Tuesday, September 01, 2020

In which the bromancer leads the way, as he must, but the Caterist makes a generous offer, and Dame Groan is ... well, still Dame Groan ...


Before starting proceedings today, the pond would like to congratulate Melissa Iaria, who provided the first reptile response to the interim Bushfire Commission report.

Other wretched news media such as the ABC started off with climate alarmist hysteria by deigning to mention one aspect of the report:

Australia's a new emergency warning system needs to be finished quickly, the bushfire royal commission has said, after warning of "more frequent and intense" natural disasters in coming decades.

Other sites mentioned it prominently - the New Daily, MSN, and the Canberra Times:

The commission said based on the evidence it had heard, there was a clear need for greater coordination between jurisdictions, with Australia likely to experience more frequent and intense natural disasters over the coming decades.

While a number of bodies have stepped up to fill the gaps, these arrangements were not satisfactory.
"Current arrangements do not provide a clear mechanism to elevate matters to national leaders - that is, the prime minister and other first ministers of states and territories," the commission said.


And Government News also seemed to find it significant:

In its interim report handed down on Monday, the Royal Commission into National Natural Disaster Arrangements warns that Australia is likely to experience more frequent and intense natural disaster over the coming decades.

But our Melissa devoted the opening and much else of her report to the way the interim report exposed data gaps. No need to cater to climate alarmist hysteria from the new religionistas up front, though eventually she had to get around to some sort of mention:

More frequent and intense bushfires are expected over coming decades, however hundreds of thousands of Australians live in at-risk areas.
 
Well down-played grasshopper, you have learned your lesson well at the feet of your reptile overlords. What a wonderful non sequitur, what a fabulous linking of irrelevancies. Best of all, no unseemly theological hysteria, and a passing mention after just about everything else and the kitchen sink were splashed in the coverage.

But what might be causing these more frequent and intense bushfires? Not a clue; however, it might be the fault of hundreds of thousands of Australians living in at-risk areas.

Please, no mention of climate science said the astrologer to the dog botherer, we're all reptile scientists now …

And so to today's outing, and what should greet the pond but this?


Simplistic Simon at his visionary best. By voter acclaim, heil Caesar. No doubt the old folk in aged care will feel tremendously comforted.

The pond hastily moved on, because luckily the bromancer was on hand ... but what about some warm-up material before he takes the stage?

...Trump likewise reposted messages asserting that the real death toll from the coronavirus is only around 9000 — not nearly 183,000 — because the others who died also had other health issues and most were of an advanced age.

"So get this straight — based on the recommendation of doctors Fauci and Birx the US shut down the entire economy based on 9000 American deaths to the China coronavirus," said the summary of an article by the hard-line conservative website Gateway Pundit that was retweeted by the President, denigrating his own health advisers, Dr Anthony Fauci and Dr Deborah Birx.

The post was a distortion of data available on the website of the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, which reports that 6 per cent of coronavirus fatalities list only the virus on the death certificates. For other deaths, the patients had an average of 2.6 other conditions or causes of death. The statistics do not mean that they did not die because of the virus, but help explain who is most vulnerable to it.

Twitter deleted one of the tweets that Trump reposted advancing this claim, replacing it with a message: "This Tweet is no longer available because it violated the Twitter Rules."

But Trump also retweeted a message calling for Cuomo to be locked up because of the high death toll from the coronavirus in New York nursing homes earlier in the pandemic. "#KillerCuomo should be in jail," said the message by actor James Woods, a strong supporter of the President's.

And the President even "liked" a tweet that offered support for Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17-year-old Trump supporter who has been charged with homicide after two demonstrators were shot to death in Kenosha, Wisconsin. "Kyle Rittenhouse is a good example of why I decided to vote for Trump," the tweet said.


That was in The Age, which ripped it from the NY Times where the pond first read it, and it's only part of the deeply weird shit that erupted in the last Twitter rampage ...

