Virginia Stewart, scientology re-dux, and tax exempt quackery of the first water on loon pond ...

(Above: hits and mammaries. Was it all so long ago, and what's with the cross, aping the symbols of long established cults, and remember Quackery's envoy: the gospel on Cruise?)

Poor old Paul Sheehan is showing all the signs of Stockholm syndrome in his long harrowing tirade about the difficulties with Telstra in Your call is important to us.

He doesn't seem to have realized that with number portability you can change your service provider at the drop of a hat with minimal confusion. There's no guarantee it'll be a better experience but it'll be different. Why do all these free market chappies end up sounding like stick in the mud conservatives - I'll die suffering under the Telstra regime I part own - as opposed to exercising the rights of a consumer to toddle off elsewhere? In silence.

So we'll leave him there in Plato's wall, complaining away at the shadows in place of taking direct action, and toddle off to Virginia Stewart's Counterpunch: Church of Scientology on Xenophon.

Like any decent cult religion, Scientology is an elaborate pyramid scheme designed to extract cash for spiritual bliss, in a style comparable to the Catholic church's encouragement of breeding to keep up the size of the flock.

Stewart shows a commendable desire to include the Catholic church in her discussion of cult aberrant behaviour:

If members of a church are seen to have offended against the laws of society, then society has ways of providing redress through the institutions of the law.

This is the correct procedure and has been used in instances involving alleged criminal wrong-doing by members of other faiths. The Catholic Church was not condemned as “criminal” for the behaviour of some of its aberrant priests which were clearly in violation of all tenets of that faith.

I believe that Australia’s legislative and judicial system is measured and based on the rule of evidence. It is not sensationalist and based on hysteria and controversial sound-bites.

But it is the rare politician who seeks to be involved in witch-hunt, inquisition or vilification - the actions of the intolerant mob, not a discerning and pluralistic society.

Aw shucks, you mean we can't have a parliamentary inquiry into all forms of cultism?

But right at the moment is it a good idea to stick the old noggin up above the parapets as the tabloids go on the hunt for cult behavior, urged on by Nick Xenophon?

Was it only yesterday that the Sunday Telegraph was in full cry about Church of Scientology attempts to infiltrate primary schools with propaganda videos and booklets aimed at Year 6 students (Scientology targets young kids).

Inside the DVD case is an educational booklet offering quotes from "famous human rights leaders''.

Hubbard heads the list, ahead of Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

Golly, there's your PR problem right there. A third (some would say second, some fifth, some tenth) rate science fiction writer, who invented a bizarre cult, up there with Gandhi and Martin Luther King?

And how's this for dancing on the head of a pin in the finest style of all dissembling prattling priests?

Scientology spokesman Cyrus Brooks said Youth for Human Rights was sponsored by the organisation, but the DVDs were not intended to lure new members.

"There's no subliminal message; we believe educating children on their rights is for the greater good.

"If you all of a sudden want to become a Scientologist by watching the DVD, that's good, but many members of Youth for Human Rights aren't Scientologists themselves, and I'm fine with that,'' he said.

Mr Brooks said the group usually declared its relationship with organisations, but in this case Youth for Human Rights had requested that the acknowledgement be left out.

"The point isn't to advertise the church; that might distract from the message,'' he said.

Sure, sure, and the only reason I left off Santa's name from my covert group Santa Claus the secularist's war on Xmas is because Santa rang me and suggested that his role be left out, for the moment, as it might disturb the children.

Meantime, back with Stewart, I misspoke, because it seems she does want an inquiry:

Even the most deservedly accused criminal has a right to state a defence openly in a fair and objective forum. We too deserve this chance. Senator Xenophon tactics have prepared the way for any defence of Scientology’s position to be ignored due to his denigration of Scientologists and this is shockingly unfair.

