In which a certain Stroud redeems little England, and someone must discover the laws revealing the state of being Dame Groan ...

 

The pond woke to news that Europe was in the grip of a massive heat dome, and that France had endured its hottest day on record, and that many had drowned seeking to escape the heat, and was comforted that if the lizard Oz took any notice, it would be so far down the page that none of the climate denialists would be troubled or feel the need to trot out the usual bilge.

As for the regular group of bilge spouters, fermenting like algae in a badly lined pool, the pond came away disappointed.

Dame Slap is always hit and miss.

Too often she disappears up her fundament, or contemplates her navel, or spends endless column inches whining about some justice who fails to conform to her own peculiar ideas about the legal system. 

So it was again today, and so the pond had no problem confining her to the intermittent archive cornfield. The pond had the tedious duty of saving it to the archive, but better that than dealing with Dame Slap at length.

Courting politics is more than an error of judgment
NSW Supreme Chief Justice Andrew Bell seems to have fallen for the rookie judicial mistake of thinking his black robes confer greater morality on his views.
By Janet Albrechtsen
Columnist

For those tempted to wade into that festering swamp, it was just more about an internecine struggle, with the justice in question having committed a thought crime ...

Bell has publicly criticised Tony Abbott for spreading misinformation when the former PM posted that “it should not be for a judge to decide when a political protest is justified. The decision to close the Sydney Harbour Bridge to facilitate this protest is a political decision and should be made by elected and accountable ministers – who, as it happens, think the march should not go ahead.”
Bell must have known full well that there is a legitimate political debate as to whether we should empower judges to make decisions of a political nature, especially when it concerns intelligence impacting the government’s first duty to keep people safe.

Ditto the pond decided to despatch the always anal meretricious Merritt...

Non-publication order leaves reasoning in dark
Justice is meant to be seen to be done – but a District Court judge has excluded key video evidence against two former nurses while hiding his reasoning from the public.
By Chris Merritt
Legal Affairs Contributor

The reasoning was obvious enough, but the meretricious Merritt didn't like it because it left the prosecution in a bind, and how he dearly wanted a result.

The pond also decided to let go another member of the Kelly gang ...

Why ignoring Holocaust education is the worst kind of teacher activism
It is shameful that the Australian Education Union is deflecting from teaching the Holocaust by using the excuse of the Middle East conflict.
By Mike Kelly

On any other day perhaps, but this was the day that the reptiles studiously ignored yet another UN report ...per the Graudian ...

Israel continues to commit genocide by targeting children in Gaza, UN inquiry finds
Independent report says by aiming at children Israel is undermining capacity of Palestinian people to exist

Inter alia ...

The pond looks forward to the day that the reptiles run a column deploring the way that they've ignored a current, ongoing form of ethnic cleansing and genocide.

Then the pond turned to another scything ...

At this civilisational moment, we must resist sliding into cultural amnesia
Australia is one of its great success stories. The institutions that formed in this country brought the best out of people. It’s time we restitch the social fabric.
By Philippa Stroud

But then the pond stayed its hand.

It turned out that this was a loon for the ages, celebrating a gathering of loons, featuring a wondrous collage of loons as a temptation to venture further ...

The header: At this civilisational moment, we must resist sliding into cultural amnesia; Australia is one of its great success stories. The institutions that formed in this country brought the best out of people. It’s time we restitch the social fabric.

The caption for the incredible collage that lured the pond in, shamefully with no credit for the artiste responsible for this meisterwerk: A montage of ARC speakers, including Jordan Peterson, Niall Ferguson, Douglas Murray, Philippa Stroud and Tony Abbott.

The pond had the incredible pleasure recently of watching Niall Ferguson and Douglas Murray say incredibly stupid things about mad King Donald's Iran folly (Ferguson appears in the Bulwark video c. 22'35" in, Murray follows at c. 29'20"). And the pond was delighted to discover that the always addled Jordan Peterson was still considered a thing.

So the pond was more than prepared for blather about ancient Greeks, Christ and the joys of Western Civilisation, and the baroness obliged ...

Last summer, my husband and I walked the sun-bleached streets of Athens in search of the sites that built this civilisation. We climbed Pnyx Hill, the birthplace of democracy. We sought out the ruins of Plato’s Academy. We climbed the Areopagus, where the Apostle Paul first spoke the Christian message to an unresponsive city.
At each point we felt humbled as we took in the history of places that, 3000 years on, still shape how we think and what we believe. And yet something was wrong. While some of the ancient temples were awash with tourists, these places were empty. Forgotten.
Their forgottenness reflects something about our civilisation today. We have lost touch with our foundations.
We can all feel that something is not quite right. We feel it in the mental health crisis among young people from cities like Melbourne to my home city of London. We feel it in the collapse of trust in our public institutions and the fracturing of our politics. We feel it in the way our societies have lost confidence in their history and unpicked many of their core foundations.

The pond was outraged. How dare she suggest there was a forgottenness which suggested an ability to forget the wonders of the English language.

Didn't we enjoy Our Henry each Friday? 

Didn't we note the odd times that he failed to mention Thucydides or some other ancient Greek?

Doesn't he offer a parade of arcane references? Are we not made civilised and whole in consequence?

The reptiles decided to torment the pond further by showing a snap of the abuser of the English language... Executive chair of the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship Baroness Philippa Stroud speaking at the Aspire conference in Sydney. Jane Dempster / The Australian

It turned out that the baroness liked a bit of a scrap ...

Recent YouGov polling for The Times found that only 11 per cent of Britons aged 18-27 would fight for their country. In Australia, the equivalent figures are barely better. A majority of young people across the West are fearful about the future they are about to inherit.

The pond noted the discreet age, which conveniently put the baroness outside a call to arms, though perhaps Ukraine could use her in some capacity.

The pond decided to take a squiz at her wiki, and was surprised to see that while she did many things, not once had she decided to serve her country in the military.

Never mind, she could always issue a different, but still rousing, call to arms ...

Philosopher Os Guinness puts it like this. He says we are at a civilisational moment – a defining moment for the West, in which we have a simple choice. Will we choose to renew our foundations, or will we drift into decline?
This week, at the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship conference in London, a global gathering of leaders from across the free world is laying out a blueprint for reconstruction.
Some of the most important contributions are coming from Australians. 

Oh dear, not the Viktor Orbán lover and not the sucker on the Hungarian taxpayer's teat, not the rustic from Gunnedah too much time on his hands, not Bid and Danny ... but so it came to pass:

Tony Abbott is speaking on why we must have confidence in our national stories; John Anderson is speaking on what it takes to lead with character in a time of fracture; Bridget McKenzie is speaking about the fundamental importance of the family to our flourishing, and; Danny Abdullah is bringing his powerful testimony of forgiveness in the darkest times.
What does reconstruction require? It begins with getting serious about our history and our philosophical foundations. For too long our young people have been told stories of decline, and we have neglected the golden threads that run from Athens, Rome and Jerusalem to our own day. The Western story is a good story. It grounds the belief that every life has dignity, that justice is found where there is the rule of law, and that free exchange is the greatest means of unlocking abundance.

Again the pond was outraged.

Had not mad King Donald continued the noble tradition of Roman emperors by bunging on that UFC do on the White House lawns?

Was that not a grand continuation of panem et circenses? And didn't he, each day, evoke memories of the ways of the emperors, whether Tiberius or Caligula? Or perhaps the mad Queen in Alice, shouting off with their heads?

At this point the reptiles flung in another snap ...Leila and Danny Abdallah. Picture: David Swift

The pond was more interested in what followed.

As Tony Abbott’s new book underlines, Australia is one of its great success stories. The institutions that formed in this country brought the best out of people and built a nation in shared prosperity. It is a story worth celebrating.

Say what? The onion muncher has got a new book out and the pond missed it? Wait, she's probably referring to the tome that came out last year ... and which the pond luckily managed to avoid.

And so to a message of despair and malaise...

With our foundations recovered, we must restitch the social fabric – strengthening families, communities, and the bonds of responsibility that hold a free society together. The decline of marriage, the collapse of the birthrate, the loneliness epidemic, all of these are symptoms of a deeper malaise in society that requires new vision.

Fear not, you just need to sup deep on the baroness's favourite form of koolaid...

We have to return to the foundational belief that the home is the primary site of moral formation, that the family is an indispensable institution for our flourishing, and that we will get nowhere if we do not intentionally seek to build bonds of family, community and nation once more.
From here we turn to the economy. Much of the West’s sense of decline is tied to economic stagnation and a social contract that no longer holds. We must back the builders again. That means throwing off the regulatory and ideological constraints choking enterprise. It means restoring the abundant, reliable, affordable energy on which industry, prosperity and modern life depend. It means an economy in which the young can once again hope to own a home, build a business and raise a family with confidence.
Finally, we are midway through a technological revolution that will define the coming decades. Artificial intelligence, robotics and biotechnology carry extraordinary promise. They also carry profound risks. The attention economy has already weakened the mental health of a generation. AI is concentrating power in ways that could deepen inequality, not reduce it.

