In which the pond is reassured by the reptile editorialist and prattling Polonius that everything is hunky dory providing the possum isn't stirred, or even shaken ...

Given the borrowings the pond has done over the years, it would be entirely remiss not to note that David Rowe has an Xmas calendar out this year and you can get the details at his twitter account here ...

He's off to a good start in the pond's eyes by referencing Charles Meere's Australian Beach Pattern which always pleases the pond when it heads off to the AGNSW ...

Alarmstufe rot beach goers! But enough of art and news that it's Xmas already, because the pond has a few housekeeping notes before embarking on its daily reptile dalliance ...

First to the "friend" who emailed the pond a link to the news that Malware has been forced to loan A$19.5 billion to complete the NBN, his fraudulent imitation of broadband nobody in the marketplace would touch, while the vultures circle hoping to pick up the corpse in due course for a song (not even a dance), thanks for nothing. When the pond retreats to the bunker, it does so in a state of zen calm, which nothing, not even the truth, will disturb ...

And as for the foolish prat who keeps writing in about Killary, the pond is still fervently hoping that one of the hot tips for the Donald comes off ...

Yes, with a bit of luck, soon you'll be able to sign up for the latest crusade and surge off to Iran chanting "killary, killary them all" ...

As it is, the pond has done exceptionally well with the trifecta, a good sign for a decent quadrella ...

The court is in racist sessions and security is in like Flynn ...

Now there are some snivelling, weak-kneed pussies - the pond of course refers only to the felis catus type - who go to jelly at the thought of a bit of decent regime change, but as always the pond advises them to fall in line with the reptiles of Oz ...

Funny, there was the pond thinking that democracy itself involved the right to speak out on matters, and that freedom of speech was an issue for the 18C hating reptiles. If you wanted to spend years blathering on about birtherism and such like matters, and speaking out and demonstrating, and organising birth certificate hunts, you could, and no one would talk about railing against democracy itself.'

How stupid of the pond. How quintessentially fascist of the reptiles. And so much for the speaking out that 18C supposedly inhibits. Who needs 18C to suppress speech when we have the reptiles railing about a little bit of placard waving?

As for the Donald not making a single decision, the pond supposes that technically it's correct, because three appointments are hardly a single decision...

And with that level of stupidity established in just the splashes, the pond was ripe for the reading ...

And so the normalisation effort valiantly continues ...

"Retired"? Is that how "fired" and "sacked" is spelled in this post-truth, truthiness, Trumpiness age?

Oh right, the reptiles meant "refired" as a precursor to "rehired" ...

Never mind, anyone who wants to catch up on the barking mad Flynn can find him on the full to overflowing intertubes, because the pond has other fish to fry ...

You see, as always, today is prattling Polonius day. 

If you've got a problem with the Catholic church, Polonius will give your atheist bottom a good spanking. 

And if you want a stroll through history, and emerge clutching some essential B. A. Santamaria and DLP insights, why then Polonius is your man. 

And if you utter the slightest heresy about the US alliance - so wonderful in dragging Australia into assorted wars, including 'Nam, where killary chanters were conscripted to kill - why Polonius will drag you behind the arras and set you straight ...

Oh dear, the one thing the pond learned from its time in Adelaide was that you must never stir the possum. 

Instead you must trap it and take it up in the Hills, so that outraged Hills dwellers could then trap the possum and take it back down to the Unley plain ... or some other peculiarly named place where you might bump into a Gillard ...

Now every so often the pond likes to remind the world where prattling Polonius got his name, and it comes from noble Shakespeare, who thought he was mocking an even more ancient prattler. 

But who could utter wiser words than these?

Well it was a rhetorical question, because we all know who is infinitely wiser, though perhaps just as dull, and worthy of a little time prattling behind the arras ...for verbosity certainly dulls the edge of reading ...

Indeed, indeed, Catholics, Uriah Heep, ABC, and what someone wrote in 2000 should be their fixed position for life, or at least until the twelfth of never ...which the pond always remembers as a long time ...

It's times like these that the pond realises its deep debt of gratitude to the likes of Rowe. It might even be said that the only reason for reading prattling Polonius is to enjoy a Rowe cartoon all the more ...

And now we can return in good spirits to crossing the Andes by frog with prattling Polonius ...

Indeed, indeed, everything is for the best in the best of all possible American worlds. 

The court is in sessions, the pond is in like Flynn, and soon enough all the sages will be explaining that a little regime in Iran will be just the fix the world needs ...

Well it wouldn't be a complete pond outing without a dash of papal infallibility, and as always you can get more infallible Pope japery here ... and remember, just a little time ago, you read the reptile editorialist baying at the moon and Bill Shorten for sounding like a down under Trump. 

Why, those rank amateurs are pissing into the wind up against a truly expert pissant pisspot pissweak pisser doing his best to out-piss the Donald ...