Yep, bring on a royal commission, as fair and objective a forum as you might find in this fair land, where Xenophon or the scientologists can be put to the sword. Let's bring it on, give Hubbard's brood a chance to shine in the light of publicity like a Mike Rann caught in the spot light, because they're so hurt and upset by the shocking allegations, which are only possible when love turns to hate, and bizarre claims stem strictly from the imagination:

I will not argue at length here about the morality of treating unsubstantiated, unproven and untested allegation as truth. This is a matter for Senator Xenophon and his parliamentary colleagues to reflect upon.

Yes, reflect you dogs, tormented as you are by your inner thetans, fresh from a volcano somewhere near you.

But there was one note in Stewart's self-serving rant that caught the eye. First of all the ritual celebration of the cult's tax exempt status:

The Health Minister’s wisdom was further confirmed when the unanimous bench of the Australian High Court judges proclaimed Scientology a bona fide religion worthy of full tax exemption in 1983.

Then this:

In matters of tax exemptions, the Church of Scientology differs from many other religions and there clearly are confusions on a broader note. My church only operates through private donations.

Personal donations made to the Church of Scientology are not tax deductible so Scientologists pay tax on hard-earned funds they wish to donate as part of their free exercise of their belief. For the government to then tax the Church on donations received, would in essence be double dipping of the worst kind.

The Church of Scientology does not own or run any businesses. We are not an unfair competition to the profit-making sector. We only deliver Scientology religious services and our members donate to keep their church open and delivering such.

Also significant is the fact that we do not obtain any grants from either state or federal governments. No tax-payer money funds our social and community programs – we fund them all ourselves through our member donations.

Oh you mean you just leech your members? In the service of a cult of deluded beliefs? Oh that's all right then.

But wait a minute, hang on. Does that mean the ATO has revoked its Taxation Ruling TR 2005/21 in relation to Income tax and fringe benefits tax: charities?

6.2.5 Advancement of religion

212. The advancement of religion is a charitable purpose. In this context religion involves belief in a supernatural being, thing or principle and acceptance of canons of conduct which give effect to that belief. Religion covers major religions such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and Taoism, and also Jehovah Witnesses, the Free Daist Communion of Australia, Scientology, and indigenous religions. The categories of religion are not closed.

Golly right up there with the Free Daists. Would it be remiss of me to suggest that the church and its members seek appropriate advice on the ATO ruling? Could they be missing out on something, or is dissembling just a natural way of life for cult apologists?

And finally it should be acknowledged that Stewart does deliver the standard, chortle-worthy ingredients beloved of inhabitants of loon pond in her rant.

After boasting about battles with shrinks - many of whom for some strange reason think scientology is infested by delusional loons with a shaky grip on reality, or actors without any coherent sense of self after playing others for too long - Stewart ends with a clarion call of truth and justice, which sounds all the more silly for the high flown terms deployed:

Scientology is now recognised in most civilised countries as a religious group and our members are free to practice the religion of their choice, as they should be.

Scientology is unique in that it is a practical religious philosophy that answers questions about life and living. Its tenets can be used to improve one’s own life and to help others, but ultimately Scientology helps people regain their spiritual self knowledge.

These spiritual truths are not unique to Scientology - all religions have them or seek them.

As to the rest of Senator Xenophon’s allegations: Rest assumed the Church will take these seriously and is already compiling all necessary information and as we have said all along we will certainly cooperate with the authorities. But we will not condone a witch-hunt based on lies and propaganda and neither will the majority of other rational Australians.

Rational Australians? Supporting the right of a cult to flourish and propagate? To join other long well established cults? Well as the immortal Sam Goldwyn once said, include me out.

And speaking of Sam Goldwyn, let's not start off the week brooding about the stupidities of cults when we can celebrate his commitment to enhancing western thinking. A few golden eggs:

Don't pay any attention to the critics - don't even ignore them.

Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

I can give you a definite perhaps.

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job. (much more here).

Is it any wonder that scientology's power base and driving zeitgeist is Hollywood?

You've got to take the bitter with the sour.