From the royal wedding, via The Punch, Hugo Chávez and Marrickville Council to Barners, a potpourri of loonacy, surely worthy of a 10k prize...

(Above: you can catch the BBC slide show where this cartoon lurks here).

Stout hearted readers of the pond will already have given themselves the pleasure of reading Christopher Hitchen's vituperative dump, spray, cow dung throwing assault - call it what you will - on the royals in Beware the In-Laws Does Kate Middleton really want to marry into a family like this?

There was a temptation to turn the pond into a wedding free zone, but so long as the assaults continue, the wedding might turn into pure joy and delight. Just one quote to get you going:

This is why I laughed so loud when the Old Guard began snickering about the pedigree of young Ms. Middleton. Her parents, it appeared, were not quite out of the top drawer. The mother had been an air hostess or something with an unfashionable airline, and the family had been overheard using lethally wrong expressions, such as serviette for napkin, settee for sofa, and—I can barely bring myself to type the shameful letters—toilet for lavatory.

To be fair, it's better than the American desire to speak of bathroom instead of lavatory, let alone toilet, let alone the need to take a piss and a shit. Ah Australia, you bloody awesome beaut, as Donald Horne or Bazza might say.

On the other hand, in their usual way, Islamic fundies have shown a distinct lack of humour, what with Royal wedding: Muslim group's Abbey protest blocked. The mindset, wit and imagination of a Danny Nalliah ... embarking on a crusade to end crusades.

Speaking of bathrooms, what better segue could we find to The Punch, which surely has now plumbed the depths, so to speak, and ended up looking like an invention by Sir Thomas Crapper.

Yep, it doesn't get much dumber or plumber than John Mikkelsen's recycling of a Melbourne trade unionist's offer of ten thousand bucks to anyone who can prove that climate change is real, and you can read all about it in Reward: Take the climate change challenge.

For those that bother, The Punch is now so deep in it that it provides fertile loon-hunting every day of the week, and what do you know, the first response to Mikkelsen's piece in the comments section (well it was there when I read it) is a lengthy homage to the Australia-Venezuela Solidarity Network, President of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez, and socialism.

The Venezuelan revolution succeeds to win justice for all people through the path of socialism. Socialism, this is the direction, this is the path to save the planet, I don’t have the least doubt. Capitalism is the road to hell, to the destruction of the world. We say this from Venezuela, which because of socialism faces threats from the U.S. Empire.

Yet funnily enough, the tone is exact and fittingly right for the blurb put out by the 'prove climate change is real' prize offerer, one Peter Laux, who describes himself as a militant trade unionist:

I have watched over the past couple of decades as the so-called left side of politics has been easily duped, co-opted and corralled by the Northern Hemisphere elite over the issue of the Greenhouse Effect or Global warming or Climate Change or Climate Chaos or whatever new slick PR advertising spin they need to use today.

Now it's not just the inner west elite, we've taken over the entire Northern Hemisphere.

Comrade Laux, there's only one solution, as your gimmicky prize begins to generate hits for the evil international mastermind Chairman Rupert. You need to join with valiant comrade President Hugo Chávez in battling the demonic hordes ruining the world, including the northern, southern, western and eastern hemisphere elites (no, there is no prize for arguing the western hemisphere is more a state of mind than a geographical reality).

You can get an idea of the level of the debate proffered in The Punch from this:

AGW proponents constantly claim “overwhelming evidence” and yet incredibly never show any….

Sure, and Christians constantly claim overwhelming evidence for god and Jesus Christ and yet incredibly never show any.

Science? It was last spotted bolting out the back door, and heading for the back paddock to howl at the moon ...

Mikkelsen, by the way, is a former editor of the Gladstone Observer, and is from Queensland. Sometimes the notion of a deeper north appeals, though it's no doubt terribly unfair to people from Queensland ... especially as Laux is a locomotive engineman from Victoria ...

Well in a world where Donald Trump can get a run on birtherism, surely anything is possible. You Really Have to Listen to Donald Trump Talk About Iraq is just one of the many fine flurries of floozies generated by the comb over in recent times ... though his support for the Canadian health system back in 2000 is perhaps even more charming, and you can read all about that in Enter the Donald, Take Two.

