In which the pond finds the usual climate science denialism, endures a bout of bromancer hysteria, and does the long march with nattering "Ned" ...

The pond was delighted that this day it was Ross Fitzgerald experiencing a Malware haunting … and it seemed the sighting of the miserable ghost had led Fitzgerald to produce a very silly proposition ….seeming to imply that if Shire clapper SloMo (as Gadfly is inclined to call him) loses at the next election, it will somehow be the fault of Malware and will somehow tarnish his NBN-destroying legacy.

Begone miserable ghost, and the idle fantasies you induce …

Meanwhile, there were other fish, and a planet, to fry ...

As soon as cartoons of the Toles kind start circulating, you can rely on the reptiles and Lloydie to renew their trolling…

 

Greens bias?

What about rampant climate science denialism bias? You won't find your average Catholic still sticking to the 'natural rhythm' routine - not if they want to avoid pregnancy - but how the reptiles love to stick with the luddites when it comes to the natural rhythm method…

Meanwhile, in an alternate world on another planet …

It's a simple enough choice … read Lloydie channeling Curry, or try the Graudian channeling NASA here ...

Well, the pond refused to be trolled or distracted by Lloydie, even if it provided an opportunity for a few more cartoons …

Besides, anyone wanting an idea of reptile thinking can score an easy digest thanks to the lizard Oz editorialist …

Actually the far right, of the kind the reptiles love, has had something to do with the recent unrest, but naturally, being full Trumpian, the reptiles prefer the Donald's explanation, half-arsed and half-baked as it is, in the usual climate denialist Donald way …

The reptiles will never give up on beautiful dinky di clean true blue Oz coal, oi, oi, oi ...

There are so many blatant lies to unpack in all that nonsense that the pond felt an overwhelming ennui, but anyone who can present fracking and shale oil as game changers in relation to emissions reductions should be given the reptiles' weekly award for 'best planet fucker scribbler' …

But enough of reptile climate science denialism. Why draw attention to it, when the bromancer is at the top of the digital page and in a state of wild hysteria himself on other matters …

The pond isn't expecting the bromancer to explain how Chairman Rupert, Nige, Boris and the rest helped break Europe's politics, though the pond will confess to being a tad perplexed by the header - why did the bromancer conflate and confuse dinkum broken British politics with those wicked continentals and their own forms of broken politics?

Meanwhile, all the Brexiters ducked for cover, left parties behind, shrugged and resigned, or helped push May off the cliff …but at least that produced a fine seasonal Rowe cartoon, with more seasoned Rowe here ...

The bromancer himself has been cheerful at the prospect of a hard Brexit, celebrating Rees-Mogg and his desire to walk away from the deal.

Who can forget the bromancer cheerfully ending a piece back in July 2018 this way, under the bizarre headline Not everyone in a panic over UK's negotiated exit from EU?

“I’m not sure the Prime Minister would see it this way but people like me and the European Research Group have helped her in her negotiations. When the EU demand further concessions she can say — look at those very difficult people I have to deal with in the House of Commons.” 
Rees-Mogg is almost astonishingly calm in the midst of a political maelstrom, he is determinedly good-natured and never seems to react to abuse with more than a smile and a shrug of the shoulders. He is an absolute British original. No other nation could possibly have produced him. And he might yet just hold the keys to Brexit, and the solution to this incredibly troubled passage in British life.

Rees-Mogg might be the solution? Ah but that was July and this is December.

Better get back to some good old fashioned, wild-eyed, hysterical panic ...

The pond was sorry to see Macron come into the story, because the pond had a matching Bell cartoon, which with the Rowe made for a fine pair featuring the white cliffs …

More Graudian and Bell cartoons here, but it's back to the bromancer for a final Macron moment ...

Of course the bromancer wouldn't mention the Chairman's love of populism, demagoguery and fear-mongering, the "irrational power of the streets" if you will, because like the other Murdochian reptiles, Dame Slap in particular, the bromancer himself occasionally shows a love for peak irrationality in the form of the Donald …

And that's where formal proceedings end, and the pond moves on to provide a couple of tidbits for hard core reptile specialists, with the first an EXCLUSIVE from a lesser member of the Kelly gang ...