And so the laura norder scene - vigilante killings huzzah, truth-telling huzzah, lock 'em up huzzah - is set for the comedy stylings of the bromancer ...


Um, the Donald didn't receive any significant voter bounce either, but whatever, the pond is on board with the bromancer, we must strive for victory ...



And so back to the bromancer, blessed with illustrations of sinister figures in black masks, a sure sign that the radical left is on the move ...

 Indeed, indeed, but before we get to some of those "sophisticated" commentators, please allow the pond to keep celebrating victory with a slightly odd cartoon from a usually far right cartoonist...



Did he really just suggest that the Trumpists were victims of a cult bigger than QAnon? How weird is the world of late ...

And so to the "sophisticated" commentators:


Dear sweet long absent lord, he turned to Andrew Sullivan, who recently got the boot from New York Magazine for being a general prat, and an irritating goose, and is now faced with pretending that he can again be a significant blogger and a commentator worth reading?

And there was another precious petal in The Atlantic and another in the Graudian? It was probably too much for the bromancer to stomach, to quote Michael Moore, but yes, let it be an extremely tight contest, let the bromancer have his wish, indeed let him have his victory ...


And then the bromancer and the pond can recite together that great poem ...

And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Donald J Trump, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Who knew you could bankrupt a country without a care
In the way his highness once managed with casinos fair ... 

Okay, okay, the pond is no Shelley, but the pond would like to acknowledge the ongoing efforts of Killer Creighton ...
 


Apparently the fearless Killer has taken to moonlighting as a bus driver, and refused to wear a mask, just to show the world how it's done ...

But while the pond appreciates the Killer's ceaseless, endless bravery,  the Caterist was also out and about playing the very same theme, and the pond thought it wise to socially distance, and only run with one of them ...



Of course the Caterist could set an example, and show how painless it is to die. As Sideshow Bob apparently once said, The Caterist The, but first the Caterist would like us to watch a movie ...




Triumph of the Will? Wasn't it banned from YouTube sometime ago, without much of a fuss? But it turns out that the Caterist thinks we need a good dose of entrepreneurial will, an unquenchable spirit ...


Yes, yes, the pond had to wait a long time through all that typical Caterist guff, but surely the man should be honoured.

Who knew that the man would take his own guff seriously? Who knew that after typing the words "those looking to government to solve their problems will wither and die", the Caterist immediately instructed the Menzies Research Centre to return all the funds it had received from the federal government forthwith, as an example to the world ... and to those locals in search of spirit and inspiration ...




Frankly the pond sobbed its heart out and the inspirational Caterist and his bold, brave gesture. No shrinking violet he, never risk averse, and certainly not reliant on government for his withering and dying ...

Why if you want a legendary payout for the reading of the flood waters in quarries, the Caterist is your man (pity about the house, but remember living in a tent on road, eating bucket of coal a day is what this country's all about) ...


And governments, amazingly, fund the dribble that emanates from the Caterist. What a lucky country we are ... and what a pity that we failed to follow the US model, the obvious solution to everything ...

How pleased Killer Creighton and the Caterist would be, but sssh, whatever you do, don't mention China's strict lockdown solution, which went beyond the draconian. Only the US if you please ...


 
And so to a bonus, which offers the chance for readers to guess where Dame Groan ends up as she begins one of her penny a word groans ...
 

Oh how the reptiles hate royal commissions, except where they love royal commissions, but have people guessed or worked out where Dame Groan is ultimately heading?



Indeed, indeed, but sundry governments set the international student hare loose long ago, and positively encouraged it, just as the coalition government has long championed the abandoning of regulation and the casualisation of the work force, and might soon reduce meager super so that future generations might rely on the largesse of the federal government for their pensions ...

But it turns out that all this is not particularly relevant when it comes to Dame Groan's real grievance ... instead it's the usual reptile usual, steady as the Groaning ship goes ...


Yes, it's just another reptile singalong featuring the Riddster, the Ramsay Centre, and Bjorn Lomborg, who is suddenly a respected researcher.

