In which there are so many wondrous distractions the pond has barely time to focus on the fascist thoughts of Dame "Frau" Slap ...

The pond was often inclined to start off with a cartoon, but now there's a new comedy king on the Twitter block ...

Is there any irony in the way the reptiles of Oz have raged for years about the degrading impact of social media, and must now tug the forelock and bend the knee in supplication to the sublimest practitioner of the new old art of distraction?

Well no, there's much to learn ...

See how it's done down under Donald style ...

Who needs cartoonists when you've got this high level of comedy?

And speaking of crooked, deluded media, as the pond must do every day ...here's the reptiles at their best ...

Anybody who saw the last SNL sketch, with Baldwin doing full Donald U-turns of the "don't lock her up" kind will relish the sheer loonacy of Gina spruiking that Trump shows the world the way ...

And just to make sure there was proper, due balance, the reptiles trotted out the pasty hasty just below troubled old Ned, no longer the bushranger of yore ...

Now any of this is rich, ripe pond material. 

Choices, so many choices as we rush to the apocalypse, but always on a Wednesday, Dame Slap must be the winner ... as she delivers the sort of "harden the fuck up" line that might have proved useful in the second world war, and still might as the pond preps the bug out for the impending rapture ...

Yes, it's full-on, full loony time ...

That's how desperate it's become at reptile HQ - they're trying to promote a sort of social media interaction with one of their prize loons. This is the new business plan?

Getting aged, angry readers to rant at young people for daring to exercise their democratic right to protest?

Well let's see where Dame Slap goes with this ...

This from a nicely pampered poodle in the Murdochian stable, as good an example of a Mollie as might be found - you can pry her ribbons from her cold dead hooves, and so on  ...

But as we're in to teachable moments, which seem to consist of a fascist shouting down anyone in cooee with abuse, how about a little more fascism?

That story can be found in full here, along with the clip (scrolling down will be required...)

But wait, there's more ...

That opinion piece is here in full, but what's even funnier is the way that Bannon has tried to deflect the criticism ...

That gloss here, and in many other places, and the original Hollywood Reporter - politics as Satanic Darth Vader showbiz - interview here. (Just imagine if Hillary had led with Satan).

Now it will be noticed that the rhetoric - about the metrosexual bubble - is the exactly the same as Dame Slap's hate speech, and the distinction of calling himself an economic nationalist is another distraction. 

It's hard to have a conversation about Bannon without mentioning Hitler and it's impossible to discuss white nationalism without noting what appalling physical specimens Bannon, Hitler and many of the leading Nazis present as an image for the movement. Many a wise woman would rather fuck a dead wombat than get close to Bannon and attempt to breed for the cause ...

But enough of Dame Slapian jollity, because here's the ultimate irony. 

As well as being a dubious physical specimen - though possibly more handsome than Bannon, very grope-able if a woman didn't mind groping one testicle - Hitler was of course an economic nationalist, as well as a national socialist, and this leads the pond to the peculiar business of quoting a fallen idol, a long forgotten mentor to the right ...

The pond mentioning Hayek? Has the world gone totally mad?

Of course many learned academics have scribbled about the glorious days of economic nationalism ...

But this is all the fun of the fair ... the rule being that those who learn history are doomed to repeat it, because futtocks and fuckwits of the Dame Slap and Steve Bannon kind will always serve the interests of their masters ...

And so to the last gobbet of the fascist Dame Slap berating others for daring to be different ...

What the fuck? What on earth could anyone say to yet another "harden the fuck up" column from a prize fool circling out there on planet Janet, and routinely unwilling to return to earth?

Is this the reptiles business plan, and their strategy for eventually returning to profit? 

Getting people to shout at each other as if their readers were a bunch of tweeting Trumpists?

You're doomed, corrupt, lazy media, doomed, the pond and the Donald tells ya ...

Well, the pond reserves a special laugh for that Dame Slap line about resilient young men going off to fight a war against Nazi Germany, as a neo-Nazi lands in the White House, right next to the President.

Sure, he's dressed up in fancy "alt right" garb, but he's a neo-Nazi economic nationalist, nationalist socialist all the same, and with the seig heilers out and about and celebrating a few blocks down the street ...

It's possible that Dame Slap has never read Mein Kampf, it's possible that she never came across Hitler writing his endless screed about the soft and sappy underbelly of modernity, his raging at soft-hearted cosmopolitans, softies easily mislead by the Jews, his celebration of young men, their bodies turned tough as steel, or his hate of soft-soap bourgeois talk ...

It's possible, though it's more likely that Dame Slap is simply a fuckwit ...

Never mind, instead of sending off a comment to Dame Slap, please allow the pond to suggest to her a few new story angles and lines for consideration for her next column ...

    

Oh and while offering a few words from the master, here's some copy ideas for the reptiles the next time they write about Fairfax, the ABC, SBS (presumably including NITV) and the rest of it ...

By golly, there's plenty of good ideas for the reptiles struggling to turn a profit in these Trumpian times ...

But enough of all this, because these days the pond has turned to hawking cartoonist Rowe's calendar. More details here ...

It seems a small price to pay for the supplier of cartoons like these, and more such cartoons here ...