(more Doonesbury here. Click to enlarge).

But it least it helps me understand where The Punch is heading. Inspired by the loonacy of American politics, they seek to bring loonacy to the antipodes, and by golly they're succeeding on a daily basis.

Meanwhile, pardon me if I take a moment to reassure anxious rural relatives. Yes, the garbage was collected on time on Monday, which was a great relief, even if some of the garbage got stuck in the bottom of the bin, but sad to say, the modest Stanmore branch of the library remains under continued threat of demolition, and the entire library system is underfunded and incapable of sustaining a decent acquisitions program.

A large amount of money was wasted on a swimming pool, but now we have a local shrine to Annette Kellerman, so all is well, and the tearing down of old buildings and their replacement with MacMansions or high rise apartments with absolutely no architectural distinction or merit continues apace, as do increases in local rates.

But the best news of all is that Marrickville Council has made gigantic strides towards peace in the middle east, if not peace in council meetings, and we now expect this internationally famous council to announce a $10,000 prize for the first person to achieve said peace.

Look for news of the contest in The Punch.

And that, I think, about does it for the day. So many loons, so little time.

Why we haven't even mentioned the anonymous editorialist at The Australian celebrating the impending elevation of Barnaby Joyce to captain of the Nationals, in Joyce returns to state of origin.

In the usual way, the anon edit speaks of the urban Left being amused and frightened by Barners, but this surely means that there's a swag of urban Lefties in Tamworth, at least if the reaction to the news of the 'maybe' Barners challenge to Tony Windsor is any guide, in the NDL's Barnaby may take on Tony.

The illustration of Barners used in the story is vaguely demonic:

Watch out for that chop socky hand chop, which looks more severely sour than sweet.

And the first comment off the block was hardly friendly:

Queensland sent us cane toads, no more that is enough!

Which means I guess that cane toads were born in Tamworth, shipped north, and now are being shipped back again. But come to think of it, someone with photoshop skills could actually match up Barners with a cane toad. A bit like they managed for Mitch McConnell in the US:

Even The Australian's anon edit managed to show signs of concern about Barners:

All the same, Senator Joyce will need to temper some of his more eccentric observations and, more importantly, rethink some of his interventionist economic leanings. If he is to become an effective leader he will need to be consultative, economically consistent and open to compromise. He was found short as opposition finance spokesman and has since improved his performance. He needs to understand it is possible for mavericks to become leaders, but leaders can't be mavericks.

What? Tony Abbott can't be leader anymore? And we can't get any more Barners' outbursts like this one?

The guy is a psycho chook. I mean who in their right mind gets onto a plane and because he doesn't get the right coloured birdseed, has a spac attack and tears some lady in a uniform apart because, because of what? What did he expect the lady to do? To turn around and evolve a set of angel wings and fly down and get him his crunchy bars or whatever he wanted." - ABC Radio The World Today, June 2009 (here)

Ah, the sensitive evocation of the handicapped as a metaphor.

But the anon edit sees an upside:

The senator has been far more effective in attacking the government's emissions trading and carbon tax plans than the government has been in selling them.

Now, now, credit where credit is due.

The Australian, and the entire Murdoch hacker and knackery has been far more effective in attacking the science behind global warming than any other media organisation in Australia.

If you can find any organisation that does it better, perhaps we should round up 10k in prize money, or send them off to the middle east to produce peace in our time ...

Okay, enough with the loons. It's a bright, sunny day in Sydney, and once in the sun, the phantasms and the fears dissolve, the bogeyman is left under the bed, and it's time to get on with life ...

(Below: hah, got ya. He's coming to get ya. You didn't really think the bogeyman stayed under the bed because of the sunlight, did you? Photo found here when Barners was explaining how porn in petrol stations and corner stores produced paedophilia)


And an old Nicholson, more here, which brings together all the memories, now that Barners is back inside the tent. Someone call Sir Thomas Crapper quickly, bring him back from the grave, and yes, you can talk of toilets if you must ...)