Take the whole bloody lot of them off the couch ...

(Above: a question asked and a petition mounted, here).


The pond only lasted a few minutes into the ABC's Q and A before switching off.

There was a sensible question from the floor, noting that Howard Sattler had copped a sacking for his performance and asking what sanctions might be taken in relation to News Ltd hack Piers Akerman appearing on the ABC.

Oh there was much smirking, and schoolboyish waving of the hands, and nothing to do with me, and waiter could we have a bowl of water for an obligatory washing of the hands, but nothing more ...

Earlier the pond had made it through Media Watch, perhaps because it only runs fifteen minutes, but perhaps also it requires of itself some critical distance.

The show also tackled the issue of Piers Akerman - you can read the transcript here - and the ducking and weaving that saw The Insiders take a clip off YouTube, but again there was no mention of Akerman being suspended from the show, no mention at all. The question wasn't even raised.

It seems a man judged by host Barrie Cassidy as being as pathetic as Howard Sattler - his words, not the pond's - as pathetic as Howard Sattler, and doing exactly the same thing as Sattler, spreading rumours by way of disingenuous witterings, will be rewarded with ongoing membership of the ABC's chattering classes.

Jonathan Holmes noted that nobody will get the sack from Macquarie Radio for being rude to the Prime Minister - this Prime Minister anyway.

Et tu, ABC, et tu ...

But at least Jonathan Holmes did round up a gaggle of first class loons - with David Koch leading the way, but challenged by the bizarre Brian Wilshire and the eternally squakwing parrot - and he did remind us of one eternal truth:

Piers, this notion that you’re not a member of the chattering classes is weird. That’s how you make your living. Chattering. Chattering. Chattering. And then, in this case, denying what you’ve said...

Indeed, but there's no reason to listen to or read this vexing, idle chatter from a wretched perpetual motion chatterer, and there's even less reason for it to turn up on the ABC, even allowing for the pleasure of seeing him caught with his spoon in the jam.

Meanwhile, it comes as no surprise that the media world is shrinking, as noted in another Media Watch story, Fairfax sends jobs off shore.

Fairfax is saving money, at the risk of alienating the staff that survive, and the customers too.

Indeed and the pond has recently been on the receiving end of plaintive online begging letters.

Click on a few Fairfax stories in a row and you are likely to cop this sort of sombre-charcoal edged plea (screen cap only):

Now to save a stray reader clicking to enlarge the text, it says "We noticed you're a regular SMH reader and thought you may like to learn about the digital subscriptions we're introducing soon. We'd like to show you a brief video that explains it."

Sorry, team Fairfax, you see the pond has a problem.

If anyone was ever able to produce any evidence whatsoever that a single cent of its subscription had gone to support chattering people like Paul Sheehan, the pond couldn't live with itself.

It would be insupportable, intolerable.

And besides, there's plenty of other fish in the sea, both for news and for bilious right wing chattering opinions ... So no, the pond doesn't want to learn about the digital subscriptions you'll be introducing soon.

At least not until you outsource Paul Sheehan's job to either an Indian or a Filipino call centre ...

And to be fair, it's not just Sheehan, it's people like prattling Polonius who routinely turns up on a Tuesday to chatter, often to inanely abuse inner urban and other elites, presumably scribbled or typed up at his inner urban elitist institute.

Yes Gerard Henderson is at it again in Assange's acts of defiance have narcissistic edge.

Since we seem to be in the turf of psychiatric analysis, with narcissism tossed around and not a single mention of prime, smirking, narcissistic former chairman Rudd, is it wrong to observe that Gerard Henderson seems to have an obsessive compulsive interest in Julian Assange which reaches quite bizarre and weird depths?

Henderson even uses the matter of Edward Snowden to take another long pot-shot at Assange.

Weird enough, and soon enough the buzzing bees emerge from the old noggin:

During the Cold War, most citizens understood that communist totalitarianism was a threat to Western societies. Today, the evidence indicates that most citizens in the West accept that Islamist terrorism is a fact of life and that, in such a situation, some individual rights will be curtailed and some secrecy enforced to protect society. 

Well actually no. The pond is fiercely anti-Islamic (and fiercely anti-Catholic and fiercely anti-Scientology and fiercely anti-Calathumpian for that matter) but the notion that the current behaviour of the Obama administration is that much different than the Communist party's behaviour in China deserves some serious examination.

Not to be found in the 'four legs good' rhetoric of our prattling Polonius.

He just takes it all as right and proper, braying 'two legs bad' and thinking it constitutes an argument. That and trip back to Cold War days in the 1950s ...

But what about the tools? What about the effectiveness of deep data mining, and intruding into privacy on the basis that if you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear?

Because there is scant evidence that the trawling through immense amounts of data has produced any kind of effective anti-terrorist results, though vague claims are made, with a wave of hands in the air and "it's confidential, don't ya know".

There is every possibility for example, that this bit of the pond, for daring to mention Islamics, fundamentalists, bombs, terrorists and plots, as well as prattling Polonius, might well trigger a few flags and end up on the desk of an agent, who will have wasted his or her time.

The pond's advice? Try a bit of field work, try a bit of old fashioned investigation. Get out and about and mingle. This might involve growing a beard - difficult for a female field agent - but give it a go.

Why not head off to the Al Risalah Islamic Bookstore and contemplate their media statement?

Second thoughts, since Gerard Henderson thinks we're in a holy war with them, why not hire him as a double agent, and send him out to Bankstown to show us how to mount a Crusade?

Never mind, here's where Polonius gets truly offensive, by making a comparison between people drawing attention to the way governments spy on their citizenry, and a few rogue British ponces who spied on their government a long, long time ago:

Philby and his ilk set out to aid an enemy in the cause of ideology. Assange and his ilk set out to release information, irrespective of whether it benefits a foreign government or non-state enemy. 

Yep, there's prattling Polonius giving aid and comfort for the activities of the Chinese government.

Chattering on about the need to curtail individual rights and the need for secrecy to protect society. Right out of the Communist party's rhetorical playbook.

The Cambridge spy ring did not succeed because their narcissistic alienation was not shared by most of their fellow citizens. 
It is likely the WikiLeaks phenomenon will ultimately fail for similar reasons. 

And there, dear Fairfaxians, is the reason the pond has absolutely no interest in your digital subscription.

Imagine if a cent went to Gerard Henderson scribbling a justification for the Chinese government's censorship of the Internet and infringement of its citizens' right to privacy.

Oh wait, there is one other even more offensive reason:

Sure, Assange has a fan club on social media and within universities and sections of the ABC, but it is far from clear that he has anything like the backing he claims. 

Sob, yes, it's more chatter about those bloody 'leets.

Week in, week out, prattling Polonius chatters on, delivering this sort of idle abuse of elites - this week it's social media, universities and sections of the ABC - though presumably not the Akker Dakker section of the ABC - and you want the pond to kill off a few redback spiders in the purse to pay for the pleasure of reading this sort of tosh?

In your dreams. Sleep safely and well little redback spiders, and sweet dreams of a new media landscape ...

(Below: the pond has run it before and will run it again whenever that chattering Polonius channels Colonel Blimp and runs half-baked half-arsed woefully inaccurate historical analogies).