In which the question must be asked … are Switzers the main impediment to rules-based order?

The pond was so entranced by the reptile facelift that it felt in need of another visit to the herpetarium, and what better way than by confronting the pond's worst fears …

You see, the Switzer keeps turning up all over the place, and has made RN a no-go place for the pond, for fear of encountering a Switzer blathering on in his inimitable way …

Best to confront these fears …

Somehow, faced with nightmares, the pond always ended up looking under the bed, and sure enough, there was always a monster, and if no monster, then surely a Switzer ...

It's impossible to evoke the ineffable stupidity lurking behind this sort of word-counting phenomena …

It so happens that way back on 25th September 1919 Woodrow Wilson was talking of a rules-based international order, and the speech could still be found on the US Embassy's German site here, with Wilson quoting Teddy Roosevelt …

"The one effective move for obtaining peace is by an agreement among all the great powers in which each should pledge itself not only to abide by the decisions of a common tribunal but to back its decisions by force. The great civilized nations should combine by solemn agreement in a great world league for the peace of righteousness; a court should be established. A changed and amplified Hague court would meet the requirements, composed of representatives from each nation, whose representatives are sworn to act as judges in each case and not in a representative capacity." Now there is article ten. He goes on and says this: "The nations should agree on certain rights that should not be questioned, such as territorial integrity, their right to deal with their domestic affairs, and with such matters as whom they should admit to citizenship. All such guarantee each of their number in possession of these rights."

Well we know what happened to Wilson's dream of the League of Nations, but surely the point is that almost a century ago, Wilson andy others were talking of a great world league for the peace of righteousness …

And that's why the Switzer routinely sends the pond into a frenzy. Rampant stupidity and nonsensical silliness will always do it, especially when dressed up with blather about the logic being clear ...

Now the pond appreciates the Switzer's intent. It's to normalise and rationalise and downplay the Donald, and make Brexit seem a natural consequence of things, and who knows, soon enough the end of the EU should follow, and Vlad the impaler might march back into old territories and establish a new Soviet empire, and the Switzer will cluck his tongue, and patiently explain that this is how it should be, and all this Wilsonian blather about rules-based international orders was and is just a dream ...

And there's another reason the pond dislikes the Switzer … the dissembling. Not that the pond is a huge fan of Snopes, but really …

The record shows that Donald Trump’s public stand against the Iraq War did not occur until August 2004, long after the war was underway, and only after he had on multiple previous occasions expressed either support for the war or non-committal opinions about its merits. The record does not support his contention that he was against the Iraq War “from the beginning.”

And so on - Politifact did the same for the Iraq war, and also offered to track Donald Trump's evolving position on Afghanistan …

 but then the Donald is a congenital liar, and has done as much as he can to undermine the international rules currently in operation …

The United Nations isn't the best of instruments, the WTO and other international institutions have their flaws, but the notion that it's all a waste of time is the sort of nihilism that managed to produce a couple of world wars ...

It seems it suits Switzer's business model to normalise all this nihilism, and downplay the anarchy the Donald has produced on the world stage, so that international rogues and villains can go about their business and it can be all seen as just normal, irrepressible power politics ...

And there's as good a prescription for a return to the 1930s as might be found amongst forelock tuggers and old school Bismarckians, but if the United States and the Donald aren't the solution, are Xi and Vlad the impaler the answer?

Never mind, before Switzer-approved chaos is unleashed on the world, with dark, ignorant nation states clashing by night, can the pond at least pause for its dietary-recommended dose of a Rowe a day, with more essential mineral and vitamin Rowe here, offering authenticity as the way forward…

In which the Caterists offer their usual Tuesday morning delight ...

  

The pond likes to begin the reptile day by scanning the lizard Oz headlines …even if it means shedding copious tears for the suffering of the rich …

The poor, poor possums … thank the long absent lord they have Davey in their corner, reminding the lumpenproletariat of their extraordinary luck, while comforting the unhappy rich by reminding them of their excessive generosity. Here, have a slice of cake with Davey ...

