Praise the lord and pass the invisible nitrous gas, all is well in News denial land ...

It's good news all the way at News Corp, and the Daily Terror is on the case thanks to the fifth Viscount Ridley, yet another Lord given the burdensome job of lightening the bushfire gloom down under.

Give thanks!

But wait, on your way out, please don't forget to collect your free ice, courtesy the reptiles of the lizard Oz:

The last we checked the Terror felt so strongly about its Ridley piece, recycled from the wretched Spectator Colonial Edition, that it had placed it outside the "lite" bamboo paywall,  under the joyous header Let's all give thanks to global warming.

It turns out that Ridley is a magnum terribly full (forget that bloody cup half full), and he starts his tour of all the usual denialist literature with a fine flurry of floozies:

Climate change has done more good than harm so far and is likely to continue doing so for most of this century. This is not some barmy, right-wing fantasy; it is the consensus of expert opinion. Yet almost nobody seems to know this. 
Whenever I make the point in public, I am told by those who are paid to insult anybody who departs from climate alarm that I have got it embarrassingly wrong, don't know what I am talking about, must be referring to Britain only, rather than the world as a whole, and so forth. 
At first, I thought this was just their usual bluster. But then I realised that they are genuinely unaware. Good news is no news, which is why the mainstream media largely ignores all studies showing net benefits of climate change. And academics have not exactly been keen to push such analysis forward. So here follows an article on the net benefits of climate change.

Consensus of expert opinion?

It is of course a brazen, naked, shameless lie. The pond is unaware of a consensus of expert opinion that asserts that climate change has done wonders for the health of the world's oceans, or the creatures that live within it, or feed off it ... (and you might even look to the seas for the source of some of the exceptional heat troubling the east coast of Australia, see at the bottom of Heat to Stay)

As for the rest? Well it turns out that Ridley is Lomborg on optimistic steroids, and you might find you need a couple of gentle laxatives. Try The Rational Optimist: Matt Ridley's Regurgitation of Denialist Propaganda, and John Abraham Slams Matt Ridley for Climate Denial Op-Ed in Wall Street Journal, and if the problem persists, just google Ridley's name.

Of course there's a more "whole of body" solution.

Do you still contribute in any way, shape or form to the Murdoch empire, whether by Foxtel or newspapers or such like? Ever considered cutting back, reducing consumption, cutting subscription costs? Truth is, read garbage going in, and of course you'll need a laxative going out.

Meanwhile, you have to read below the headline Record winter ice cover in Antarctica - the reptiles at the lizard Oz have also put the good news outside the paywall - to catch a few caveats to the good news. You see, acting according to their master's voice, Matthew Denholm makes sure to muddy the waters in his opening par:

Winter sea ice cover in the Antarctic has grown to its largest extent since satellite records began in the late 1970s, defying most climate models and muddying the waters of the global warming debate.

Naturally you have to presume there's an ongoing debate, and global climate scientists, engaged in a vast conspiracy, are talking through their collective UN black helicopter hats.

But then sadly, Denholm actually talked to someone, and they didn't see the mud:

Some fear the findings may fuel climate-change scepticism, given that sea ice is said to be the "canary in the coalmine" of global warming. 
However, experts in the field warn the increase in Antarctic sea ice extent is far outweighed by the decline in sea ice in the Arctic. 
"You add the two together -- a strong decline in the Arctic and the weakly positive increase in the Antarctic -- then you're still getting a strong net decline globally," said Guy Williams, sea ice specialist with the Hobart-based Antarctic Climate and Ecosystems Co-operative Research Centre. 
"It's a common myth and should be dispelled: that if sea ice disappears one season in the Arctic it magically reappears in the next season in the Antarctic. That couldn't be further from the truth. They are two completely different (climate) systems, responding to (global) warming in different ways." 
A growing body of research suggests the main reason for the increase in Antarctic sea ice is an increase in the force of polar winds. It shoves the sea ice together, causing ridging and creating thicker, longer lasting ice and promoting sea ice growth.

Never mind that Denholm reveals his opener sounds like it was written by a muddle-headed wombat.

As for the actual science, instead of relying on the reptiles at the lizard Oz, why not head off to NASA,
and its page Antarctic Sea Ice Reaches New Maximum Extent, published way back on 1st October, with neat graphs and handy links to additional literature.

You might, if you then click on the home page, find yourself delving into some fascinating material devoid of ideology, or mindless cheering on of climate warming ... and think of the sub to the reptiles you'll save ...

Take a look, for example, at the satellites picking up on the sea fishing going on in the Atlantic, here, and then have a read of 'The ocean is broken' as a chaser ...

What else to say? Well plenty of others have noted that Tony Abbott is too dumb to realise just how dumb he sounded having a go at Christiania Figueres, and just how much he echoes the denialist line.

How a man can assert climate change is real, but then deny that this changed climate might have an impact is one of the greater mysteries, but then this is a man who believes in angels, spirits, ghosts, the Devil, and other mumbo jumbo, so after understanding transubstantiation, talking through your hat must be a doddle ...

