In which Polonius assures the pond there's nothing to see here, and so qualifies for a relaxing Sunday meditation ...

It was absolutely wrong to send Polonius's prattle to the Sunday meditation section of the pond …

The pond regrets it immensely.

Or should the pond? Was it so wrong?

See the peaceful message embedded in the splash, a message of tranquility, a therapeutic healing, a panacea, an elixir, a nostrum ...

Here no drama, as Chopper might once have said, no drama here ...

Dear sweet old pedantic Polonius. Of course it goes without saying that the theme doesn't run quite like that.

Everyone knows that it would take a certain number of spooked, hysterical, herded MPs of their own volition to vote in a new Captain on the Titanic … and that there seemed to be a certain number of players in the media who were keen to help with the spooking, the hysteria and the herding … and a decent bunch of these rodeo cowboys happened to be at Sky, News Corp or on 2GB.

But that's the nice thing about setting up straw arguments, it's so much easier to burn them down, with no need to pay attention to nuance and inflection … or to the calls the players made to the hapless lemming pollies or any of the other interventions made out front and behind closed doors …

Give it to Polonius, he's got the straw dog routine down pat …

Heaven and earth and Polonius are ruthless and treat the myriad politicians as straw dogs. The sage is ruthless and treats the politicians like straw dogs. Is not the space between Heaven and Earth like a Polonial bellows?

And so to apply the bellows to a harmonising cleansing, a washing of the media paws with water that would make a Pontius Pilate purr with pleasure ...

As Chopper himself might have said, nothing to see here, here nothing to see … 

You see, advertising is completely irrelevant and has absolutely no influence over purchasing decisions, consumer activities and such like, which is why advertisers waste an incredible amount of money on a completely pointless and futile exercise.

So it is with political commentators and news outlets.

They're just a bunch of eunuchs in a harem or perhaps an ancient Chinese emperor's court, and all their blather amounts to nothing. Put it another way, politicians are completely isolated from the outside world, and they neither listen to, nor pay heed to, or show any interest whatsoever in any political commentary, political commentator or news organisation. They live lives of monastic dedication far from the maddening fray ...

That's perfectly clear, and the pond knows this, because apparently Polonius fancies himself as a prattling impotent eunuch, without point or purpose or influence … not even a kind or cutting word at the Sydney Institute over a glass of very dry sherry … (though that might make a few anonymous sponsors in search of influence why they bother to spring for a decent bottle of sherry) ...

Indeed, indeed, the pond would alway think of Miranda the Devine as a considered commentator. Why hanging a greenie from the nearest lamppost is most considerate … but the pond isn't quite sure of the direction that Polonius is taking here …

Does he mean that all this squabbling about Malware's government was entirely useless, meaningless, empty vessels clanging noisily in the void, ignorant keyboard armies clashing by night, while Malware soared high above the fray, paying no attention to anything in the press, and so did all his colleagues, and so there's absolutely no point in spending money reading the reptiles for insights?  Unless it's to learn how eunuchs might behave in a brothel?

And now for Polonius's history lesson ...

Uh huh, the usual nonsense about appeaser pig iron Bob, Ming the inept, who hoped it would all go away, and acted accordingly, and sourced from the usual unreliable Polonial source, with a plug a little more explicit and shameless than usual …

Was it really only a few days ago the pond ran this clipping?

Never mind, the pond would like to remember another epic flop, the highly esteemed Stanley Bruce, who got knocked over by Hughes and some rebellious Nationalists, and then proceeded to lose his seat in the election that followed (here), thereby setting a noble precedent for little Johnny …

It is said that the straw dogs were treated with the greatest deference before they were used as an offering in a newspaper, only to be discarded and trampled upon as soon as they had served their purpose, filling up front pages to amuse the players …

Hear the chanting of the climate science denialists, listen to the reptiles rage against the dying of the coal … see how the lemmings respond …

And so to a cartoon for a breather, with the media and their creatures already gathering for the next feast, and more Moir to be found here ...

… which brings the pond to its next course, because such is the rich entertainment at the herpetarium coliseum this weekend that the pond felt the need to pit the oscillating fan up against Polonius …

Yes, here's a player rightly calling for more action, for more entertainment, and who can argue with that. Instead of Polonius trying to pour oil on troubled waters, the oscillating fan can see huge waves, enough to turn the boat turtle …

And how does the pond know that the players support this interpretation?

