Bonnie Tyler, Andrew Bolt, the meaning of life, the song to sing at the end of the world and a graph that pulls it all together

I swore I'd never turn into a blog that strayed from loon pond - where all the deep philosophical, theological and political issues are discussed with loony profoundness by commentariat columnists - but this so tickled my fancy, I had to keep the chain letter going. You might need to click on the image to savor its full loonacy (which will also give you the link to the original site - oh okay, here).

Oh Bonnie Tyler five minutes and a half minutes of magic reduced to one graph! I think I'll have another drink of chardonnay and go out and howl at the moon. Turn around bright eyes, love in the dark is better than no love at all.

Why I'll bet that your song is the one we all share with Andrew Bolt, as he explains the meaning of life and the lessons he's learnt, apart from the therapeutic pleasure of destroying your enemies with verbal thunderbolts, denigrating them, sideswiping them, eviscerating them, castrating them, incarcerating them, demolishing them, obliterating them, and then dancing on their graves. In the light of a full moon.

Oh Bonnie,the hair, I had hair like that once, but it was never back lit in quite the same way. The female Meatloaf, who could ask for more from a Welsh lass.

Oh and the lyrics for the song? Here they are. Sing along:

Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming round
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound
of my tears
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the
years've gone by
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then
I see the look in your eyes
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart

Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream
of something wild
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying
like a child in your arms
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got
to get out and cry
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the
look in your eyes
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do
I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg
And giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

turn around, bright eyes
turn around, bright eyes

turn around
every now and then I know you'll never
be the boy you always wanted to be
turn around
every now and then I know you'll always be
the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
turn around
every now and then I know there's no one in the
universe as magical and wonderous as you
turn around
every now and then I know there's nothing any better
theres nothing that I just wouldn't do

turn around bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart
turn around bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do
I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg
And giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
Now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

Oh Jim Steinman, we owe you so much. Can you remember 1983? I can, and the clip was directed by dinkum Aussie Russell Mulcahy, who gave the world Razorback. Why the song even has its own wiki here. What happened? Where did the eighties go? Sound of being hit by fast moving truck, exeunt stage right, arm in arm with Andrew Bolt.

Oops, it's been drawn to my attention that the clip features school boys doing very strange things with Bonnie. Naughty school boys. Sweet innocent Bonnie. And the hair! Not to mention the eye liner!

Settle down Clive Hamilton and the 'sexualization of children' crowd, it was the eighties. These days, forget the heart, what people want is a total eclipse of the loon. Well they can't have it. And remember together we can make it to the end of the line by giving off sparks.