Could the reptiles get through without featuring a snap of the onion muncher? Not likely: Liberal Party Federal President Tony Abbott. Picture: Asanka Ratnayake / Getty Images

Sure, he resembles a mouth-opened carp, but will the reptiles ever feature a more appealing snap?

And so to the final gobbet ...

The question that must govern every decision in this space is simple. Is the technology we are building serving human flourishing, or undermining it? The challenges we face in the West are not simple, they are multi-layered, impacting culture, society and our economies: we need a blueprint for reconstruction at every level if we are to turn the ship around.
We are called the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship because we have a fundamental conviction that the answer to our greatest challenges lies at our door.
The answer, on every front, depends on people. On leaders willing to think for the long term. On parents and teachers prepared to form character. On builders and entrepreneurs willing to take risks for things worth building. On citizens who remember that a civilisation is not a possession but an inheritance, held in trust for the generation that comes next.
The West is struggling but there is still real hope. But we cannot trust the government to solve our greatest challenges. The work of reconstruction will not begin by itself. It will begin when enough of us, on both sides of the world, decide the inheritance we have been given is worth fighting for.
Baroness Philippa Stroud is the executive chair of the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship. ARC is holding its 2026 conference, themed The Age of Reconstruction, in London from June 23-25.

Nah ...the pond is too busy celebrating the triumph of standalone Brexiting little England ...

Again if you don't mind...

Thank you immortal Rowe ...

No wonder they're bleating about civilisational rot in little England.

And now the pond should at least give an honourable mention to a howl of despair, a cry of pain by the bouffant one, only two minutes long, and available in full at the archive ...

Could be worse.

Thank you Ms Wilcox.

Could Pauline be the only true reptile saviour in their desperate hour of need?

And so to a truly great bonus.

At the get go, the pond should note that it was struck mightily by a correspondent's notion that there should be a Dame Groan law, or laws, up there with the series of laws designed to codify Our highly esteemed Henry's contributions to western civilisation.

The pond wondered if some aspect of Murphy's assorted laws might be made to fit...

Left to Jimbo and Albo, things tend to go from bad to worse.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked Jimbo and Albo.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the Jimbo deed that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for Jimbo to go wrong, it will happen then.

Whatever, this requires greater minds than the pond's sludge pit.

See if this inspires ...

Sheesh, the pond got it wrong from the get go ...

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the light of an oncoming Jacinta.

The header: Budget verdict: Victoria and Tasmania named Australia’s worst economic managers;Victoria has already sold everything it owns, Tasmania is building a stadium no one needs, and Queensland is hosting an Olympics it cannot afford.

Sadly no caption or credit for the remarkable opening image, and so the pond assumes that AI must take the credit.

The pond did wonder if the old biddy was suggesting nationalisation, what with her deploring the deep southerners for selling off everything they owned, but no such luck.

Instead what followed was a remarkable compendium of charts and figures, and while the reptiles contend it's just a four minute read, you could start and get lost forever in the figuring, but rest assured, the message is the same, "we'll all be rooned, and before Xmas no doubt":

The final whistle has sounded. The state budget season is over for another year. It’s time for the wrap-up and the awarding of prizes.
Let me be clear that I have decided to rule out Western Australia from the competition. Blessed by the extraordinary flow of revenue from royalties as well as its sweetheart GST deal, the Sandgropers are playing in another league from the other states. Western Australia will simply get the label “DNQ”.
There was a time in the early 2010s when commenting on state budgets was like describing grass growing, slowly. Net operating surpluses were delivered, capital expenditure was relatively modest, state government debt was well controlled.
These days, it’s more like watching out-of-control bushfires that have been raging since Covid took hold and, in some cases, before then – Victoria being the obvious example.
All the states apart from Western Australia are in various states of fiscal distress. Not that the politicians in charge want to admit this; but it’s the reality. The total size of the states’ debt is approaching the level of the federal government’s debt.

Every state treasurer reassures their population that everything is under control, and things are about to improve. Sure, there have been successive net operating deficits and state debt is soaring, but over the next four years – or perhaps a little later – everything will be back on an even keel. Good try, Daniel Mookhey, NSW Treasurer, but I’m not convinced.
The messaging has a strong St Augustinian ring – fiscal rectitude, but just not now. Bung in some optimistic forecasts about state output growth in the out-years and suddenly that burgeoning state government debt as a percentage of the assumed output doesn’t look that bad.
So let me start the drum-roll and begin awarding the prizes.