Why the oscillating fan was blessed with the Lobbecke, guaranteeing cult status. Compare that to what Polonius scored for his illustration …

An innocuous, hapless Malware up against fiendish rats with sharp knives?

Ah, always the optimist is our oscillating fan, though the pond was disappointed he didn't mention the obvious … that Shelley Winters had an exciting role to play in The Poseidon Adventure when that fine ship turned turtle … and lo, what did the reptiles find yesterday, but someone perhaps thinking of a starring role herself?

Oh that'll do, there's more, but that'll do for the moment …

No doubt the pastie Hastie and Jules will be talking to their media mates and stirring up trouble, and the players will in due course be taking sides, and talking about it in their columns and on bush TVs and screeching like parrots on the radio …

Perhaps already the dog botherer is a tad upset about ScoMo, and Dame Groan is moaning again about renewables and the bouffant one is pretending that a barking mad Pentecostalist speaking in tongues and sighing for the impending rapture is just an ordinary suburban dag with a bit of a bee in his bonnet, but only on a meditative Sunday …

Sheesh, so many temptations, so many delusions, so little time, but the pond has chosen the oscillating fan as its pilot and must stay the course with this player … there'll be more than enough time for the other players to have their say, and shear the sheep and herd the lemmings ...

Regicides? Malware was royalty? Reactionaries? Fringe right cultists that make Genghis Khan a leftie and Adolf a committed socialist? Oh please don't go there, everyone knows the Nazis were just commie pinko socialist preverts ...

But what of these opponents of Turnbull who are keeping up the fight?

We already know from Polonius he can only mean those within the party, because anybody commenting from outside are as impotent and as useless as a product launch for a P76 ...

Hmm, for a moment there, the pond thought the oscillating fan was going to put it this way …

And when this government does lose under Morrison’s leadership, as it surely will, what then for Sky, News Corp and the likes of the parrot and the thugby league man? Because the coup plotters and their media players didn’t succeed in pushing Dutton into the prime ministership, they will claim he could have done better.  He could have helped advise so many other people how party donations might liberate the au pairs of their dreams … 

So the lowbrow dispute will go on in opposition, as reactionaries in News Corp and other media outlets continue to argue the party needs to pitch further to the Right. The Bolter will be on hand to do his bit, but so will the dog botherer, the parrot and many other skilled sheep herders and students of the movements of flood waters in quarries, undermining structures and producing chaos …

Until their deluded vision is enacted, they won’t give up. Chairman Rupert will see to that … and once Sky conquers the bush, the cockies will march on Canberra and hurl it down and set up a new empire in Tamworth ...

Or some such thing …

If only Polonius had embraced the oscillating fan style ...

What took place on August 24 was a war, a jihad, a homicide-suicide attack. It was a decision of 45 democratically elected men and women, out of 85, to replace their leader, herded by expert players like lemmings towards the cliff, reactionaries deep into mindless delusions. And with a bit of luck there'll be more soon, because that's what's needed to sell newspapers, send Sky out into the bush, make polling essential for a fortnightly hysteria and help in the drive to the extreme right so that in due course the land might be blessed by a Trumpian vision of a new utopia. That’s all, but isn't that good enough at least for a Sunday meditation or a Saturday matinee screening?

Still the pond must end by congratulating Polonius … it takes considerable skill to come out with this line ...

The use of the word cancer is all but meaningless here. It’s much the same with wartime analogies.

And then, a little further down the page, lead with a meaningless cancerous wartime analogy ...

This was not the most dramatic leadership change in Australian history. That took place on Aug­ust 29, 1941, when Menzies (the incumbent United Australia Party prime minister) stood down after he realised he had lost the support of his colleagues. He was replaced by Country Party leader Arthur Fadden. In August 1941, Australia was at war with Nazi Germany and its allies. As wartime leader, Menzies had done much to build up Australia’s military strength after war was declared in September 1939. But the UAP had narrowly survived the 1940 election and Menzies led a minority government.

Oh the joys of a Sunday meditation, and what a joy to see Wilcox has caught the onion muncher already out and about and fixing things, in ways only he knows how to do, with more expert Wilcox observations here ...

Soon enough, coming to a reptile screen. The fixers fixing things, with the help of players fixing the fixers …