In which the pond fails to get the Bolter, jolly Joe, and Maurice Newman, and sundry other Robespierre-ists ...

(Above: and more Moir here)

The pond doesn't get it, but then the pond rarely gets it.

As noted by correspondents, the Bolter had a plum pudding chance to be magnanimous, generous, great-hearted, munificent, altruistic, noble, chivalrous, benevolent and beneficent.

It would have been a suffocating, nauseating spectacle, but in a fell swoop, the Bolter would have claimed the ground of the righteous, the sanctified and the just, a true believer in a noble cause.

You know, even though I fear and loathe and despise Mike Carlton, he should not be persecuted as I was. No one deserves my fate, no matter how much they deserve it, yadda yadda, but I stand by what is right and true and proper and just.

Instead he came out with this:

So he settled for being a bigot, a humbug, a lip server, a dissembler, a casuist, a backslider and a four-flushing hypocrite.

And not content with that, he let fly at "da Jews".

Those “Jewish organisations” are two-faced. They know that using these laws against Carlton will discredit them. And so they do not use these wicked laws to defend their community, yet say nothing when those laws are used to muzzle their allies.

Oi vey, with friends like these, "da two-faced Jews" don't need any enemies.

Apparently the Bolter's noggin is so thick he simply doesn't understand he just condoned the use and abuse of that wicked law.

Hey, fundamentalists do what they do. Haters  just gunna hate.

It reminded the pond of that epic outing by George "the librarian" Brandis in The Spectator:

Today it is not the sentiment of Voltaire that moves progressives of the Left, it is the spirit of Robespierre. As the progressive Left sacrifices its liberalising instincts upon the altar of political correctness, increasingly those who champion personal freedom will find only one side of politics which shares their values. Which is as it should be, for the defence of freedom is the whole point of the Liberal party. (and there's a lot more of that yadda yadda in his piece titled A bloody Victory for Robespierres of the left, here).

Uh huh. Well that needs to be changed. Today it is not the sentiment of Voltaire that moves barking mad extreme right wing members of the commentariat, it is the spirit of Robespierre, of executions and blood and beheadings, preferably in public squares, but where not available, in Murdoch newspapers.

The same goes for Jolly Joe.

Who can understand why, having made his opening remarks about the poor and cars and petrol, he decided to double down and repeat them with an aggrieved air? It could only end in tears.

Sure enough there were experts out and about, hopping around like a knot of toads (or should that be a knob, a lump or a nest of toads?, explaining that the excise was a regressive tax, and the poor relatively experienced a harder time of it, and headlines like Poor spend most on petrol, figures show, as anger grows at Joe Hockey, Poorest 20% spend more than three times as much of their income on petrol, Australia Institute analysis reveals.

All Joe had to do - like the Bolter - was show a little empathy, but it was simply beyond him, and he kept on going on and on like an aggrieved, misunderstood, under-appreciated prat.

So instead of the gentle mockery of bloggers like the pond, Jolly Joe copped the naked mockery of the likes of Lenore Taylor in Dumb ways to sell a budget, a singalong guide for Joe Hockey, and editors recognised a way of selling papers:

The Murdochians kept Jolly Joe off the front page as best they could, and found any number of other distractions.

But even the reptiles had to acknowledge his presence in the room, and came up with a wondrous metaphor:

The government’s most senior economic minister has got Senate crossbenchers offside as well as facing renewed criticism from his partyroom over his handling of the government’s first budget. “It’s like walking into dog poo, ignoring everyone and insisting on walking into every room,’’ said one of his colleagues. 
The colleague added there was serious chatter about the Treasurer’s capacity and approach. The government is struggling to secure backing to increase the excise on fuel twice a year by the rate of inflation to raise about $2.2 billion over four years. The rate was frozen by the Howard government at 38.1c a litre 13 years ago. (Coalition doubts spread over Joe Hockey's budget sales job, behind the paywall because there has to be a limit to the dog poo)

The dog poo man, spreading dog poo where he can.

Even the Terror had to acknowledge the Twitter and the meme frenzy in Australia can't stop laughing at Hockey.

That and more here.

Even the reptiles took to calling Jolly Joe an out-of-touch chauffeur-driven prat, and dug up another Hockeyism, here:

The statement capped a rattled performance from Mr Hockey, who also took aim at pensioners: “You know there is some irony in that pensioners pay over $360 for their pharmaceuticals each year and when we ask for $70 to visit the doctor, if they have 10 visits, then the ­suggestion is, somehow, that’s unfair.”

So they pay a small fortune for their pills, so they can afford another small fortune getting the doctors to write the scripts?

It's all extremely unfortunate and it makes life really difficult for the reptiles.

Why they had to dig out their chief knob polisher and forelock tugger and Brasso-powered scrubber to restore a little shine:

It was an epic effort, but at the same time, it was so grudging and half-hearted and based on realpolitik issues that it seemed even the chief knob polisher was tiring of the job of picking up the poo:

As Hockey goes from train wreck to car wreck and makes a bad budget situation worse, it is inevitable there will be calls for Hockey to go....
But any thoughts of shuffling off Hockey invite political suicide. The Prime Minister has no choice but to forge ahead with the budget and the treasurer that he has. Although the government continues to lose the media war on the budget, Abbott can’t afford to ditch structural reforms without at least fighting and negotiating for them. 
It’s true that dramatic action is needed to break the cycle of self-destruction, but a mini-budget that would disown all the hard work and pain of the first budget has sensibly been ruled out. 
The idea of replacing Hockey with Malcolm Turnbull or Scott Morrison in the short term is equally disastrous. 
Certainly, Hockey has gone from the “heir apparent” to Abbott in his biography No Ordinary Joe to a very ordinary Joe who now relies on the Prime Minister for his survival. But Abbott has no choice but to keep Hockey where he is. 
Abbott has to switch his focus from national security to economic growth by boosting Hockey’s confidence and addressing bread-and-butter issues.  
Perhaps such a switch calls for dramatic action that blots out Hockey’s poor performance without damaging the budget bottom line. 
Dumping paid parental leave for another two years perhaps?

Oh noes, not the PPL ... not the baby out with the bathwater.

And how did Shanahan come to this unhappy pass?

Well if you translate the piece, what the bouffant one is saying is that Joe is hopeless and has done a hopeless job, but he's all Abbott has got, and that's a very ordinary Joe, and however you look at it, it's a disaster. It's a disaster if he goes, and thus far, it's a disaster because he's stayed, and somehow the head coach needs to get him back out on the field ... while hiding him somewhere in the field so no one will pay attention to the Treasurer of the Federal Government of Australia. Somewhere in the back pocket is apparently the preferred term down Essendon way ...

Even the anonymous editorialist at the Oz, in touch with the chief paranoid and taking down his innermost thoughts, seem to have given up on Jolly Joe:

In a radio interview yesterday, Mr Hockey lazily reached for another ill-thought fiscal metaphor; the country is like “a patient that has early signs of cancer”. No wonder his ailing budget marketing effort is on life support. (here)

With friends like this, oi vey, who needs enemies?

And that's before the pond even contemplates John Hewson dishing it out for the Fairfaxians, and sundry others piling into and onto Jolly Joe. He's everyone's piñata, except the poodle Pyne, who found a few kind words for him. But that just reminded the pond to carry a plastic bag,

What else?

Well surely the funniest headline yesterday had to be US administration and Tony Abbott have 'meeting of minds' on climate change.

Daniel Russel, the senior official for the Asia-Pacific region in the US State Department, was involved in the talks and said the two governments had ''a good discussion of non-traditional security threats, among which is climate change''. 
''The conversation was predicated on the reality of global warming,'' he said, dismissing any hint that the Abbott government might be in denial on the subject. 
''It was not a theological debate. It was an information exchange.'' 
He described it as ''a very practical, forward-looking conversation'' on the matter.

Yes, yes, yes, the government's chief business adviser is a very practical man, and the last thing you'd call whipping up hysteria about a cold snap resulting in the end of the world as we know it, a form of apocalyptic theological thinking.

So once again, while politicians mouthed pleasantries, the ratbag denialist reptiles set the real tone of the debate, with others aghast and agog - with Newman recycled by the Fairfaxians here, and given a drubbing in The Graudian here.

What a happy comments hit fest for the Graudian.

What's truly astonishing is that the Abbott government can keep on having chats about the reality of global warming while pretending there's no elephant in the room - the rampant denialism and hysteria of the man who routinely signs off as their chief business adviser, and who finds a natural home amongst the rampant denialism of the reptiles at the lizard Oz.

The pond doesn't get it, but there's so many things the pond doesn't get.

What else?

Well this very day, there's that foolish David Kemp scribbling furiously for the reptiles in Liberal dismay over 18C, behind the paywall because there's dismay in Murdoch la la land at recent company performance.

Ah, we're back full circle:

The great triumph of liberal thought was that it showed the way to an alternative society in which all were governed by the same laws — had equal rights and equal responsibilities — and where the heat of free debate and personal responsibility led to a ­society based on mutual respect.

Mutual respect? What a foolish fop ...

Why it's hate, hate, hate, all the way, kill and maim and destroy Mike Carlton:

Despite claims from some members of the government, it is obvious that there is a very broad base of support for amending 18C that stretches across the political spectrum and the responsible media. The task is to win the debate, not quit the field.

Sorry Dave, the pond is going to have to stare into the red light, and change that a little:

Despite claims from some members of the government, it is obvious that there is a very broad base of support for using and abusing 18C that stretches across the political spectrum and the irresponsible hate filled Robespierre-ists of the far right wing media. The task is to persecute Mike Carlton and anyone else that can be found, not quit the field.

The pond doesn't get it, but there are many many things the pond doesn't get.

There is however one thing the pond does get. Jolly Joe Hockey is the long absent lord's ongoing gift to cartoonists, such as David Rowe, and as always, more Rowe here. 

(And just who is that man riding the cow into town? And what is he doing with that tail? Where's the dog and the poo Mr Rowe? So many things to get ...)