In which the Crisis in Western Civilisation shows no signs of abating, and might even be turning pinko prevert socialist ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, will it never end? There's the savvy Savva to attend to, and important news of the Donald's mighty achievements …

But the ongoing crisis in Western Civilisation still consumes the reptiles and so perforce it devours the pond's attention, and how, this day, does the pond know this?

Well it's an old reptile ploy. Get someone to write a column, and then get a worthy reptile - say the urbane Urban - to write it up, and then you get two for one, a very canny recycling, do you ken?

It takes extraordinary skill to read a column in the lizard Oz, and then regurgitate it as a news story, but the base are simple, humble folk, and incessant repetition is the name of the game, and that's why the pond loves the reptiles so ...

Poor old "Simon says" has now reached the point of "I said it, he said it, she said it, they said it" and the more the public airings of these negotiations and all the associated finger-pointing goes on, the more likely no other university will step into the ring.

Only a desperate second tier university perhaps … say the Australian Catholic University. Where is that Craven chappie?

Well to help ensure that all the dirty laundry is properly aired, the pond naturally turned to "Simon says", and right from the get go there seemed to be a problem ...

Forget Evans - let him go bomb Tasmania - but VC Schmidt wasn't in on the discussions? 

Butt, butt, Billy Goat, as the Donald showed, the only way to get a great deal is to have a master negotiator involved from the start …

Never mind, please repeat all the talking points already noted by the urbane Urban … because the pond can never get enough of the ongoing crisis in Western Civilisation …

Oh dear … attending the odd class as part of the process of "health checks"…

Moi, dissembling muchly, or perhaps bigly? 

How much easier it would have been if righteous Simon had been able to say that the last thing the Ramsay centre would have wanted to do is attend the odd class as part of the process of 'health checks', wherever the idea came from, because it hauntingly reminded them of that giant of Western Socialist Civilisation, George Orwell.

But do go on, finish up, because speaking of socialism, somehow it seems a rogue prof managed to wangle his way into the house of reptiles, and the pond must attend to him too ...

Good luck with all that, but here's a thought. Have you approached the Craven at the ACU? Surely that fits the bill of "any Australian university"?

Kind regards, the pond … and now for an eastern religion socialist bonus, though it will only appeal to specialists in the ongoing Crisis in Western Civilisation that continues to roil the reptile universe ...

Yep, some smart alec prof has come along, and is asking tricky questions … and the only thing that could make it worse is if he's come down from the deep north ...

Now listen shearer prof working for the mob that routinely shears the workers, the pond is not going to have any of your clever dick suggestions that Christianity is an eastern religion … the pond knows for a fact that both Santa and Jesus are white … Fox News told the pond so …

 

Now that the pond has settled that matter, please go on ...

Ah, the pond can see where this is heading, clever dick prof, but first since the barebones reptile version omitted that picture of a statue of Socrates in Athens, here, have a picture of a statue of Socrates in Athens, and with bonus bloody Apollo in the background ...

As if the ancient Greeks have got anything to do with western civilisation!

Yes, the pond is getting an unsettling sense that the awkward-question-asking shearing prof is hinting, with his talk of Greek roots, that maybe the ancient Greeks had something to do with Judeo-Christian civilisation, and long before the white Jesus came on to the scene …

The pond sincerely hopes that he immediately corrects this grievous thought crime … and isn't going to add to his crimes with talk of some sort of Silk Road linking civilisations, and making them interbreed in a way that ruins bodily essences ...

Say what? Marxism is just another branch of the Enlightenment?

Oh wash out your provocative mouth and say a prayer of forgiveness …

What a cheeky, naughty shearer prof you are ...

How on earth did this heretical Tor fella stumble into the reptile den? It's unforgivable really, though his job application to 'Simon says' to conduct a course on Eastern Western Civilisation has been duly noted by the pond, which wishes him all the best with it ...

And the pond forgives him his talk of Norwegian socialism, though it brought back to the pond nightmare visions of socialism rampant, and the way that caused the reptiles of Oz and the Fox folks enormous distress ...