But not before a snap, NSW Treasurer Daniel Mookhey delivers the state budget on Tuesday. Picture: NewsWire / Bianca De Marchi

Now on with the prizes:

Best quote from a state treasurer: South Australian Treasurer Tom Koutsantonis: “It would be lovely to give everyone free public transport and free carparking and a puppy”, in response to the plea for cost-of-living measures. (Forget the puppy, Tom, but a dozen Veuve would be great.)
Worst fiscal performance by a state: It’s a draw between Victoria and Tasmania. Because it’s small, Tasmania is often overlooked in these competitions; it’s basically the size of a handful of suburbs in Melbourne and Sydney.
State government debt in Tasmania goes from $6.82bn this year to nearly $10bn in 2029 – the speed of this deterioration sets a new sort of depressing benchmark for that state.

This state thinks it can’t live without a wildly expensive new stadium that will be used a few times each year because it must have an Aussie rules team. The difference between want and need obviously has escaped those living in the Apple Isle.
In the case of Victoria, were it not for creative accounting in its budget papers, it would be fiscal toast. Oh, that’s right, it’s already fiscal toast, with state debt easily sailing past $200bn when you include government agencies, and everything in the state that could be sold off already flogged.
But the rating agencies, perhaps not altogether naively, think that the federal government will bail out the state. There’s quite a bit going on under the table already – the funding of the biggest white elephant of them all, the Suburban Rail Loop, for example.

Worst capital expenditure item: Obviously the SRL mentioned above is the likely winner: it’s a massively expensive boondoggle taking people between suburbs in Melbourne that no one currently travels. It’s a gift to the CFMEU to keep the high-paid jobs flowing for years to come.
But there are other contenders. Virtually all large-scale projects being undertaken in every state are overpriced and badly delayed.
The new women’s and children’s hospital in Adelaide must be approaching Taj Mahal standards given its rising cost. The completely unjustified Copper String transmission line in Queensland also makes the short list as does the exorbitant cross-river rail project in Brisbane. The cost of the Metro project in Sydney is also way over budget.

Worst pre-election bribe: Again, another tie, this time between Victoria and NSW. Who wants to pay full price for car rego? Come to either of those two states to get a discount, with the cost going on the state debt tab.
Mind you, the ongoing 50c public transport fares in Queensland probably deserve a perpetual award. If the preposterous initiative wasn’t bad enough to begin with, making it permanent is unforgivable. Forget the puppy; it’s a litter of puppies.
The worst GST deal: All the states whinge about this, well apart from Western Australia, but it’s clear that at this point, NSW is coming off worse from the divvying up of the GST revenue, receiving just above 80 per cent of what they would get on a per-capita basis.
The bigger picture here is that federal financial relations are absolutely cactus; the case for reform is overwhelming. The federal treasurer would have spent his time much better trying to fix this problem, rather than imposing a massively complex series of tax assaults on business and capital accumulation.

The biggest threat to state budgets: At this stage, it’s the slump in stamp duty revenue that will almost certainly occur from the fallout of the government’s new tax package (as well as higher interest rates) on the housing market. Note here that stamp duty revenue is more sensitive to variations in the number of transactions than the price of those transactions but both variables matter.
The state that will be most affected is NSW – stamp duty as a proportion of total revenue is highest in that state. Some downgrades have been factored in, but they may not be enough.

A final snap, Queensland Premier David Crisafulli shakes hands with Treasurer David Janetzki after he tabled the 2026-27 budget in parliament. Picture: Newswire/ Tertius Pickard

And then a final serve of doom, garnished with despair:

The Olympics impact: One of the worst decisions made by the then Queensland premier Annastacia Palaszczuk was to “bid” for the Olympic Games in 2032, not that there were any other bidders.
The truth is that Queensland is not well-placed to bear the fiscal costs of building the necessary infrastructure for the Games. The capex component of the budget will proportionately surpass anything we have seen in the overspending southern states and that’s saying something. The feds will have no choice but to chip in well beyond the current commitment.
Watching state budget bushfires might be more exciting than watching the grass grow, but I’d settle for the quiet life any day. At this rate, I’ll be waiting a while.

Did Dame Groan get her prizes right?

And why wasn't there a prize for most gloomy brooder about economics? Surely she would have won in a canter, but what modesty, what a self-effacing scribbler she is.

After all that the pond wondered if a law would truly fit, or could possibly replace poetic insights:

While round the lizard Oz in clothes genteel
  Discoursed the Groan of mark,
And each reptile squatted on their heel,
  And chewed their piece of bark.

"There'll be state debt and disaster for sure, me Murdochians,
  There will, without a doubt;
We'll all be rooned," said Dame Groan,
  "Before the year is out."

And speaking of gloom, let the infallible Pope provide a final note, with hints of little England and bird flu on the back palate ...

A little Thiel will fix what ails ya...(see Wired in the archive for the yarn)