A routine day at the reptile office, with Peronism, Marxism, class warfare, deep dark secrets and a lot of Enid Blytons ...

 

The pond has been following the latest US conspiracy theory, and for the first time had to pay attention to a US football match ..

And so on, and on, and weirder by the day ...

The pond wondered how the reptiles of Oz could possibly match this sort of outlandish paranoia and then remembered that last night the reptiles had a double bill starring the bromancer, with incipient Peronism the main feature ...

Suddenly the scales fell from the pond's eyes and it all made sense. Once the Swifties had fixed the game, thereby ensuring victory, jolly Joe would work to make Albo the new Peron of the south ...

In other words, it's the usual order of the day at the hive mind ...

The pond has already done the Peronista twista, so it's time for the South Pacific waltz ...

There's Peron himself, busy spreading Peronism across the Pacific ... no wonder everybody is flocking to Chairman Xi ... and that's making it incredibly hard for the bromancer's plan for war with China by Xmas, what with everything falling apart and everything in complete ruin, and the end of the world now nigh by Ēostre ...

Then came another snap of the Peronista at work ...

Could the bromancer keep up the astonishing level of consternation and alarm, as required by that Golding cartoon? 

Of course, that sort of carry-on is all in a day's bromancer work, paranoid hysteria is always the go ...

Indeed, indeed, and so to a rousing bromancer finish ...

Say what? All that good work and suddenly it ended like a Python sketch. It's all been moonshine, but jolly good, you've done well enough, carry on ...

Talk about a shattered pond. What a wimp, and what a concluding whimper, one that makes absolutely no sense. The government has still done well enough, on the basis of drinking moonshine? Waiter, another glass of moonshine, and make it a large one ...

The pond felt deeply deflated, and decided to wind back the clock and look at the reptile digital edition ...

So that's why the pond had blindly rushed in with the bro ... the Higgins matter occupying the top far right perch, and the grim twin spectres of "Ned' and Dame Slap glaring out at the world and the pond ...

The Oz comments section offered no alternatives, just the diabolical twins in a pairing...

The pond rarely indulges the rat in the rank, the cane toad from the deep north, so there was no way out.

The pond can hear the groaning already. Not the class warfare routine, it was old long before it became new again in the reptile hive mind.

The pond is already well over all that malarkey ... and so it settled for a burst of Chicken Little "Ned" pronouncing complete ruin ...

Those who bother to read "Ned's" splashes will have noted that he turned full Enid Blyton this day. As soon as anyone scribbles about the "real secret", you know you're going to cop a dose of unreal hysteria, end of world doomerism and all the rest of "Ned's" reliable deep unhappiness with life ...

Now it's not just the favouring of the poor over the idle rich that's the summer of "Ned's" discontent, it's the entire ruination produced by progressive taxation ...

The pond had in fact held its breath and did its level best to get through "Ned's" doomsterism reading of the runes as quick as it could, but then had to pause for a shorter gobbet ...

As you might expect, "Ned", haunted by teals and possibly whales (or camels, man, woman and television), continued to be astonished ...

It seemed about the right moment to slip in a Rowe...

And so to a final gobbet ...

It's incredibly amusing when you realise what all this "Ned" huffing and puffing is actually about, the real secret of the real reptiles ... a deep and abiding devotion to fat cats ...

Fat Cat! Suddenly the pond was back in Adelaide, and deeply moved by all the suffering heaped on Fat Cat and his friends ...

By now anybody sensible had raced off to a cold shower to wash off the last traces of Neddist doom, so it seemed reasonable to indulge in a little class warfare ...

The pond doesn't usually indulge Dame Slap ... the pond long ago grew tired of her weird fixation on the Higgins matter and all the rest that went with it ... but a more general rant is surely in keeping with the reptile spirit of quackery ...

Yes, it's a Peronista variant, take your partners for the reptile class warfare foxtrot ...

It seems to have escaped Dame Slap that the reason for all the anger and division tracks back directly to the reptiles, long practised in the art of angertainment, about the only way they can sustain their business model...

