Vanity, saith the preacher, it'll get you every time ...

Pathetic, wasn't it?

Could anyone match the man in being a pathetic, preening, egotistical narcissist, always front and centre when it came to the publicity snap?

Fiddle faddle, lordy lordy la di dah, that was nothing. 

Step back, we have a new contender:

Um that's a little wide, and he's standing there in such a gormless way. 

Can we zoom into a close up?

Oh that's nice, very tasteful, with the greatest possible good taste, and with a patriotic tinge, what with the flag and the coat of arms and all, and never mind the hint of a monolith. 

But it's lacking a little je ne sais quoi. Can we have a personal touch?

Oh that's good, 1950s decor, Ming the merciless on the wall, a few personal touches, and head bowed, as if in humility and 'umble, ever so 'umble prayer.

But let's not forget we're dealing with a man of action. 

Can we cue 'man of action' shots please?

Good, good, he's digging up the country and shipping it abroad, and saving it from the filthy refugees, and don't you worry about things like the rather small and shrinking lesser barrier reef.

But let's not forget, he's a man of the people. He loves to pose with people, and exude warmth and sincerity. 

Can we have a little sincerity? And don't forget the children. Remember, he's always thinking of the children:

Excellent. A real man of the people. 

And the children.

Who loves to dig up things and ship them abroad, and if that means the minor lesser barrier reef, well  you can't get a custard without breaking a few eggs, and fuck the children, they'll just have to live with it...

What's that you say? People are a little worried about the environment? For the children?

Quick, quick, remind them that our man is a top notch man. Who loves teh children.

Why, when it comes to tree hugging, and tree planting, and tree caring - always with the children, he loves the children - our man makes Tolkien look like a rank amateur.

No, no, no, he doesn't spend all day planting trees with children. Let's not forget he's a leader of men, and the stray passing woman. 

He stands out in a crowd of sheep, forthright and principled. He's a leader, a firm dominant alpha male, who when relaxing likes a lycra-clad lifestyle. 

Oh that's a bit severe isn't it? He seems to be in charge of a wretched bunch of no hopers. Losers and drop kicks in suits.

Perhaps we should go back to him being a man of the people?

And now, please, can we have a prediction of things to come from this man of the people, this leader of men, and the odd stray woman, this action man who makes Action Jackson seem like a cartoon figure.

What a tremendous agenda, and so much room to chart all the ongoing fuck ups. Can we leave even more room?

What a splendid display of narcissism. Thanks to the wonders of modern government and diligent use of taxpayers' funds, you can get your copy here in pdf format.

The pond's heart goes out to the gormless hacks in the PM's department who had to put it all together. Sure, it's earning a living, and Xmas is not the time to be out on the streets with not a dime in the pocket, and it's more honest than working for the Stasi. But it must be heart-breaking, back-breaking, soul destroying work, the mental equivalent of being down very deep in the mines in the dark, inhaling mental carbon monoxide ...

But stay, what's that you say? 

Even the reptiles at the lizard Oz couldn't help themselves? Even they mocked Jesus Christ as he rode his ass through the streets waving to all and sundry?

Tony Abbott likes to present himself as more of a team player than his predecessor, Kevin Rudd, but readers of his "first 100 days" glossy brochure could be forgiven for thinking he's a one-man band. Abbott followed the example set by Rudd in heralding his first 100 days by releasing a brochure espousing his government's achievements, in this case subtitled 'Delivering on our Plan'. It's true that the taxpayer-funded booklet -- which at 28 pages is half the size of Rudd's self-promotion -- does contain two photographs of him laying down the law to his cabinet colleagues. But that's two out of 13 pictures. All the rest are of Abbott, except for one exception: a picture of his writing on the bill to axe the carbon tax, reading, "This is my bill to reduce your bills", signed Tony Abbott. Who is shot with the senior officer of a Customs vessel? Abbott. With mining workers? Abbott. With engineering workers, greengrocers, school kids, and planting a tree? Abbott. (In the latter case, it looks suspiciously like he was accompanied by Environment Minister Greg Hunt, but it's hard to be sure because the frame cuts off half of Hunt's face.) The brochure ends with a section called "Over the Next 12 Months" and just so the reader does not think Tony's running out of ideas, the last page has a note: "This page has been intentionally left blank." (here, behind the paywall)

Yes even the lizards mocked and laughed at the one man band, action man efforts of this preening coxcomb, this foolish dandy, this conceited pretentious fop, so impressed by his own accomplishments, and yet in reality and in the real world, with so little to show.

“Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher; 
“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
...I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; 
and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind. 
What is crooked cannot be made straight, 
And what is lacking cannot be numbered.

Now any final thoughts?