Remarkably if you google Lomborg, you discover that his being an author at the lizard Oz makes the front page of hits ... though you also get handy links to him being called a media personality, here,  and to this take down of his errors,  and to his presence on Desmog ... so that's something, at least before the reptiles start offering their own google ...

Oh how Dame Groan loves her denialists ... and her 'bottom line', 'overall picture', 'in summary', 'yes minister' clichés, because heck, these days she's been casualised herself and has to get by on the penny a word system ...


Yes, just why is Dame Groan no longer trading as a prof? Did someone discover that she'd become a tad eccentric in her old age?

Never mind, in light of the ongoing efforts by the will-triumphing Caterist and the Killer Creighton, as a closer the pond was pleased to see the infallible Pope highlight some of the V for Vendetta vandals, who of late have been out and about, creating confusion, chaos, as they riot and wreck things ...





12 comments:

  1. Simplistic Simon says: "Scott Morrison is now regarded by voters as the most decisive and visionary leader on a decade." And he knows this because the reptiles polled their readers.

    But perhaps it's worth just mentioning who the "leader(s) in a decade" have been since 2010 - Gillard, Abbott, Turnbull and Morrison. And sure as hell nobody is going to vote for the reptiles' favourite target Julia, so that leaves ScottyfromMarketing as the standout from The Onion Muncher, the Malfeasanced Malware and himself. Hooray, what a success !

    And in the meantime, perhaps a moment or two could be spent contemplating the true nature of "conservatives":
    https://skepchick.org/2020/08/study-conservatives-are-terrified-and-thats-why-theyre-conservative/

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    1. This has always made a lot of sense to me. Just from my own observations, conservative people don't cope well with uncertainty, they would rather 'anchor' on a clearly failed orthodoxy than risk any sort of change.

      The reptiles feed the 'availability heuristic' - lets say talking about opposition to lockdown as if it's a thing. There's not much evidence of it about but the last thing the conservative is going to do is check the numbers, they have read about it in the Oz so it must be a real issue.

      It's all a sort of destructive feedback loop, but since it's pretty much all they've got they will continue to feed the chaos.

      This seemed like reading a month of the Reptiles offering in one go:

      https://twitter.com/gregmlarsen/status/1300298591051735040

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    2. Befuddled - although I was feeling thankful to Dorothy for 'processing' the Adumbrate, the Dame, Menzies Research Centre, Benson and, and, and Sheridan, all on the one day (and thanks really isn't enough for that) I was also feeling a bit despondent. Your link to Greg Larsen shows how easy it all is, and restored my equanimity. So - gratitude to both you and Dorothy.

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    3. https://skepchick.org/2020/08/of-course-jordan-mikhaila-peterson-caught-covid-19-because-they-thought-it-wasnt-a-big-deal/

      I enjoyed the link to Skepchick,GB. In another post she offers the latest gos and travails of Jordan Peterson which includes an encounter with the Russian version of deep sleep therapy.

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    4. Yeah, have read that one, JC. The Petersens, pere et fille are quite hilarious. They make the reptiles, yes, even Moorice and Holely Henry, look certifiably sane on comparison.

      Anyway, after having read Greg Larsen, I won't have to read a reptile for at least a week ... maybe a fortnight (but not for a whole month, Bef). But there's just one small reservation: no mention of Drumpf ! Does that mean nobody thinks he's evil ?

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    5. It's hard to tell at times whether Trump is consciously evil or whether he's just insanely stupid (and maybe even moronic at least). Of course, sufficient stupidity is indistinguishable from evil and anybody in doubt about Trump should perhaps read this:
      Five bizarre moments from Trump's interview with Laura Ingraham
      https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/sep/01/donald-trump-laura-ingraham-fox-news-interview

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  2. "Dear sweet long absent lord, he turned to Andrew Sullivan, who recently got the boot from New York Magazine for being a general prat..."