You can't have the lizard Oz without conflict, hysteria, alarmism and the end of the world by tomorrow, or perhaps the end of the month ... there's still time to subscribe to discover the exact time and place ...

As for the rest, Dame Slap is also in Enid Blyton mode, taking us on a great adventure to see what's being hidden ...

But it only needs one reptile to discover incipient Marxism, which is, rest assured, just the same as Peronism ...

The most rancorous Australia Day in history?

Every so often a fresh absurdity in the angertainment game catches the pond's eye and makes it all worth while ... but as we're still celebrating the day and cheap trinkets, the pond will allow a trip to the Daily Snail ...

Sadly the pond doesn't link to the Snail, but surely that was a pretty rancorous day, at least if you happened to be one of the victims ... except in Dame Slap's world, where the selling of cheap trinkets is somehow vital to happiness...

Now there's an inelegant expression. Did Dame Slap really mean to say that class warfare drives colonialism?

Never mind, it was a classic attempt at reptile angertainment, and a summation of the latest  elements in the most recent catchy reptile theme song.

To the barricades, and send money to the Emeritus Chairman for the class war ...

The pond waits now for the recall of a timeless classic, the faceless men  ...

Of course it became something of a long-running joke ...

Perhaps it's time to bring back the drover's dog, and combine the dog with the faceless men ...

Of course the bloody dog still couldn't learn the trick, and that's why the reptiles are so grumpy, with the apocalypse imminent...

Pardon the hollow laugh. Dame Slap really is way past the hill of irony. The pond loves it when she scribble about values that unite us, when she really means the angertainment that enhances the bottom line ... and that helps explain why in a nation of millions, the lizard Oz can calculate a readership in the thousands ...

Is it too much to ask for plain speaking ... too much to suggest that the reptiles are intent on snacking on this government, until they can bring back an easy life for the rich? You know, because it all went so splendidly under the onion muncher, Malware and the liar from the Shire, and Captain Spud will bring all the best of Queensland ploddery to the job ...

Meanwhile, the infallible Pope revives fond memories of Rawhide amid the pending apocalypse ...

And there's your real wild horse, one the reptiles will never discover, as they do their Enid impression and hunt for secrets and class warfare and Marxism and Peronism and all the rest of the tripe ...

In which the pond overcomes incipient Tootleism to get on the tracks with the bro and a standard groaning ...

 

As a devotee of the eccentric, the pond increasingly feels the desire to go the Tootle, yet the reptiles routinely run on rigid tracks ...

But how could the pond pass up mentioning New role for Amy Coney Barrett’s father inside Christian sect sparks controversy.

The pond has long been interested in cults, having grown up within the Catholic cult, and this one sounds a ripper ...

...The PoP was founded in the 1970s as part of a Christian charismatic movement. In meetings, members are encouraged to share prophecies and speak in tongues. One former member said adherents believe God can speak through members to deliver messages, sometimes about their future.
A PoP handbook states that members are expected to be obedient to male authorities, or group heads, and are expected to give 5% of their earnings to the group. Heads are influential decision-makers in members’ lives, weighing in on issues ranging from dating to marriage and determining where members should live.
After a waiting period, members agree to a covenant – a lifelong vow – to support each other “financially and materially and spiritually”.
The group has been criticized for endorsing discriminatory practices. Members who engage in gay sex are expelled, and private schools closely affiliated with the group – the Trinity Schools – have admission policies that in effect ban the children of gay parents from attending. Barrett has previously served on Trinity’s board of trustees.
Single members are encouraged to live with other members of the community, including families with children, a practice that former members and adults who grew up in the sect say created opportunities for sexual abuse.

Weird and yet a source of perennial fascination ...

At the same time, the pond can only note some things in passing, with amusement, like this yarn about the onion muncher...

Coalition documentary? 

The coalition made a documentary? It is of course a documentary to be featured on the ABC, it really should have been headed "ABC Documentary", but the reptiles simply couldn't bring themselves to note that they were stealing a story from the ABC. 

Solution? Watch the documentary on the ABC if interested, and ignore the reptiles ...

