In which the Caterist caters to mindlessly moronic members of the hive mind, the Killer does khaos, and the Major returns after going AWOL ...

 

The pond had to spend the weekend consoling partner, struggling to deal with that song being dragooned into the campaign for the Voice. 

The partner was proposing to withdraw from the world for the entire time of the referendum campaign in a bid to avoid hearing that song ....

The pond suggested it could be worse, it could have been a riff on that Tenterfield saddler's song, or one of those ABC jingles about being Australian that forced the partner to stop watching the ABC, or even worse, it could have been a Qantas commercial, with a tribe of young 'uns in the desert singing uplifting lyrics about selling cancelled tickets to cancelled seats on cancelled planes (if we must talk of cancel culture)..

But then when the mutton Dutton proposed another referendum, after having driven down the current one, the pond's partner went into a frothing, foaming frenzy ... as if mug punters would swallow that sort of B/S, the pond's partner said, knowing that the mutton Dutton would propose almost anything, and roll out any sort of lie, provided he could do down the Voice, not as a matter of principle, but simply to give Albo's mob a smack in the chops. As if we'd go through the whole charade again...

It was almost a relief for the pond to avoid any more kitchen table chatter, and turn to the lizard Oz for a serve of the usuals.

And so to the survey of what was top of the reptile digital charts this day ...

Yep, there's not a mention of a second referendum.

Instead there's simplistic Simon doing what a "no conflict of interest here" man must do, and Killer at the top of the charts, and more blather about "virtue-signalling", when the pond had noted that Remy had previously been in the simplistic Simon spot...

Oh come now, Remy surely not the war in Ukraine? 

The reptiles disappeared that long ago, and would much rather run a story about "virtue-signalling" cartoonists than a story about the impact of climate change, or making preparations for the dangers of a bushfire season heightened by the impact of climate change ...

Speaking of the climate, down below the fold the Caterist had found a new subject for his ire ... Twiggy.

At this point the pond should note the irony of a cosily woke columnist quite happy to live on the taxpayer dime, before. turning to the usual weird set of illustrations, including a picture of Barnsey ...

Not Barnsey, as the pond's partner scurried from the room.

Never mind, once you got the snaps out of the way, the serve of Caterism turned into very small dollops of thin gruel ...

Um, surely an SMR installed next to the plant would provide a world of energy? Sorry, the pond was just kidding, and it was on to the next gobbet ...

The pond loves it when the reptiles blather about "group think", so much more original than the pond talking of the hive mind at the lizard Oz (too X Files), and even better "the uncritical woke press" because nothing virtue-signals the moronic than incessant repetition of mindless references to "woke", down there with Hare Krishnas chanting 'om' ...

Not to worry, the pond was left to wonder why there'd been the usual kicking of renewables - no lebensraum, it seems - but the usual SMR stuff hadn't been trotted out. Surely Twiggy needed to be reminded of the awesome power of hydrogen-producing SMRs?

Was the Caterist off his game?

Ah, won't someone think of the koalas and more talk of groupthink from the hive mind, but no mention of SMRs and nuking the country, and surely the Caterist was off his game ...

And so to the delayed pleasure of Killer, with a Killer splash ...

Um, say what you will about the need to get out of Afghanistan, and leave Afghani women to their own devices under a regime that makes The Handmaid's Tale read like a study in matriarchal rule, and abandon and betray those Afghanis who had co-operated with allied forces, surely that line about it being "far from a fiasco" is a classic Killer line, up there with his Freudian fear of masks ...

It was a classic fiasco, generating images that were down there with the images of the last days of Saigon, with people dangling from planes and crammed inside against orders, and chaos at the gates ... and if Saigon doesn't come to mind, perhaps the fall of Singapore does, but still, give Killer a go ...

Yep, there was that line again, and for a moment, the pond had wondered what it had watched happen, and perhaps the only thing that was weirder was to see Killer mount a defence of jolly Joe on the basis that it was far from a fiasco ...

Yes, yes, all that, but in the end, the withdrawal was a fiasco, and the lizard Oz graphics department couldn't help themselves and produced a couple of snaps to remind the pond that it was an ill-organised fiasco, based on the delusional premise that the Afghan government might hold on a little longer ...

And then it was on to more Killer explaining how people falling off planes in flight wasn't a fiasco ...

The pond did admire the cold, calculating way that Killer kasually assigned the kollective of Afghani women to being the living dead, with the sort of kasual Killer kapacity the pond has long admired, but then it got truly weird ... because Dunkirk ...

Say what? Of all the weird comparisons Killer could make, Dunkirk?

From an American perspective, it might have been rational. Cruelly abandoning a country after fucking it over is after all the American way - think Vietnm, think Iraq - but "rational" doesn't mean an absence of chaos, and you can't get away with the observable, recorded chaos by simply saying that perfect doesn't exist in the real world ...

That's chaos, and that's enough of that, and the pond will pass on that video, because Major Mitchell has stopped going AWOL and this morning has reported for duty ...

The pond has no time for dictator Xi, but occasionally it does pause to wonder what might happen to Australia, and in particular Australian exports, if Xi has genuinely fucked the Chinese economy.

Would the Major then be so sanguine about the war with China?

Never mind, at this point the reptiles ran a snap of Oz standing solid with jolly Joe - it was that sort of morning - followed by a snap of the Major's current bête noire ...

About all those snaps did was remind the pond of Andrew Rawnsley's howl of pain about Rish! for The Observer, and it wasn't about concrete cancer and the failure to learn from the Romans how to do concrete, it was For all Rishi Sunak’s desire to be a big world player, Brexit has ensured a walk-on part ...

Sheesh, why does the lizard Oz graphics department routinely lead the pond astray ... and so it was back to the war on China with the Major ...

By golly, the Major talks a good game, and yet what happens if dictator Xi does succeed in dragging the Chinese economy to the ground. Might Australia not catch a case of the sniffles, or perhaps a full-on cold, or perhaps even the flu?

The pond suddenly realised the Major's game ... he had to counter all that rubbish coming from the woke mob (if the pond might borrow a mindlessly moronic word to evoke the Major's state of mind) ...

Talk about typical, there was the Graudian carrying on like pork chops on parade with As China’s economy stalls, Australia braces for the impact on its currency and tourism market

What a bunch of alarmist, scaredy cat pussycats.

But who might the Major quote to send these rats scurrying?

Why the Major of course ... the Major quoting the Major is a sure way to defeat defeatist scoundrels ...

The pond left that last gobbet entirely confused. It would be foolish to overstate things, yet wasn't the Major intent on foolishly overstating things?

It seems China will stabilise and pass the US, but at the same time, it's in serious financial trouble ...

What the pond needed was a Major to interpret the Major, and it was with a sigh of relief that the pond realised that there was just a gobbet to go ...

Ah, so the war with China is back on, and if the Major and the bromancer can only work out how, likely by Xmas ... and perhaps the Major next week could provide an answer to that burning question, Modern prime ministers have typically left parliament soon after defeat. So why doesn’t Scott Morrison?

Is he hanging around to show dictator Xi he hasn't really been defeated? Is there still a chance he might serve in the war with China?

Meanwhile, any chance of a reptile update on the war in Ukraine? Must the pond always turn to the Graudian for daily coverage? How else to be distracted from the impending bushfire season ...

Never mind, time to wrap up the day's proceedings, and eek, it's an immortal Rowe being funny about that song ...

What a band, and as usual, it's always in the details, especially that man bashing away and almost hidden by the curtain ...