@#&$#@$ Amateurs ...

(Above: David Rowe, just because we love it. More Rowe here)

It is, if the pond can shorten a little the wretched title to Stanley Kramer's wretched and long forgotten movie, a mad, mad world.

There's Tony Abbott accusing a female journalist of wanting to mount a testosterone feud, when in reality she was merely asking questions.

Yes, he did, even as the apparently testosterone-laden Leigh Sales failed to land a feather on him:

TONY ABBOTT: Why are you using loaded language, Leigh? You're using loaded language all the time. 
LEIGH SALES: You don't think "stop the boats" is loaded? 
TONY ABBOTT: No, no, stopping the boats is something that surely you all - we all want to do. I mean, you'd like to stop these boats, Leigh, surely. 
LEIGH SALES: What do you see as the loaded language when I'm basically quoting what the Indonesian Government has said? 
TONY ABBOTT: No, no, you said that we had somehow buckled. I mean, you're trying to turn this into a testosterone contest. Well, I'm not interested in a testosterone contest; I'm interested in stopping the boats. (more Humpty Dumpty madness here)

The notion that Tony Abbott could get agitated about "loaded language" had the pond throwing Jaffas at the screen, and a jolly good night was had by all.

Will he ever be able to move beyond three word slogans? Probably not. But he might keep turning up on the ABC now, knowing that jolly Joe Hockey defanged Sales and made it safe for Tony ...

And then there was the astonishing sight of Tony Abbott claiming that the Labor party is acting like the Tea Party.

Speaking, as we do all the time here at pond, of the deplorable use of loaded language.

Yes, he did, yes, he did, as you can read in Labor like Tea Party on debt limit, says Tony Abbott.

“On December 12, Australia will be in breach, unless we get this legislation passed, and now it seems that Bill Shorten and his cohorts want to act like the Tea Party in Washington and bring on some kind of crisis for our country,” Abbott told the Seven Network.

Of all the godforsaken meaningless comparisons and rhetorical tricks, this surely takes the cake, and not just because for year upon year, Abbott offered up confected rage about a debt crisis which didn't exist.

Speaking, as we love to do in the pond, of the deplorable use of loaded language.

And then there was the news that Cardinal Pell,  Abbott's spiritual mentor, had copped criticism for minimising and trivialising child abuse in the Catholic church:

The Catholic Church's "institutional failure" to respond appropriately to child abuse extends from parish priests to its leader in Australia, Cardinal George Pell. 
The Victorian parliamentary inquiry into child abuse took Cardinal Pell to task in its report over his attempt to separate the church as a whole from the actions of senior religious figures it said had "minimalised and trivialised" the issue. 
In a swipe at Cardinal Pell's evidence, its report said that following repeated questioning he agreed some bishops and religious superiors had covered up the issue. 
 "That is quite different from the whole church ... the whole church is not guilty of that," he told the inquiry.
The parliament's Family and Community Development Committee concluded Cardinal Pell's response revealed "a reluctance to acknowledge and accept responsibility for the Catholic Church's institutional failure to respond appropriately to allegations of criminal child abuse". (Abuse inquiry puts Cardinal George Pell in spotlight, behind the paywall because chairman Rupert is desperate)

And yet on Pell ploughs on, shrugging it off like a snapping turtle. If he'd been a CEO, he'd have been out the revolving door so fast it would have given him a good thump on the behind ... instead what do we cop?

Pell welcomes critical report.

Welcomes!? Now there's a man with the hide of a rhino and the cheeky insouciance of an elephant and a taste for the cilice.

Absolutely no shame, no shame at all.

And speaking of shame, the pond, by one of those coincidences in life happened to catch the farewell to former Chairman Rudd live.

Well it wasn't actually by chance - the ABC happened to be running the most gormless quiz show they'd produced in living memory, so to fill in the time required for a cup of team, the pond switched to 24, and watched live the most abject narcissist of his day depart the scene in a flurry of sobs.

It was a pitiful spectacle, and we'll say no more about it, except to award Malcolm Turnbull the prize for the most mealy-mouthed and pathetic speech, a speech which suggests to the pond that whatever deluded Prime Ministerial ambitions he might conceal about the body, he'll never make the cut (and the same might be said for Tanya Plibersek, who failed to rise to the challenge of sounding remotely interesting).

But let's leave aside the funeral speeches - modern parliamentarians really should be made to read Julius Caesar at least once a year - and let's turn to Tony Abbott.

In a bid to find something to say about Rudd that was positive, Abbott came up with the apology to the stolen generation as his trump card, and asserted that the Ruddster had more imagination and generosity than John Howard on the matter, which was true, but then he also said that everyone on his side of the house was right behind him in relation to this memorable speech.

As bold as Pellist brass.