Meanwhile, at last the oscillating fan made it to the top far right digital perch, a place and a prominence much desired by the reptiles ...

It's a tad awkward, what with the juxtaposition, but the reptiles have set a new gearing hare loose and the pond is waiting for Captain Spud to appear in the lizard Oz singing the same tune ... or wait, will it be in a choir, with counter harmony skills required?

Speaking of splits, the man who has little to be proud of pulled off a stunning definition of poverty and the hard done by in David Littleproud accuses Labor of ‘class warfare’ over stage-three tax changes, saying $190,000 is ‘not a lot’.

The pond isn't sure how long the reptiles are going to be able to keep the class warfare routine alive with that definition of suffering, but has a devout faith in speaker in tongues Dame Groan's stupendous abilities ...

Meanwhile, in the quest for eccentricity, the pond couldn't help but notice this offering from Overington ... at one point yesterday centre stage, before shuffling off into the wings ...

The pond had vaguely thought of Overington as one of the saner reptiles, but this was a doozy straight out of social media ...

Really? And whites in books is where you'll make your stand?

But never mind, time to do the full dumpster dive into social media and yet more blather about the woke agenda ...

This is the best the reptiles have got? 

The pond would rather be referencing Peter Beinart's Why do America’s liberal hawks attack Russia while giving Israel a free pass?

But here we are, and the pond wondered by Overington hadn't suggested to Horman that perhaps she should start stocking Mein Kampf ... be fair, forget Godwin's Law, he was white, and always agitated about the lack of appreciation for white men in history and literature ...

It's been a long time since the pond has noted Overington among the reptiles. Perhaps she would have been better off staying in the wilderness ...

Meanwhile, the pond was troubled. Had there been a demarcation dispute? Were there intense territorial arguments going down in the lizard Oz? 

There had been much screeching and squawking and droning on about drones, but surely this was prime bromancer turf.

Yet he was nowhere to be seen. Droning on about drones was surely central to his job description and his role as reptile Generalfeldmarschall - the war with China will surely come by this Xmas - and yet there came a two pronged attack ...

What were Stewie and Ben doing treading on the bro's sacred turf? How did the packing drones Packham get to scribble furiously about military madness? Had the reptiles gone mad and abandoned the bromancer?

It was a huge relief to look below the fold and spot the bro and Dame Groan ...

What a relief. The pond could return to the tracks and forget any incipient Tootleism tendencies ...

Huzzah, it was a bro rant about everything, though it was stretching it a bit to keep on carrying on about Oz day ...

Still there was a lot about everything, including subs, the suffering of the rich, Oz day, yadda yadda ...

Ah, identity politics ... the pond knows the cause. A lack of whities in bodice rippers and thrillers ... and then it was on to cricket and that pathetic patsie who lost to the Windies ...

Once upon a time, members would have talked of a jolly good game and the wonders of cricket, but the bro was furious ...

So, Peronism? Or incipient terminal bromancer stupidity? The pond has wondered that many times before, and on the evidence to hand, will have to keep on wondering ...

Meanwhile, on another planet ...

The pond thought it would slip that infallible Pope in before getting down with the Groaner, who can always be relied on to make the most stubborn and determined herpetology student sneak outside for a walk in the sunshine ...

No doubt the old chook is groaning to a select audience ...

Step aside greedy pigs and fat cats, Dame Groan has your racquet ...

Ah, those bludgers on 18-45k, don't. they realise the real suffering begins somewhere around the 190k mark? It's not a lot and they certainly wouldn't be a cause of inflation, they'd pocket the lot and put it aside for a rainy day ...

As usual, the pond will leave it to those who love to decipher a groaning to do the rest. The pond is just pleased that this is the final gobbet ...

Huzzah ... the pond just knew it ... the old class warfare routine, and the suffering of the top 10 per cent ...

Yet again the pond's faith has been vindicated, and now might be a good time to go off to speak in economic tongues to the long absent lord ...

Meanwhile, on another planet, the genocides in Ukraine and Gaza go on, and yet again it's left to the cartoonists to take note ...