The pond had reptile overflow this weekend, and decided it would be best to tuck Dame Slap and the bromancer into a specialist late Sunday arvo slot where only expert herpetologists might notice ... especially as the bromancer went a little mad.
We all go a little mad sometimes, even Tony Perkins, but this was as long a rant as the pond can remember in quite some time ...
Logistics suggest placing the bromancer rant is at the end, so that readers can drop like flies as they feel the mood, and that means Dame Slap goes first ...
The pond should have noted that Dame Slap seems to have retreated from world affairs, climate science denialism and such like, and now scribbles in support of the likes of the trudging Tudge.
She's such a tolerant sort when it comes to her own sort of chap, and the notion of Tudge behaving improperly, or even trying to secure his squeeze a promotion, is passed over with just a passing glance, in preference for a good dumping on the other party ...
It should go without saying that the pond is an admirer of the trudging Tudge and his many successes ...
Who else could keep cartoonists in such regular, gainful employment? And so on to a dose of far too much fucking information, thanks to Dame Slap ...
The pond joins with deploring Slomo for his shameful treatment of the truding Tudge, who was a wondrous minister ...
Further evidence, should Dame Slap require it, of the vital role the trudging Tudge played in offering meaningful employment to cartoonists ...
And so again to TMI ...
A cosy conversation around a dinner table with like-minded people? That sounds terribly like a meeting of the IPA, or perhaps a reptile dinner party ...but still, the pond takes the major point, the man was a cheenius, and has been unfairly treated ...
And now all that's left is that Terminator moment when he turns to camera and says he'll be back ...
Ah at last we come to the standard disclaimer.
You know, talk of predators, and abominable behaviour and such like, but just as surely, in the Dame Slap manner, that will be followed by a 'butt billy goat but' moment, and here it is ...
What did the pond take from this? Dame Slap hates Slomo as much as she hates other women ... and the truding Tudge was apparently a good minister, a singular fact that completely escaped the pond's attention ...
And so to the Everest, to climb, which saw the bromancer out and about yesterday in a fit of paranoid hysteria which was huge even for the bromancer ...
The pond only presents it because there's a big bromancer fan club out there, hanging off every word of the master strategist.
Sadly the reptiles seemed to lack a little confidence in their scribbler, so they seized every chance to slip in a click bait video or a snap, and so added to the length ...
Yes, it's another clarion call, and it's quite possible that Xi will be in Darwin by Easter.
What's that, they're already in Darwin and despite much muttering, Slomo still hasn't got around to cancelling the deal?
Never mind, here's the first of the reptile distractions, carefully neutered so it won't distract from the bromancer's ranting ...
Duly noted, terrified by the deeds of the sociopath, and now on with the rant ...
The pond has called for the bromancer to be installed as head of strategic defence many times. He's wasted on the reptiles, and is a bold visionary, always poised to strike, to action, to pound the keyboard ...
Gad sir, the pond knows this has nothing to do with the bromancer, but the pond needs the odd bit of visual distraction ... and the reptiles know this because the next gobbet features a snap ...
Indeed, indeed, and thanks to News Corp, the US took a splendid turn a few years ago ...
But back to the increasingly hysterical bromancer ...
At this point the reptiles decided to interrupt the bromancer's planning with a snap designed to send survivalists immediately to their bug out ...
It certainly didn't help the mood of the bromancer ...
Indeed, indeed, why not cancel everything? Without the bromancer's proper and expert guidance, defence has failed to do a single thing right ...and at that point the reptiles decided to throw in a shot of the bromancer's bête noire ...
Well it's almost a tank, and probably just as useless and it certainly needed to be cancelled, because it looks far too woke, and yet when it comes to a good cancelling, the bromancer then seems to get just as unhappy as when ordering up a defence banquet ...
Not to worry, no reason to dwell in the past, or worry about all the cancellations and the manic depressive fits, on with the next gobbet ... and with bonus neutered video to help with the distraction from those damned subs and useless tanks...
Dear sweet long absent lord, Hezbollah as the bromancer's inspiration?
But most of their missiles are about as smart and accurate as the pond's ancient wind-up clock, currently getting the time right twice a day.
It's not the number of missiles or feeling thire width, it's the ability to hit a target with accuracy.
Sure they're trying to upgrade with their "precision project", but having missiles that act like skyrockets isn't much of a gain on not having subs, not unless you want to feature them in an Oscar Wilde fairy tale ...
...In August 2019, a mysterious, sophisticated drone attack on a Beirut precision missile site was attributed to Israel. The attack, which demonstrated surgical ability and precise intelligence, reportedly destroyed a vital technical component of the kits used to upgrade Hezbollah’s rockets. Since then, however, the precision technology has become easier to assemble and deploy even as the ability to forestall its use is becoming increasingly complicated.
Never mind the blunt force trauma, feel the surgeon's knife ... but dammit, then you have to keep on sharpening the knife ...
It is of course wrong for the pond to argue strategy and tactics with the bromancer, because he's likely to change his mind as the manic depressive mood strikes him ... and in any case we've now reached the last gobbet of doom, wherein the bromancer seems to be arguing against himself ...
Yes, but if you fire off thousands and most of them miss or don't do the necessary damage and it only takes a day or two to recover, what's the point?
Not to worry, the pond should offer a little context for the bromancer's vision ... and he does get around to noting that perhaps a little smart weaponry wouldn't go astray ...
The countless billions flushed down the drain during Covid? But isn't the entire point to stay alive so we can all die fighting a war?
Indeed, indeed, and yet molotov cocktails also have their limitations, as noted by Rowson here ...
Heck of a way to spend a Sunday arvo: with Dame Slap who reckons that #MeToo proves that women shouldn't just be believed (whenever were they ?) and a Bromancer whose gift to Australians is to tell us that "For missiles to work strategically, you need thousands of them." Thanks for that wisdom, Bro.
ReplyDeleteOh well, let's see what Monday brings.