And that's when the pond got out the Jaffas to hurl at the screen again.

What a short and long term memory loss Abbott suffers from.

Let's give credit where credit was due.

Sophie Mirabella denied the existence of a Stolen Generation and boycotted the apology. She was one of five Liberals who didn't attend, though there were others who behaved outrageously.

The others were Wilson Tuckey, Don Randall, Alby Schultz and Dennis Jensen, who all avoided attending the chamber.

Then there were the ones who behaved in an unseemly way:

In the Senate, NSW Senator Concietta Fierravanti-Wells also “abstained” from the vote on the apology, which was carried on the voices and did not involve a formal division where MPs vote was recorded. 
SA Senator Cory Bernardi supported the apology but later gave a speech stating he felt “no guilt” for what happened in Australia’s brief history and complained he had been “set upon by a gang of Aboriginal youths” as a teenager at the Adelaide beachside suburb of Glenelg. 
Victorian Liberal Chris Pearce attended but also drew criticism for his decision to remain seated during a standing ovation at the end of the apology and for reading during the proceedings. 
Mr Tuckey, who loudly recited the Lord’s prayer before walking out of parliament before the apology commenced, confirmed today he was among up to five Liberal MPs who boycotted the event. 
“I am not in this house for tokenism. I went down there and prayed for those people. I put in my mind a prayer for those who seriously need help but I heard nothing today that is going to do that,’’ he told said. 
Victorian Liberal MP Sophie Mirabella condemned the apology as divisive. 
“It sickens me that two year old aboriginal children are still being diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases. Others are being removed from their environment for their own safety,’’ she said last night. “Unfortunately this is not a new phenomenon and many children in the past had been removed for their own protection. 
The protection of children is more important than anyone's political agenda, including Prime Minister Rudd whose own staff led a back-turning campaign in Parliament House today when Brendan Nelson was speaking in support of the sorry motion. (Lib MP denies stolen generations exist)

Well she won't be missed, she got what she deserved, but some would say it wasn't nearly enough, but it's worth remembering - since Abbott seems to forget - what a toxic bunch of vile actual Tea Partiers can still be found lurking in the Liberal party.

While Mirabella might be gone, her spite and bile her final reward, sad to say the likes of Bernardi and Jensen remain in the house.

And yet Abbott had the cheek, the gall, to go all misty eyed about the Stolen Generations' apology, and claim his side were right on board.

Could the Liberal party manage to make a toxic political spectacle out of what should have been an apolitical, bipartisan gesture? Yes they could ...

And then if that wasn't enough, it seems that The Australian has said that Twitter is ruining journalism.

Yes, they did, they did, in Lost in the Twitterverse (behind the paywall so you never need to know or care), which seems designed to prove that luddites are n charge of the rag.

What on earth does their technology editor do on days like that? Bury head in sand, or bray like a donkey?

Of course the wags at Crikey had a field day publishing an assortment of tweets from lizard Oz journalists, twittering away inanely.

But the bigger point surely is that the reptiles at the lizard Oz, and other Murdochian papers, had ruined journalism long ago.

You see, you won't get the hacks emphasising this sort of story: Australia is on track for its warmest ever year, says study.

Now which denialist can they drag out of the woodwork to skew their reporting in a way that puts to shame any distortion you might find in a Twitter quip.

Is there a Tim Florin in the house? Can someone call in reformed denialist Bjorn Lomborg for a little more uncertainty and doubt as to what to do?

By this point the pond was reeling at the madness of it all, but wait, could there be a further blow lurking amongst the Fairfaxians?

Why yes, because today is Field Marshall Grum Paul "magic water" Sheehan day, and how proud he was, beaming with pride at the vision he saw in Canberra:

At 74, Howard looks slim and chipper. He still has skin in the game. Abbott once famously described himself as ''the political love child'' of John Howard and Bronwyn Bishop, a frightening prospect to many people. The progeny of this hypothetical union has turned out to be very sturdy. Abbott has fought from being someone no one, including himself, thought was going to be leader of his party, to an accidental leader, to Prime Minister with a thumping majority. Looking over this transformation is Bronny, resplendent on her Speaker's throne, and Howard, filled with a father's pride. (here)

Kero Bronny resplendent?

Well you wouldn't expect "Magic Water" Sheehan to brood about parliamentary language, but it was too much for the pond, like gorging on fairy floss at the Tamworth show, and then getting on the octopus for a scarifying ride.

There's only one certain result from that sort of over-indulgence, and a wave of nausea swept through the pond's stomach ...

But there was a little compensation.

First Dog enjoyed Bronwyn "kero" Bishop making a goose of herself on her first day in a way that cheered up the pond no end - can we ever get too much of Sophie Mirabella? - and you can get more First Dog here: