that they say you said Hon. Mr. Fletcher?

When asked by iTWire about the disparity between the Coalition’s $90 billion estimate of a FTTP network and the much lower NBN Co estimate (made by the management team the Coalition had put into place) of $56 billion, the best Fletcher could say was that the Coalition estimate “may have been a little high.”

A little high?

What's $48 fucking billion between fucking chums?

Can you toss a spare billion the pond's way since it seems to count for so little, what with chairman Rupert's concern just making off with a tidy sum ...

Here's the truth of it. The pond long ago learned that Stephen Conroy was a censorious fool who dissembled about the cost, the speed of the roll out and the competence of his team.

Sadly it now seems that the truth about Malcolm Turnbull is that either he was a fool and innumerate to boot, or he deliberately and maliciously lied.

Yep, it's an either/or choice, a 1 or a 0. That's all you need in the digital age.

Oh I suppose you could say he was a fucking fool and a fucking fraud, but let's not gild the lily, in the style of big Mal ...

I know, I know, it's probably not an exaggeration, we could double down and we'd be pretty close, like 104 billion is pretty close to 56 billion, but we like to be a little seemly.

So you see Marty, that's how it's done, dinky di style.

Lie in abundance and high style - never mind if your nose gets to be 48 billion cms long - get yourself into power, and then enjoy the perks dishing it out to the prawns ...

(Below: well played Karlia Judd, here)

And here's another, just so you know that picture really didn't load:


  1. DP, may I draw your vigilant gaze to a skilful form of words used by the Gauleiter of Manus? He said the latest riot was contained "Without the use of batons". By jings, I do hope he didn't mean the guards did not resort to boots, pepper spray, tazers and shotguns. Those untermensch need to be taught a lesson.
    Art Sinodinos is another lieutenant who is cultivating a taste for the finer things in life. He is sporting a close buzz-cut for his cameo to sponsor the straitened life-styles of financial advisers. Art could improve his image with a shaven head and a soul-patch.


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