Janet Albrechtsen, activist judges, human rights and say it with a T-shirt slogan

Activist judges, furtiveness, simplistic campaign, duping the  people of power, numbers game, sheer numbers count, dubious tactics, resort to trickery, conspiracy, secretiveness, legislation by stealth, activist judges, warning Will Robinson, danger, danger, bombshell, small-target strategy, deliberate, stealthy, something to hide, progressive circles, steeped in deception, outrage, horror, activist judges, handful of judges (not one of them John Howard), charter deception, deceptive, simpler, louder form of deceit, stealthy shepherding, devious low profile, public hissy fit, blown open the deceit, irate human rights lawyers, fraud, cant and of course activist judges.

Yes, it's all here and more, and as you'd expect it's Dame Slap, aka Janet Albrechtsen slapping down the push for human rights bills anywhere she can find them, along with their lick spittle allies, activist judges and angry human rights lawyers.

Contempt for democratic process, she shrieks, and what has got her so agitated? Well it seems those devious human rights activists have adopted a small-target strategy, going low profile in order to sneak a human rights act through the parliament without anyone noticing. And that deviant hush-hush strategy worked, and the next thing you know there's a human rights act in Victoria, and civilization as we know it ended in Victoria last Friday at noon, courtesy of a small handful of unelected activist judges.

Hah, but now it's all come out in the open because Tanja Kovac, an angry human rights lawyer has spilled the beans in the online journal New Matilda a few weeks ago (a few weeks ago, why didn't anyone notice this shocking revelation at the time?). The silly possum has blown the lid on the caper by bemoaning the stealth strategy and wanting centralized pro-rights branding, campaign slogans, posters and stickers and other pro-rights paraphernalia to generate public support in a practical way.

Goddam it, the goddam hippie even wants a T-shirt with a slogan. Some kind of "I heart" wet thing like the one above, not a decent wet T-shirt that would get the lads onside quick stix. 

Now you may think that a T-shirt strategy kind of blows the deceptive by stealth and treachery routine, but somehow the mere notion of a T-shirt campaign blows Dam Slap's fuse.

When a piece of legislation that fundamentally changes the shape of our democracy has to be “stealthily shepherded” through parliament, you know those advocating a human rights act have something to hide. But Kovac’s plea for a “T-shirt revolution” is even more deceptive. She wants to win people over with emotion, not reason. She wants “rallies, online happenings and a fundraising event or two ... and while you’re at it put out a goddamn badge or something I can wear! The human rights revolution is just a T-shirt away.”

Huh? I get the stealthy shepherding, but how is wearing a T-shirt stealthy? Unstylish, dumb, simplistic, but deceptive?

Ah but you see it's emotional. Like you know when you see a woman wearing an "I heart (emoticon) nerds" your heart just melts for nerds. Go on, admit it. There's nothing like a T-shirt slogan to cut through your razor sharp mind and melt it into intellectual cheese suitable only for a super size burger.

Which is why you can't stop Dame Slap when the wind is in her hair, the bit in her teeth, the leather whip ready for a cracking:

The suggestion that the public should vote for a charter on the basis of a sexy slogan emblazoned on a T-shirt or badge reveals the human rights push for a charter in this country is steeped in deception of one form or another. Rather than the stealth strategy used in Victoria, Kovac wants a simpler, louder form of deceit that she can wear on her sleeve.

Yep, wearing a T-shirt is deceptive. A simple, loud form of deceit. It's the final indignity. And sexy. Imagine if human rights lawyers with tits started wearing T-shirts with slogans. Men would be voting for human rights acts starting tomorrow. With Liberals leading the way. It's that simple when dealing with the simple minded and their love of bodacious babes.

But I'm not so sure about wearing the deceit on the sleeve, when surely the chest or the back is the best place for a slogan. Like "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.  Hate me because I have huge boobs." How could you fit that on a sleeve?

