In which Dame Slap embarks on a V2 bombing run to take out the poodle ...

Say what? Dame Slap has turned reporter, the intrepid Lois Lane of the Daily Lizard? And then, in the usual reptile way, she gets to comment on her discovery of the dirty dog's dirty deeds?

Stand aside doddery nattering "Ned", making the bold and brave assumption that Malware was ever in control, and so was in a position to lose it.

Amongst the other reptile detritus the pond has been forced to lose in its unseemly rush to check on Dame Slap?

Stand aside, ancient Lazarus, no bypass will bring you back to relevance ...

Farewell coal, everyone loves thee, though none so much as a passing reptile marvelling at your deep black eyes ...

What's that? There are fresh reports on climate science, at the Graudian here, or the Chicago Tribune here, or dozens of other papers around the world ...??!!

Oh how can these possibly compare to the heady, intoxicating sight of reptiles infatuated and madly in love with coal, and discovering to their rapture that Queenslanders, oi, oi, oi, share their diamond bright passion for pure carbon ...

But no, none of this can compare to the Dame in full flight at the top of the opinion page ...

A Liberal woman? Oh the misogynist cad ...

Now it will be remembered that the delcons harbour a rich and deep hatred of the treacherous, double dealing, two faced Janus of a poodle, who helped do down the onion muncher in a most despicable way ... oh the night they did the old onion muncher down, all the delcons were wailing.

So there was always going to be payback, if ever a chance presented itself, and the pond was always going to book a ringside seat, just to see Dame Slap savage the hypocritical hound...

Now because the pond believes in double the pleasure, double the bang for the buck, what better time to whip in Miranda the Devine, trolling the delcons?

Yep, it requires stepping around the Devine fracking the farmers in the fundament ...

See, there it is in the fine print ...

Oh she's going to troll the onion muncher and the delcons yet again ...

By golly, the Devine has called them V2-bombers, if you like, and truth to tell, the pond has always fondly thought of the onion muncher as an unguided Nazi missile ...

And come to think of it, Dame Slap seems about ready to launch herself on yet another destructive strike on the poodle, that treacherous, traitorous double dealing rat fink lurking amongst the great aunts on the verandah under the wisteria ...

24 years and not a single thing done? Nothing, nada, zip, zilch ... like an Oscar Wilde rocket ready for a drop into the mud ...

Now that's how a V2 bomber does its job. Take out a loser dropkick poodle, with clean, clinical precision ... while the Devine is somehow left with the ineffable job of defending the malingering, malfeasant, malleable Malware ...

By golly, that's a ringing endorsement of a ning nong with no political nous, and so to a final sinking of the slipper, a shivving of the blade, by Dame Slap ...

And with that Dame Slap has spoken ...

And as the poodle limps away into the night and the eternal mud, there's one last bit of the Devine trolling to enjoy as she calls out Dame Slap as a jihadist...

Uh huh ... because forsaking all your Xian principles to put a barbarian in the house has really worked out well for Xianity and the United States and the world ...

Well it's pleasing to report that the Devine's trolling successfully infuriated the readership ...

Oh steady Barry, settle down and have another splash ...

The pond could have gone on and on forever, watching as the pinheads lined up to heap abuse on Miranda, so that the pond might continue to have the onion muncher in its banner ...

But as much fun as it was - the pond loves to see Malware v. the onion muncher feuds almost as much as Dame Slap castrating the poodle or jihadist V2 bombers battling essence of vitriolic Devine - the pond simply just had to acknowledge the latest Liberal Senator's wonderful discovery of his status by running an infallible Pope, with more papal jests here ...

And now, though everybody and his poodle has probably already seen it, this ...