The upside? Well Abbott has drawn international attention to his denialism, but he's probably too dumb, xenophobic and parochial to realise it ... (Tony Abbott says UN climate head is 'talking through her hat' about fires).

The funniest sight? The anon editorialist at granny huffing and puffing about Abbott in an editorial Abbott simmers but global warming can't be dismissed while state burns.

They knew he was a denialist when they urged the population to vote for him just a couple of months ago.

If Abbott is dumb, then what does that say about the dumber dummies at the Herald?

Yes, as promised, it's all the fun of the fair, and let's not forget the incredible swifties currently being pulled by jolly Joe Hockey, which has left all sorts of people gasping in admiration, as you can read in Joe Hockey morphs from fiscal Scrooge into Santa (forced video at end of link)

You have to admire the complete shamelessness of it all. The pond would buy a used economy from jolly Joe in a trice, but would flinch a little at the thought of buying a used car ... he'd wind back the odometer just to make you feel good about the numbers ...

But there is good news today. Bob Carr has decided to take a powder and disappear, and so his epic battle to ruin the infrastructure of NSW, and do nothing while acting as nightwatchman on foreign affairs, has at last come to an end.

When people tote up the false steps of the Gillard government, many look to her refusal to take a bold step on gay marriage, or her punishing of single mothers, but the pond will always plump for her appointment of Bob Carr, up there with the Ruddster's attempt to bring back Peter Beattie.

As with any upside, there's always a vicious downside. It's impossible to imagine the nausea generated from sharing many of the sentiments of generally grumpy Paul Sheehan as he gave the departing Carr a farewell spray in Cynical departure sends his reputation up in smoke (forced video at end of link)

No doubt Carr would love to see his departure the way Bismarck was farewelled in The Punch:

Which reminds the pond of this riff by Steve Bell, to be found here:

Sadly Bob Carr cops David Pope, or more to the point, Pope cops Carr with an Oates joke:

Don't forget to shut and bolt the tent flap ...

And finally, if you haven't had your climate denialist stomach filled to the brim, as full as a goog, you can always rely on the Bolter, head of the Murdochian Denialist Unit, whipping up a fair old froth, foam and fury in ABC's preaching not based on fact (outside time of writing because these days they give the Bolter away for free, and he's over-priced at that).

The piece purports to be about the ABC, and takes yet another shot at the ABC copping $10 million, mainly to set up a fact checking unit.

The very notion of the ABC doing fact checking has enraged the Murdochians for months, but the opening shot the Bolter fires itself deserves a little fact checking:

The Gillard Government died broke yet could still toss one last biscuit to its pet media outlet. 
On its deathbed it gave the ABC an extra $10 million, mainly to create a - ho, ho - Fact Checking Unit.

The Gillard government didn't die broke, as shown by jolly Joe pissing money against the wall and into the pockets of the Reserve Bank (which has never really explained the sordid activities arising from its desire to export plastic currency to the world, though Frank Zappa would have been delighted by plastic people flogging plastic notes).

And the ABC presents a different story regarding the "$10 million":

Gnarled Sydney Institute pedant Gerard Henderson writes in his Sydney Morning Herald column today that the ABC received “$10 million” to set up its fact-checking unit. Not so, say ABC sources who were quickly on the blower to explain the broader context. The money was spread around to create the National Reporting Team, recruit a freedom of information editor and fund some other, yet-to-be-finalised initiatives. The “first wave” went to the fact-checkers but also to Aunty’s new regional offices, including Ipswich, Geelong and Parramatta. In any case, Russell Skelton and his crack fact-checking team benefited by far less than the headline amount. (here)

Hendo and the Bolter! Now there's two predictable peas in the pod. Lies in the guise of shameless ideological rhetoric.

Anyhow, after that opening salvo, the Bolter goes into full denialist mode, replete with the usual flurry of adjectives - jihad for the global warming faith, simply clownish, disgraceful, small but powerful group has captured the corporation, poor zealots, professional alarmist, global warming scare, alarmists, chatterers, preaching, warming scare - and so on and so forth, a flecking and a foaming fury ...

It's a form of professional hysteria, all designed to back up Tony Abbott and prove that everything is fine - if you think being shocked outraged and hysterical is fine - and the piece and its tone makes for an ironic juxtaposition to John Watson's musing on how Culture of hysteria hijacks our language.

Bad title Mr Watson. It should have been how the Bolter, News Corp, and Tony Abbott and mob have hijacked the culture with endless talk of emergencies, crises and conspiracies ....

Sadly, the Bolter can't help himself. Everything is a conspiracy, including the ABC, and that conspiracy includes anyone who dares to suggest climate science might actually be credible and verifiable.

What to do? Well you can't argue with a true believer like the Bolter.

That's like trying to persuade a Catholic that transubstantiation is talking through your hat ...

No, all you can do is invoke First Dog, and if you want irony, re-read this piece from 2009, Finally, a News Corp conservative with climate-change sense (may be paywall affected). 

More First Dog here: