Saturday, October 10, 2020

In which the bromancer is no Flinty, our Gracie risks being burned at the stake, and the dog botherer is his usual hysterical self ...

 

 

After the complete adoration, neigh the sublime adulation, that Flinty offered up to the Donald in these pages only yesterday, the pond felt curiously deflated approaching the bromancer today.

Sure he offers standard adoration, sure he flings around terms like "weaker and more woke", because being a stupefied zombie is infinitely preferable, but he also offers saucy doubts and fears and equivocations. 

Granted these are just ways to sell his line of Donald sauce - extra spicy but with a hint of beguiling fear - but really at this late stage is it right and proper for any decent Murdochian reptile to be offering thoughts like "frequent bouts of boorish personal behaviour, and numerous outright mistakes"?

It's an old trick, a way of posing as an even-handed, rational assessor of the truth, but in its own way, it's much more dishonest than Flinty's devoted love, and it's much closer to the bullshit that the Donald himself peddles when selling his patented bleach ...

 



Indeed, indeed, and what a sublime result for the United States ...

 




The bromancer shows all the same signs of a fatal infection ...



 

Oh yes, who cares about climate science or world pandemic or the planet being comprehensively fucked, it's all a hoax anyway ... but did the bromancer start that gobbet by mentioning chicken-counting?

 

 


 

 

Ah never mind, back to the bromancer taking a serial con artist, carnie showman and narcissist snake oil salesman seriously ...

 


 

The development of Quad? But what about more important things, like the development of QAnon, and freedom fighters?

 

 


 

 

And now, have you ever wondered how to reduce Asian nations to a singular caricature, a kind of blearing of those peculiar folk into one mass, showing the same singular characteristics as the Donald? Why wonder, why not just gasp in awe and admiration as the bromancer shows how it's done? Because when opening a store or a column, always remember the best branding is stereotypes is us ...

 


 

And so to the bromancer harping on about coal ...because that's what reptiles do. It wouldn't be a reptile column without China and coal ... and yet we all know climate science is a hoax, thanks to the reptiles, so why do they care so much?



 

The pond here must confess to a spoiler alert. You see, the great, singular crime unleashed on the world by the Democrats was a monstrous, righteous sandbagging of the onion muncher, whom everyone knows is Australia's greatest export ... and the bromancer's dearest friend ... and responsible for the greatest era in Australian knighthoods since the concept began ...

 


 

How sweet to see such unwavering devotion to the bromancer, and what a mind, to believe that the Donald can be retooled into Trump Mark II, and that must be worth a final cartoon before moving on ...

 

 



 And now the pond must turn to the peculiar problem of our Gracie ...



 
 
 
For weeks now, the pond has been wondering why our Gracie has remained a reptile ... see how, right from the get go, she ravages the Donald, in a way that must shock and consternate the bromancer ...

 


Please Gracie, just settle, enjoy the spectacle. Don't give up on the joy of easy laughter. Here have a Rowe to help you settle, with more settling Rowe here ...

 




Doesn't that feel better. Surely you can enjoy the Donald as a kind of Kong?


 

Oh Gracie, Gracie, that last par ... what were you thinking? Why are you still amongst the reptiles? How did they allow you to get away with so many shocking heresies in such few words? What a conundrum you pose, what a dire mystery ... and it's no good claiming Americans agree with you, not when the bromancer has already done his thing ...



Why next thing you'll be proposing that people prefer to be alive rather than loyal to the Donald and stone cold dead. Here, have a comforting cartoon, before the pond must move on to its bonus ...




Yes, the pond realises its a form of insult to move the dog botherer down the page to a bonus, the kind of supplement you take as a placebo, but the pond is still in a state of shock at the heresies unleashed by our Gracie, and at the least, it should offer as recompense full blown dog bothering hysteria ...



 

We're sailing into the eye of an unimaginable storm? What like the one the dog botherer helped produce in Iraq way back when? Or merely an unimaginable Utegate storm of a dog botherer kind? Or just the standard click-bait dog botherer trolling storm, which devoted reptile students experience week in, week out?