For once little Johnny might be on to something. It's not about expulsion … 

In the pond's experience, religious schools want to humiliate and bully gay kids, and perhaps put them on the straight and narrow by noting how weird they are, and how badly they're in need of transformation before the fires of hell devour them …

You know, the sort of bullying bigotry of a kind you might find in a politician who fought long and hard against SSM and even made parliament vote his inbred bigotry into prejudicial law …

Yes, he's just the sort of homophobe you'd want if you want to be maddened over the religious freedom debate, aka the right to keep on explaining how poofters are sub-human and destined to eternal hellfire, unless they submit to a healing bout of conversion therapy, or as Greg Hunters call it, SOCE …

By golly, littleJohnny hasn't even started, and already the pond's been wound up by the trolling ...

It always amazes the pond, the capacity for politicians to flip the discussion. For several thousand years the Xian church has practised the politics of discrimination with admirable zealotry, yet the minute gays step out of the closet, they're accused of all sorts of crimes, with perhaps the worst "identity politics". As if putting on a frock and talking of your invisible friend while roaming the street isn't some form of identity politics ...

But see how the pond called it. Nobody wants to expel gay kids, they just want to the right to explain to kids and teachers how they don't fit into the ethos, because they're weird and alien and sub-human and not normal and perhaps in league with the Devil, and are certainly destined for hellfire … and if they can't understand that, why then, they can just be let go …

And then it was on to little Johnny defending far right positions, including but not limited to his attitude to those sub-human gays being treated as people and being allowed to marry ...

Funny how they never mention the government taxes that fund private schools so that they might pursue their institutional bigotry and homophobia. Do it on their own dime, the pond says, or tax the churches, or better still, both …

And now the going gets really tough, even for hard core lizard specialists, because the pond decided it would include nattering "Ned's" latest opus ...

Let's be honest about it. 

Nattering "Ned" must in the course of this piece explain what he intends to do about the people locked in misery in offshore islands … send them to the United States, though apparently that's not sugar for people smugglers, or to New Zealand, which strangely is a honey pot …

… or just keep them locked up, for ever because it's all too hard, and besides the mutton Dutton is a neofascist plod from the dark north who finds parliament a nuisance and delights in persecuting people, and he'll never give up, and why should "Ned" stand in his way?

The pond is still waiting for an answer from "Ned", though the pond realises the logical answer is to let asylum seekers rot in hell until the twelfth of never and hope that no one notices as they fall off the perch, drop off the twig …

Around this time the pond thought it should probably bring in a cartoon …

Well it's better than the answer that will never come from "Ned", and hasn't come from him, other reptiles or the government these past five years or more ...

So you'd prefer to keep the remaining people in indefinite hell as a warning to the wicked? 

Well, it's certainly very Catholic, but it had the pond reaching for another cartoon …

Okay, it doesn't have much to do with nattering "Ned's" waffle, but anything to get through the day, and the absence of any answer to the question: is "Ned" happy to keep people locked up in indefinite detention for the next decade, or until the twelfth of never, whichever comes first?

But it seems that in the world of nattering "Ned" gulags and cruel and unnatural punishments are the natural order of things, and so the pond reached for another cartoon about a different kind of cruel life …

The pond confesses that using cartoons is a naked and shameless and obvious device, but look, here we are at the final gobbet and with not a clue as to any solution that "Ned" or the mutton Dutton might offer, beyond maintaining indefinite detention as an eternity of meaningless gulag detention ...

That's the best "Ned" had to offer? It may or may not be time to terminate offshore indefinite detention amounting to life in a tropical prison for year after year …?

Why, and maybe he did, and maybe he didn't, have something to do with Khashoggi's murder …

Okay, it was wrong of the pond to set off on the journey, expecting some kind of answer, or perhaps even a suggestion of a solution, instead of the usual humbug, blather and fear mongering which remain "Ned's" speciality …

But there is a plus, because the pond hadn't used up its supply of cartoons, so here's a few more to wrap up the day's dose of reptile madness…