Day 9, and WTDATR torments Dame Slap ...

(And more Pope here).

It's always good to start the morning with a singalong ...

It's not easy bein' green 
Having to spend each day 
The color of the leaves 
When I think it could be nicer 
Bein' blue or yellow or gold 
Or something much more colorful like that 
It's not easy bein' green 
It seems you blend in 
With so many other ordinary things 
And people tend to pass you over 
'Cause you're not standing out 
Like flashy sparkles on the water 
Or walri in the south ... 

And a singalong's even more appreciated when the pond is confronted with an ethical issue.

Yes, every so often the pond has to deal with a deep moral problem.

For example, should one pay attention to the ramblings of the mentally disturbed, even when one of the said disturbees is published by the Terrorists, a deeply disturbed tribe of radical ratbags still posturing as a relevant tree-killer newspaper?

After all, it was entirely to be expected that Mark Latham would seize the moment to whip up enthusiasm for teh Donald.

Only someone as deeply delusional as Latham could explain how teh billionaire Trump was the man to stick it to the elites and push back against political correctness, because being a billionaire is exactly the right qualification for the common touch ... you know, like Berlusconi ...

But the painfully transparent nature of the exercise was almost immediately revealed when the Terrorists promptly published their own rebuttal, and made it the centre of their opinion stage ...

Latham a billionaire? At last the taxi drivers of western Sydney are safe then ...

It is, of course, classic click-bait trolling.

Trot out the tragically wounded, mentally disturbed man, and then get someone else on staff to sink in the steel-capped Blundstones. (Or a jab of the stiletto heel to the groin if that's your thing).

Should the pond encourage this kind of Clockwork Orange carry-on?

Probably not, it's probably better to let the Terrorists keep spiralling down into digital irrelevance.

Those who want an insight into the anger, bitterness and deep hollowness that is Latham can always resort to the twitter account Real Mark Latham, while others can marvel at the way the country dodged a bullet when, astonishingly, Latham led the Labor party ... 

It's amazing to think that anyone could make the pond celebrate John Howard, but Latham achieved that singular feat, and it will be his legacy for all eternity ...

Nope, it's better to turn to a safe pair of hands, and who better than Dame Slap. You see, it's Day nine of Tony Abbott's campaign to become Liberal opposition leader, and Dame Slap is the latest in a conga line of commentariat beset with the problem of WTDATR ...

Yes, everybody's still wringing collective hands and sighing about what to do about Tony Rudd ... and the most excellent thing about the caper is the way it allows the commentariat to slag off both Tony and Malware.

Gnarling bitterness! Why the Slap is even so bold as to hint that her lad might be insincere ...

Oh dear, the pond feels another song coming on. Those were the days my friends, those were the days ...

Perhaps it should be a more melancholy song ...

You know that feeling you get

You feel you're older than time

You ain't exactly sure

If you've been away a while

Do you keep the receipts

For the friends that you buy?

And ain't it bittersweet

You're only just getting by

But I hope you know

That it won't let go

It sticks around with you

Until the day you die

And I hope you know

That it's touch and go

I hope the tears don't stain

The world that waits outside

Where did it all go wrong?

Ah that feels better, the 1990s doing the 1960s is always a pond pleaser, and so it's back to the Dame ... because there ain't nothing like a dame, at least not since the 1950s ...

Yes, it's a wonderful pivot, and it really makes the pond feel quite redundant. 

Oh sure we might link to Fairfax publishing Laurie Patton dithering and hand-wringing in The NBN is already out of date, but it's not too late to change course, (with forced video), when in reality the NBN is already out of date, and it's way past the time when Patton should have been stomping around urging a change of course ... a change of course that will now not come because Malware is so invested in his totally useless and out-dated solution ...

Of course there's still time for a taco-led recovery ...

... I actually get very frustrated in this debate when people say it's one versus the other and the analogy that I kind of use is, you know that taco ad where you've got the girl where everyone is arguing about whether you want hard tacos or soft tacos and she turns around and she says "Well, why can't we have both?" If you look at incredible innovation hubs across the globe, whether that is in Silicon Valley, where you've got treat stuff coming out of Standford or it's in Tel Aviv where you've got high end research in the defence industries, you also have a vibrant copper start up ecosystem ... you see, you can have a fibre taco and you can have a copper taco, and you can put them together and you can have an analogy that I kinda use, which is a fibcop taco, with lots of slow mouth-warming chilli, because everyone can cop a fib by a young pup if he does it with panting, cold-nosed, tail-wagging enthusiasm ... (or some such thing here).

Oh dear, the desire to give Malware a hard time is catching, and in the process that dunderhead Stephen "great big filter for everything" Conroy is barely remembered ...

And so it's back to Dame Slap ...

Hang on, hang on...

Good grief, where did that time warp pop up from, like a long lost pop-up shop in King street? 

The pond is deeply mortified and apologetic ... here, have a cartoon and find more Tandberg here...

Of course this is the way Dame Slap ended this day ...

Yes, Malware should get to work tackling those bloody useless single mothers on welfare and doing down the pensioners ... 

Sssh, please don't mention the big end of town ... as it all bubbles along quite nicely and Dame Slap contributes to the simmering stew of feuding, fussing cats ...

And now it's time to get back to the cat-herding, and you can find more somewhat constricted Rowe here ...