 

What to say? The pond has already been subverted by our Gracie ...the dog botherer's bullshit has lost its sting. He can go on to do his Killer Creighton routine, and all the pond can think is how sweet if he came down with the virus because he'd happened to be in the Rose Garden that day ...

 



What's this? Even the dog botherer is prone to conspiracy theories? What is this talk of not finding a vaccine? Why everyone knows that the heat will drive out the virus, it will magically vanish in the summer, and if it doesn't, there'll certainly be a vaccine, a cure, available to everyone by no later than yesterday ... and we'll all feel positively Nietzschean in our superhuman status once we've been given a jab, or maybe a steroids cocktail of the sweetest kind (hmm, the pond still has a left over cortisone tablet, should today be the day that the pond does a Jimmie Mason and feel Bigger than Life?)




Why do all the reptiles refer to Sweden, itself a dubious proposition? Why don't they refer to the United States, where their Murdochian master has installed a genius who has done wonders (oh Gracie, Gracie, what were you thinking, do you know what happens to heretics? Are you intent on being a new Jeanne d'Arc?)

 

The dog botherer offering proportionality? What a simple-minded forgetful fucker. Didn't he offer us at the start "We're sailing into the eye of an unimaginable storm."

How then is the need for proportionality being made clear? Can the Ancient Mariner do an L. Ron Hubbard and be clear?

Fortunately there's just one gobbet of dog botherer mindless stupidity to go, as proportional as an infinity of blather symbol ...

 


Positive net migration? But everyone knows the country was being over-run, swamped, by foreigners, who were ruining the place, and who had to be kept out at all costs. The reptiles kept telling us day in, day out.

Never mind, the infallible Pope has said a fond farewell to one of those hoping to join the outflow, and turn Europe green, though having done sweet fuck all for Australia's greenery, the pond doesn't much like Europe's chances ...

 

 


 


21 comments:

  1. Just one more:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqWBth_rLgw

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    1. And why not,....as they are such pleasant and relaxing listening. They can turn 30 minutes into what feels like 5.
      Tall tales and true, as I love the Mandolin. About 45 years ago when clearing out a shed,I came across an old hessian bag tied with baling twine. Inside was this beautiful and quite old inlaid mandolin....in two pieces.
      At first I presumed it had been smashed, when in fact all that was wrong was the glue had failed between the body and the neck.
      I got my friend, who was an instrument maker to repair it and put it in his shop to sell. ($400).
      About a week later this young lass comes in and wants to buy it, but on time payment. Anyway, I met her and she told me how she had recently joined the recently formed Melbourne Mandolin Orchestra, that she broke and could only afford at best $200 over 4 monthly instalments. After playing the instrument, followed by some serious pleading, the deal was done.
      I often wonder if she is still part of the MMO and playing that mandolin because without an ounce of luck or a lack of curiosity, what appeared a weightless old hessian sack could of ended up as landfill. :))
      CA.

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    2. Oh my, the MMO - now that's something I haven't heard about or from for quite a long while - still around though, apparently.

      And here they are playing a little piece by Elena Kats-Chernin, another I haven't heard in many years. And here's the MMO playing a piece by her (do you perhaps recognise your "young lass" ?):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDoR04K72tI

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    3. CA/GB - thank you both for the mandolin memoranda. Quite brightened my morning. One of the good things that one arm of the ABC does (ABC Classic FM) is play much of what Elena Kaats-Chernin composes, along with Peggy Glanville-Hicks, and other talented Australian women composers.

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    4. Excellent......thank you. About all I could work out was the young lass would have been one of those elderly dears with the grey hair. :)) If I was a betting man, which I am, I would pick the woman with the long hair tied back...only because the young lass was quite a hippie type back then.
      Then again I’m a crap punter...and that is a terrible admission from someone whose fist job apart from as an 11 year old bakers runner( when Tip Top bread factory was in Balston st. St.Kilda..1950/60’s) and a paper boy,... was as a 17 year old bagman at Flemington and Provincial tracks. All I had to do was vanish when the course licence inspector lobbed.
      I think MMO was founded in late 60’s. Will consult Dr. Gogle. Cheers.CA

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    5. Excellent. Thanks for that GB. I think MMO started in mid/late 60’s.
      Will consult Dr. Gogle. I presume the young lass would be one of those grey haired dears up the back, if she is still involved. Couldn’t really get a good view of most of the mandolins.
      If I was a gambling man, which I am, and as my first real paying job, apart from being an 11 year old bakers runner and a paper boy,.....was as an underage 17 year old bagman at Flemington and provincial tracks.....I would probably pick the woman with the long hair in the ponytail as the young lass was very muck a hippie type back then. Then again, I’m still a crap punter so I wouldn’t wager more than a dollar. Cheers.CA.

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  2. Bromancer - ‘It is drawn to the lyric poetry of foreign affairs as a kind of spiritual substitute for religion’

    Well, the Nobel Committee did say that this year’s award for literature went to Louise Gluck “for her unmistakable poetic voice that with austere beauty makes individual existence universal”.

    So the Bro. should be a moral for 2021.



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    1. By 'poetic' do you think the Bro means civil or reasoned?

      He doesn't seem to understand anything that doesn't involve crude confrontations of the Trump and Onion Muncher type.

      The other Quad members must have been wracking their brains trying to avoid being forced by Pompeo into a 'lose-lose' position. Even Marise Payne was dodging around trying to avoid being cornered.

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    2. Aw, Befuddled - I take it as a compliment that you think I understand what the Bro writes. Alas, your confidence is misplaced - I have no more idea of what he is about than any other casual reader.

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    3. Not just me then? Shouldn't really expect sense from any of these guys.

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    4. “So the Bro. should be a moral for 2021”........very good!
      Out of the Bro’s sweeping full spectrum rant, that line really was the jump out alright. Maybe he was just saying that when it comes to power, sometimes you just have to bomb people into that universal democracy thingy. I too am a bit flummoxed......but ten he does have that ability to be a bigger mind fuck than one can possible expect some days.
      CA.

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    5. The sentence that Chad quotes is one of those deep and meaningful sounding expressions that only the originator - and maybe one or two similarly discombobulated souls - can "understand". But it sure reads like it should make some kind of sense, doesn't it.

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  3. The Bromancer pronounces his worship of the Donald: "...despite the crazy tweets, frantic and destabilising turnover of key administration personnel, frequent bouts of boorish personal behaviour from Trump, and numerous outright mistakes, the Trump presidency has been significantly more successful than Barack Obama's."

    If it's only a single-term presidency, it won't be "significantly more successful"; and the lies, Bro - you never give enough credit to Trump for a cascading tsunami of big and little lies. Not a single one of them believable which is why you and millions of 'Trump basers' believe every single word of all of them.

    But it was in reading today's Bromancer effort, compared with Flinty's simple minded worship yesterday, that I finally got it: the Bromancer just fervently believes that even Trump's worst farts are joyful life-giving aromatherapy for America and the world !

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    1. “Trump's worst farts are joyful life-giving aromatherapy for America and the world !”

      OK, that’s pretty funny GB,.....so maybe we can now just refer to Sheridan as the Aromabromer suppository because he is so far up Trump’s butt he may never return.
      While it appears pretty obvious that the world has taken a turn for the worse of late, Sheridan and some of the RWNJ’s have really gone quite troppo.
      CA.

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    2. Ooh, the Aromabromer, CA. Very true to life that one. But clearly, Groggy Greggy is faced with a very difficult problem: how to praise the Donald without seeming like a complete "suppository". So, don't even hint at the word "liar" and furthermore, the vast majority of Australians don't give a non-therapeutic rat's fart about what the Donnie may or may not have achieved for Americans.

      So the only thing left is how good is Trump for Aussies - and even SloMo isn't going to sink to that one. But hey, Trump will just be amazingly good for Aussies, you betcha, the Suppository says so.

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  4. Now, some quality time with Katrina Grace: "A day or so later, as the US death toll reached 211,532, reports in television claimed Trump was symptom free and had declared his infection a "blessing in disguise"."