    More than just being a prat, I reckon, DP:
    https://brokenbottleboy.substack.com/p/andrew-sullivan-the-polite-fascist

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    1. Good link GB and the pond thanks you for it, because wouldn't you know, "Ned" is at the Sullivan well again today

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    2. And what a small and shallow well it is, and always has been, DP. Which made, and makes, it eminently suitable for the that 'crapper of record', the NYT. So why did they get rid of him ? Unless it's to pay the likes of Brett Stevens even more.

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  3. The Bromancer: "Donald Trump has roared back into polling contention after the Republican and Democratic conventions, according to a slew of polls and analytical work in the US."

    Oh my, a "slew of polls" ("slew" btw means "turn or slide violently or uncontrollably" and yes, I guess that is the trademark of the Drumpf). Well, such are the delusions of deplorables of very little brain. And just to credit A A Milne with his full perspicacity, the quote goes: “When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”

    And that, I reckon, is just all that could, and should, be said about the Bromancer: Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday reptile who gave up the good life for Murdoch.

    Now when I said that the Petersons make even the reptiles look certifiably sane, I didn't really include Goosebumps Cater - he is definitely too far way out there. For instance: "The chance of contracting COVID-19 in Victoria at the moment is less than 0.002 per cent. If Victoria were a country, it would be the 90th least dangerous place on the planet in which to shelter from the pandemic".

    Now it's fairly tempting to call that yet another 'Paulos Fallacy': what the Cater actually means is that 0.002 per cent have been confirmed as having been COVID-19 infected. Surely, even a total noodlenut like Cater can understand that does not translate simply into a probability of catching it.

    But what Cater obviously cannot even begin to grasp (how on Earth did he ever graduate from school ?) is that the low infection rate is the result of very quick and comprehensive prevention measures enforced in Victoria. And that if those measures are prematurely terminated, then all bets are off. As indeed Victoria's premier and Chief Health Officer both keep saying. And as Cater keeps pointedly ignoring.

    But then, that is the reptile way.

    As is the way of Old Groanie who wants to just have a subhead that says: The Peter Ridd experience and then continues: "And for every Peter Ridd, there are countless academics who stay mum ..."

    Oh I dunno, Groanie, but I reckon each and every university can and has counted its academics, don't you. But good to see that just the mere mention - a one and a half liner - is all you need to project. Surely everybody in Australia now knows about Ridd and consequently reviles academia and worships the Aus reptiles ?

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  4. Ah, GB - you had me read the Cater. MADE me read the Cater, to try to work out what he thought he had worked out about 'chance of contracting COVID-19 in Victoria'. Now, he says 'at the moment'. Let us take the moment as sometime yesterday. On that day, Victoria recorded 73 new cases. In a population of 6 490 000. Most people would understand a raw 'chance', as of yesterday (set aside clustering and all that other inconvenient biology - this is a sociologist doing his thing) - a raw chance of 1 in 100 000. Or, if like, a .00001 probability.

    I was going to write 'I cannot see any point in converting such numbers to percentage' - but readers might have thought I was making a deliberate pun, so I won't write that. But it leaves the question - why a percentage?

    The other question is, if we are 'at the moment' - where did he get his 2? Perhaps he thinks (OMG - here I am trying to think like the Cater!) that this 'chance' of which he writes, at any moment, is calculated from the cumulative number of cases in Victoria - 19 080 yesterday. But that gives a raw value of .0029, and a sociologist surely would be familiar with rounding to significant values - no?

    So, having read the Cater contribution I am as mystified as I was from his masterly analysis of flash flood hydrography in Queensland.

    Oh - neat observation on the Dame's 'countless' bit of hyper-bowl. I did get a chortle out of that, although that didn't quite compensate for having to read the Cater.

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    1. I do have to confess, Chad, that ignoring any putative connection with Paulos it was mostly likely to be just a non-numerical Cater stupidity. But gracias for the analysis.

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