And then there was Dame Groan getting agitated about the furriners flooding the country, and the reptiles having to resort to the ABC to be reassured that the onion muncher was under control…

 

Yes, as images of Dr Hannibal Lecter in his mask flooded the pond's mind, it seems we must read the reptiles to learn about what went on, on their ABC, because to watch the actual work of the cardigan socialists would be unseemly …

And there was the flip-flop man at the top of the page, preparing to do his latest flop-flip …

But none of this much mattered to the pond because today was Caterist day …

Hmm, GetUp! gets down and dirty? Why they should be washed, and who better to do the washing than a Caterist?

(Credit where credit is due).

And what do you know, knock the pond down with a feather, the reptiles have done a revamp, and come up with a much cleaner, spacious herpetarium …

Unkempt figures?

Never mind, as soon as anyone starts talking of ugliness, the pond has to race around the house smashing all the mirrors, as a reminder that maybe arguing about people's looks rather than people's ideas isn't the best way forward … even if it's the sort of approach favoured by anally-retentive, envious Caterists ...

And it's easy to see why the Caterists get agitated. $2.4 million in kickbacks? 

Why it makes the Caterist offerings look measly …

Say what? The Caterists only trouser some $230k or so a year, while those bloody Kiwis make out like bandits?

It's bloody outrageous, no wonder the Caterist feels like a thumb in a dyke, and the dam about to burst ...

Indeed, indeed, and here's a tip from the pond. If you pay your taxes, fear not, the federal government will ensure the Menzies Research Centre gets its fair and proper share … so that the propaganda in favour of Malware's government can continue apace …but don't expect each column to carry a warning, along the lines "in the spirit of a little honesty from this hired advocate, the Menzies Research Centre trousers a little cash from the federal government each year, but dammit, it's not nearly as much as all those other clever lobbyists"…

But enough of standard Caterist ironies, it's time for a final gobbet from a consummate rent-seeker, as he goes about his daily business of denouncing rent-seekers ...

Indeed, indeed, "Nick Cater is executive director of the Menzies Research Centre, which receives a tidy sum each year from the federal government."

There, fixed, and speaking of special interests, wasn't it fun to see Ellen Fanning roast Lord Downer's IPA-loving spawn on The Drum last night?

Here for tweet and active link …and by golly the pond might have to start watching their ABC again if this is what's going to be on offer …

And of course that led to Mike Seccombe's splendid piece in The Saturday Paper here … the pond can't resist a sample, it's such a tasty cake of rent-seeking (though it might cost some their one free read) …

What was it the Caterist said, as he refused to acknowledge the federal government's support for the Menzies Resource Centre at the bottom of his piece?

"The activists who complain so long and hard about the vested interests of others seem strangely reluctant to have the spotlight cast on themselves."

Well you can take the Menzies Resource Centre and double it with the IPA and have a good horse laugh about all of it … though who knows what might happen should the dam burst …

And so to the infallible Pope, with more Pope here …

By the way, the pond receives no money from no one (which means, in Alice terms, fancy being able to see nobody and at such a distance too), and cedes no controlling interest to anyone, and if anyone wants to support anyone with a click, give the Pope his due … these days Fairfaxians need all the help they get before they turn Nineians, if such a thing can be …

In which the Oreo goes there ...

The pond thought for a moment about whether it should bother with the Oreo today … it's hard to make light of abortion … though some do try …

But then the Oreo began with an outright lie ...

Abortion is a form of liberation?

The pond isn't aware of anyone who thinks of the painful choice of having an abortion as a form of liberation.

Would anyone who has had a remotely close contact with anyone who is thinking about, or has had an abortion, couch it in that light?

It's difficult, but then it's also difficult to have a child, have it snatched away by the Catholic church, return home in shame and guilt, only to have the child return to remind you of the choice you made some sixty years before …

The pond has been close to a number of people who have walked down sundry paths - it tended to happen in a town like Tamworth, where, in the old days, ignorance of matters sexual was cultivated like a field of thistles or Paterson's curse …

It's why, instead of the usual bemused tolerance that the pond extends to the likes of the Oreo, this day it takes on a form of angry contempt …

Who is this woman blathering on about allegedly fair-minded folk ignoring inconvenient truths about abortion?

Has she ever had a liberating abortion? Does she know anyone who has experienced undiluted liberation, as opposed to the sort of mixed emotions which go with the human condition?