    But Kat G. Trump lies and he lies and he lies - surely you've noticed. And he is like a 'black hole of lies' - anybody who crosses his 'Trump horizon' is sucked into a cascade of lies from which there is no escape. Not that many want to escape, like the Bromancer most of them are very happy to repeat and repeat his dissimulations. Just like a bunch of post-mortal souls singing god's praises every moment for eternity.

    But then: "Polls often are wrong, but they have Trump on track to lose the election". Well Flinty reckons a 'Trumpslide' is an absolute Monty and we know the world always turns out the opposite of what he thinks it will, so most likely the polls are right this time.

    Oh Gracie, now you've really done it though: "...responses to the pandemic have been framed along the clunky and dated left-right linear. Governments on the left can't do a thing right while governments on the right are to be admired."

    That's torn it, because like your colleagues, you too are one of "those embedded in the deepest trenches of the culture wars..."

    It's been nice knowin' ya: see you soon at the ABC.

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  5. Now here's a confession I never thought I'd encounter the Doggy Bov making. Talking about "the Pandemic", DoggyB reckons that: "Measuring risks, costs, benefits and proportionate responses has never been more difficult. Obviously, the reason our medical toll has been so modest so far is, in large part, because of the intense response."

    Oh wau, an entrenched reptile sounding as though he can see more that one aspect of context and, miraculously, more than one aspect of consequence. Now that is clearly an act of serious disloyalty for a reptile, and especially one so irredeemably "embedded in the deepest trenches of the culture wars" [ht Gracie] as the Doggy Bov.

    Much more of this and surely the Killer Creightons and Biff'em Bagarics will have him exiled into the outer reaches beyond the pale. Has he been listening to Katrina Grace perhaps ? But no, normality resurfaces quickly: "Victoria has been an incompetent and authoritarian shambles, while others are obsessively determined to keep the virus out - even if it kills them."

    Now I think its fairly clear that the 'hotel quarantine' exercise was just a bit of a shambles - much as the Ruby Princess episode was in a different place at a different time - but Victoria's response was immediate and highly effective in a way few other places have had the guts to implement. No, it shouldn't have been necessary, any more than the Feds stuffup in the Aged "Care" establishments was necessary - both were basically the result of years of having life much too easy, so brickbats to Andrews that it happened, but also bouquets for taking the tough and very unpopular measures necessary to contain and then halt it.

    So, to end off: "...Labor's main criticism of the budget was that it did not mention women enough. The bigger the governments, the smaller the minds."

    Spot on Doggy Bov, Morrison's very big government (only microscopically diminished by getting rid of Cormann) has shown that its minds are much too small to contain the thought that women do notice when they are being mistreated and that they do have the vote and that they are not all as moronic as Hanson. So I guess we'll see what, if any, effect that all has in the not too distant future.

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    1. And here's something to warm the Doggy Bov's very small brain:

      Discarded: the Australian women over 50 left to languish in poverty
      https://www.theguardian.com/business/2020/oct/10/discarded-the-australian-women-over-50-left-to-languish-in-poverty

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    2. Thinking about Holey Henry yesterday and Dogger today I am struck by their thinking that everyone should stop panicking about a potentially fatal disease and start panicking about an economic downturn.

      How many economic downturns have most of lived through and how often does the economy just bounce back?

      At the risk of being a bit unkind I could run a parallel argument to "let the oldies die" and point out that 60% of small businesses fail in the first three years and we are just bringing the inevitable forward a bit.

      No need to make that argument because anyone who is not a brain-dead scribbler for Murdoch would understand we should do both.

      Dogger is the holotype for the small-minded scribbler.

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    3. Errr - I mean we should keep the oldies alive and support the businesses, not kill both.

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    4. Don't you worry about us oldies, Bef, we're all going to snuff it sooner or later, so there's no point trying to comfort us that we just won't lose many QALYs.

      Errm, but hold on a mo', doesn't everyone, even the very young, shuffle off sooner or later ? So why would anybody want to spend good money on keeping any of them alive either ?

      Just learn to live with, and in, your world, folks, as long as it allows you to.

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