In which the pond is forced to lump along with lumpen proletariat member Dame Slap ...

Much as the pond would like to distract, or even entertain, during the summer holyday season, the pond regrets to advise that the lizard Oz's commentary section today is unreadable, or at least un-pond like and unfriendly …

Talk about a second eleven leavened with imports, but here's one story you won't see featured in the lizard Oz …

Thankfully the infallible Pope spared a thought for the science monster …

And here's the Graudian's follow-up … having a go at the reptiles ...

The Australian newspaper’s editorials, like its news stories, accept the basic premise that humans cause climate change and that action should be taken. The newspaper also covers diligently the news around the climate policy debate and the implications of climate change for business.

Well there's a nonsense for a start. Calling Lloydie diligent? What about fraudulent and deceptive? Never mind, Readfern could at least have a go at the old reliables ...

But its defence of its bushfire coverage ignores its prolonged willingness to expose readers to a regular diet of misrepresentations on climate change science on its opinion page, as well as outright denial of the breadth of science linking fossil fuel burning to dangerous climate change.
In November, as the bushfire crisis was unfolding, News Corp’s executive chairman, Rupert Murdoch, told his annual general meeting: “There are no climate change deniers around, I can assure you.”
The next day the Australian ran a column from the mining industry figure and geologist Prof Ian Plimer, who wrote: “It has never been shown that human emissions of carbon dioxide drive global warming.”
The organisation Climate Feedback asks climate scientists to fact-check articles and opinion columns.
Like three previous Plimer columns, the group gave the article its lowest rank for scientific credibility, saying it was “a mixture of misdirection, misleading claims and outright falsehoods”.

And there was always pond favourite Moorice, who turned up on these pages recently …

One of the Australian’s most flagrant and regular deniers has been Maurice Newman, the former ABC chairman and adviser to Tony Abbott who believes climate scientists are part of a global socialist plot.
“The scientific delusion, the religion behind the climate crusade, is crumbling,” Newman has written.
On checking one column, a scientist Newman had quoted to back his argument that global cooling was on the way said the claims were “scientifically ludicrous”. As recently as last week Newman referred to “the media left, Hollywood and the rest of the global warming cult”, comparing them to “ancient druids”.

But here's the thing, comical, clownish planet wreckers as they are, the lizard Oz is in tune with the SloMo zeitgeist, because the very moment the government had a chance to show they actually had got the message, they did their usual dance …

 

SloMo still clutches at coal, as he did in parliament so memorably …

Such a deep, rich vein of love. And the Canavan coal caravan rolls on … and today in the lizard Oz?

They'll never change, not even for a moment, not even while pretending, as noted by the infallible Pope …

So what's left?

Well under dire protest and extreme reluctance, the pond had to revert to an old favourite, Dame Slap, blathering about a topic the pond couldn't give a flying fuck about …

For fuck's sake, a couple of useless royals used to bash the lizard Oz piñata of progressives? Is there nothing that progressives can't be blamed for, including monarchism and republicanism?

Well Dame Slap knows how to struck to a familiar, tawdry reptile script ...

Dame Slap fancies herself as a member of the lumpen proletariat? Oh for fuck's sake, ye ancient howling cats and barking dogs, if Harry and Meghan are rich, deluded twits, where does that leave the rich working class delusions of Dame Slap?

The pond realised that its best hope was that Dame Slap would quickly tire of the recalcitrant royals, and quickly revert to what she does best, which is indulge in a litany of whines and foam-frothing rages about the many things that offend her … and lordy lordy, is she quick to take the gate as well as the fence …

But first we must endure the royal rage ...

Meanwhile, still at the heart of the royals, but forgotten in all the seething at the foreign upstart with an alarming touch of colour, the new Wallis Simpson, even if not a - gasp - American divorcée, a certain Prince Andrew, about whom Dame Slap herself once had words …

Well yes, up against the quaint delusions of Harry and bride, Andrew is something else, but he's still inside the castle, and a little belated delusional attempt by Dame Slap to position herself as a suffering member of the lumpenproletariat is perhaps even more comical than the narcissist royals …

Never mind, as hoped for, after the next par, Dame Slap of lumpenproletariat fame, will run out of royal steam, and revert to steaming litany mode ...

Oh fucketty fuck, see how easy it is for Dame Slap to jump to litany mode, hit the shortcuts key on the keyboard, and spew out standard reptile nonsense.

Tell the truth, if it was that easy for everybody, it'd be down tools at mill, and off to work for the reptiles, and after a hard half hour at the keyboard, swan off to show off the lumpenproletariat boots in a soirée with the chairman and doddery old little Johnny …

Ah, what every member of the lumpenproletariat should be wearing, especially in such classy surroundings …

Meanwhile, back to the litany, now moving from royals to education … can climate science be far behind?

It really is the holyday season, isn't it, with this regurgitated repetitious set of distortions being fed to the reptile readership, but the pond was missing the usual denialism of the reptiles …you know, seeing how we have to…

Never fear, Dame Slap knows what to say in her litany … which is just the usual climate science denialism dressed up in drag …

Remember, Dame Slap was an early exponent, as in this classic …

And so on, and amazingly, saved at the Wayback Machine here … and amazingly, given the world class treatment by the WSJ ...

And so on and on and on … and back then the pond ran this cartoon …

And yet, here we are again … dressed up with the notion that lumpenproletariats like Dame Slap can't possibly go with climate science … 

...because Zali Steggall

...because Harry and Meghan ...

And what good has lumpenproletariat Dame Slap done over the years? No doubt help fucking the planet is doing good in reptile eyes, but the pond isn't entirely convinced of its merit, or even the merit of being paid handsomely to blather about UN conspiracies and black helicopters …delusions as rich as the notion that Dame Slap is lumpenproletariat ...

But after all that, the pond feels some immense guilt, and in compensation, now desires to finish off its trip down memory lane with the Devine, and thankfully these are climate science related …

This first one, in which the Devine solved bushfires for all time, ran in the Sydney Morning Herald on 8th May 2003. It will sound amazingly familiar and predictable, and remarkably reptilian ... (click on to enlarge) ...

And this one ran on 5th June 2003 … with the Devine affirming her fear of trees and other forms of vegetation, perhaps because of her vegetative mind ...

And with that done and dusted - let the pond never speak of the Devine again - here's a couple of cartoons to go, by Wilcox …