It is of course up to women to make their own decisions and their own choices, and the last thing they need is this sort of hectoring, prattish carry-on by a self-congratulatory delusional …

What's the bet the Catholics will be cited? You know, that bunch of men sworn never again to have a fuck with a woman … but instead to spend their lives fucking with Christ ...

She's quoting Donald Trump? The man with three wives whose personal lawyer Michael Cohen got involved in paying out $1.6 million to facilitate and keep quite an abortion for a Playboy model?

The only consistent part of Trump’s thinking is his disdain for women because, being a star, he naturally thinks he can “do anything” to them.

There's much more, and active links at the Graudian here, but don't get the pond started on the deep hypocrisy of the Donald and Republicans, or we could be Broidying away the day ...

NY Times here ...

About the only thing that could get the pond more agitated is if the Oreo dragged in a reference to the Nazis ...

Oh she did, she did go the Nazi route …

Well the pond isn't going to go there, and isn't even going to wish an unwanted pregnancy on the Oreo so that she might experience the realities of lives lived …

Instead, the pond would like to end on a lighter note …because hypocrisy at least provides a goodly source of hugely humour …

In which the pond shares quality time with a Major parrot ...

 

Shorten crashes back to earth? Commanding lead? 

For a nanosecond the pond thought the Bensonite was announcing a shock 50/50 or perhaps even 51/49 swing to Malware … but then the pond came crashing back to earth with the realisation it was just the playful reptiles playing their usual tricks …

The good old popularity routine, a favourite reptile retreat in difficult times, though the pond recollects that nobody much liked Malcolm Fraser, especially after the way he behaved in the coup, and yet he still got voted in ...

The sad truth was tucked away in the Bensonite heiling of the glorious dominance of Malware, with not a mutter  about the reason Malware offered for taking out the onion muncher after 30 losing efforts …

The poll of 1704 voters nationally conducted across city and country areas between Thursday and yesterday is the 37th consecutive Newspoll in which the ­Coalition has trailed Labor on a two-party-preferred vote.

37! Can he try for 40?

The world of social media would reveal the heartbreaking truth the reptiles were desperately trying to avoid …

  

Everybody loves the reptiles when they play these games … and the normally inert reptile twitter account saw delighted punters celebrate the reptile art of polling ...

And it didn't take long for assorted explanations to be trotted out ...

 

Yes, it wasn't long before the need for "real people" gave way to favourite reptile conspiracy theories …

By golly, after seeing all this spin, the pond was primed for some major spin by the climate scientist Major, reliably lurking in the reptile ranks for a Monday treat …

Of course the Major has struggled with climate science truths - he's a consummate group thinker - but on the days when he's not questing for that still missing Order of Lenin medal, he's always on hand to explain the folly of climate scientists who waste their time out in the field, or scribbling peer-reviewed studies ...

Reptile lovers gasped with awe at the scientific precision of "climate change hysteria" … though the rest of the routine did make the pond wonder what would happen when the reptiles no longer had Fairfax to kick around ...

There is, of course, no point debating climate science with the Major, who flaps his hands wildly on the matter whenever it pops up, and who routinely kneels abjectly in his climate science temple to his great god, dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi …

Meanwhile, on another planet …

Those alternative realities are easily googled, but why waste time with reality when there's reptile delusions on parade?

The real pleasure is picking which is the most piquant form of the Major's worship. Is it quoting eminent climate scientist Terry McCrann, or is it regurgitating the Lomborg kool aid that infests the water coolers at the inner suburban Surry Hills 'leet lizard Oz, only a stone's throw away from the world's most preeminent baristas …or is it that poignant neo-Marxist aside deploring the way that journalists side with the wealthy and merchant bankers …?

Sorry, the pond deeply apologises to the Major. 

It has no idea how that complete tool, Malware, that former merchant banker, somehow returned to create mayhem for the Major's conspiracy theory, up there with his hunt for the Order of Lenin medal …

Go Lomborg go … we must invest in new green technologies, excluding of course any current green technologies ...

The pond frequently compares the Major to a parrot … but after seeing the Major parrot Lomborg in such fine style, who could object?

By golly, the comparison is exact, except for the way that intelligence seems to lurk in the eyes of that galah ...

And so to the Rowe for today, with more Rowe here, and luckily it returns the pond to where it started, with windmills, coal stacks, a cheeky rooster and a lurking onion muncher ...