Let’s be clear. We are not talking about a campus campaign to save the whales. The introduction of a human rights act will alter the carefully calibrated balance of power in Australia between the legislature and the judiciary. And that single fact requires a detailed consideration of the consequences, not a T-shirt revolution.

But, but, but I can only think in T-shirt slogans. Why I saw a guy the other day wearing a T-shirt saying 999 - evil when I do hand-stands, and I laughed. I don't know why, it was a simplistic cornball joke, but I laughed. It got me to thinking I should make that long delayed purchase of a T-shirt saying "Janet Albrechtsen is a goose", along with a picture of a goose.

But let's be clear, we're not talking about a simplistic slogan like save the whales, which is utterly misleading in the way it misrepresents the mind boggling complexity of marine interactiveness and the awesome connectivity of the oceans. "Save the whales" - now where does that leave a Japanese salaryman wanting to wear a simple T-shirt with the slogan "Save my delicate whale meat treat for dinner."

People, nation, this is no simple minded T-shirt competition. And you there missie get out of that wet thing and stop trying to distract the menfolk from important issues:

The list of vaguely described rights in a charter will necessarily require judges to determine important social policy questions that we have traditionally entrusted to politicians to decide on our behalf, politicians who can be voted out of office if we disagree with them.

On matters of rights, where reasonable people can disagree, a handful of judges will decide the outcome. By any measure, that is a shift of power to judges away from the people.

Activist judges. And only a handful. When our rights are so well looked after by Chairman Rudd (and especially Stephen Conroy) and before them Chairman Howard.

Indeed, Kovac’s outburst unintentionally betrays the democratic deficit behind a human rights act. She condemns lawyers for being far removed from “the great unwashed”. These are the same far removed lawyers who as judges will determine, if Kovac gets her way, rights for the great unwashed.

And don't forget smelly! Unwashed and smelly. I can see a T-shirt right now: "Bath salts for the unemployed." But they don't have baths? Details, details. "Baths on every street corner for the homeless."

Meantime, be alert but not alarmed. If you see anyone wearing a T-shirt, immediately report them to a lawyer, or preferably an activist judge. If the message on the T-shirt is cryptic, or somehow political or social or contains commentary, we are at this moment setting up a gulag for these simplistic fiends. They think they can reduce an argument to a single line, but let's see how they deal with a subtle nuanced argument - like "Torture T-shirt wearing Mind Terrorists."

In June, Amnesty International and the University of NSW Law Society convened a forum to debate the question “Does Australia need a human rights act?” Then they gathered together four speakers who all agreed that the answer was yes. By all means, bring on a debate about this question. But first, please, drop the charter deception. Now there’s a neat slogan for a T-shirt.

Oh no, the sleazoids have captured Janet Albrechtsen as well. Now she's thinking in T-shirt slogans as well. Could this be the end of democracy as we know it, everybody twittering 140 characters and putting the tweets up on T-shirts?

Just when I thought Albrechtsen had struck a blow for freedom and thousand page philosophical and political treatises, we get "Drop the Charter Deception". Which has the power and force of a wet noodle, especially up against "Don't bother I'm not drunk yet" or "Fuck y'all I'm from Texas."

Since Albrechtsen herself has resorted to T-shirt sloganeering, the last refuge of the patriot and the mindless, I guess we'll have to leave a serious discussion of human rights acts and serious debates for another day.

Hmm, I still think "Janet Albrechtsen is a goose" is a bit of a goer.

Anyhoo, with life and my mind reduced to thinking in T-shirt slogans, I googled up "human rights T-shirts" and what a disappointing crop it was. Clearly Kovac was right, and sob, maybe Albrechtsen was also right to start to get the T-shirt debate going. Why a new set of T-shirts could save cotton farmers, Chinese manufacturers and and trigger a new boom to truly end the GFC.

I mean there was a lot of special pleading on view - save the one legged gay lesbian whales in Tibet - but nothing to suggest that the world was coming to an end through activists buying and wearing human rights T-shirts. Here's a sampling, from the comprehensive to the strangely French, but it's hard to care, so get cracking Kovacs and Albrechtsen: