loon pond

 

 

The pond is astonished it hadn't thought of it before, the perfect Sunday double bill, prattling Polonius and nattering "Ned" together, and boring the sox and stockings off punters, so that they'll immediately be inspired to close the device and head back to bed for an extra snooze ...

Let prattling Polonius start by showing the sleep-inducing benefits of incessant repetition, sure to get punters away from the valley of the dolls and into a deep natural sleep ...

 

 

 

How Polonius hates those independents, sneaky fellow travellers with Albo ... but soon enough Polonius will reveal an even deeper and direr conspiracy ... the ABC!

Of course in days gone by, Polonius could say it a lot more quickly ...

 

Or even worse got kicked off The Insiders because they were tired of his glum face and relentless groaning ...

And yet the pond fancies that this image conjures up the real Polonius, though the artist should have worked in a picket fence ...

 

Now on with the indie bashing and another old fogey leading the way ...

 

 

There is of course a simpler answer than the paranoid one. They're running in seats where they think they might have a chance to shake a few old apples out of the tree ...you know the bullshit soft at the core Liberals trying to pretend that they're actually liberals, when they're in the same government as the mutton Dutton - is potato, Barners, the Canavan caravan, beefy boofhead Angus and so on and so forth, not to mention the speaker in tongues himself ...

And the more that Polonius talks up the dire threat, the more obvious it is that the reptiles and the government are feeling threatened...

Why on these pages yesterday Dame Slap went full tilt at Sharma for being a woke marshmallow, but if you follow the logic of Murray and Polonius, that must make her some kind of deviant leftie ...

The pond spat out a mouthful of porridge at the notion, and turned back to more Polonial ranting, especially at that turncoat Karvelas, never worth a dime since she abandoned the reptiles for a bit of cardigan-wearing ...

The pond dimly understands Polonius doing 'hate listening' - it would be so much easier just to switch off - because the pond does much the same with its hate reading of the reptiles, but all the same, isn't there a certain monotony inherent in the task?

 

 

 

Around this time the pond began to yearn for a cartoon, any cartoon, just to top the usual blather about soft questions, as if Polonius has ever asked a hard question about the speaker in tongues to imaginary friends ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, it's a deeply fucked country, with much of it already under the control of the Taliban, but the pond found it a soothing distraction, as we get on with that blather about soft questions ... 

 

Will Polonius's and the reptiles' war on the independents take hold and achieve their obvious aims? Who knows, not even the Shadow knows, but all will be revealed in time, more endless weeks of this kind of campaigning designed to pretend to being commentary ...

And now as the pond turns to nattering "Ned", the seemliness of the pairing will become readily apparent ...

Oh golly could the pond just have another relaxing, soothing cartoon as a distraction ...

Eek, that didn't work ... and neither does the next section of the pompous portentous blow hard, because what was really lacking with Albo was his inability to deal with a gotcha question, with others showing the way ...

 

 

 

You'd have thought pollies would have realised how to deal with gotcha questions, ever since way back when ...

 

 

 

 

Well it all depends if you want to look and sound like a silly goose ...

Glorious days, but now back to "Ned" trying to give such gotcha public entertainment questions the full-blown pompous portentous treatment for which he's justly famous ... (this is especially poignant for the pond as it has exported all its memory to the cloud, such that things only exist if they can be found in the cloud or on the internet) ...

 

 

At this point "Ned's" naked intent was revealed by the reptiles' choice of snaps ...

It's pretty good, enough to hold down second place, with that glum look and a hint of dementia and something forgotten, but damn it reptiles you know the pond was jonesing for the quadrella. 

Why couldn't you have blessed "Ned" with the right snap and seen the pond romp home ...

 

Was it something about being too undignified for "Ned"? Was it thought a little too tabloid? But it had already been given a good flogging in all sorts of places in the lizard Oz ... and when has "Ned" ever shown a morsel of shame, as opposed to routinely offering  a cornucopia of fellow traveling with his mates ...

 

The thing is, the pond can get all these talking points straight from the horse's mouth, without needing to listen to the reptiles' Neddy ...

Well if the reptiles can deploy a neutered click bait video sans "Ned" reading his own material to the delighted masses, then the pond can trot out a totally irrelevant cartoon ...

And so to the good news, with there just being two gobbets to go ...

 

And now, click bait video neutered there's just one gobbet to go, wherein "Ned" tries to pretend that he's offering a balanced assessment, but in reality he's desperate for the speaker in tongues to imaginary friends to win ...

 

Yes, yes, we know "Ned" is a big fan of Dame Groan and her views on employment, but now it's time to end with a vaguely relevant cartoon, as Kudelka has stayed on the job here ...

 

And another one for luck ...