Some might think sleeping pill, some might think a couple of glasses of wine, but Dr Pond has never found a better soporific than nattering "Ned" …
Sure, it's quackery - the pond got its medical degree where the dog botherer learned climate science - but it's proven and efficacious in at least nine out of ten times, and it's all the more effective the more that "Ned" turns Chicken Little or Nervous Nellie, and begins to run around in circles exuding a strange kind of reptile hysteria of the "we'll all be rooned" kind.
For some peculiar reason, the mere sight is enough to produce a therapeutic relaxation. Please, take a sample, allow the pond's medicine to work its wiles …
You see, it's working already. Once upon a time the pond would itself have got agitated at that third rate illustration, an insult to the eyes, provided as a feeble substitute to the work of the cult master, but these days the pond just sighs and rolls over, or begins to read, whatever, wake me up when it's over ...
For the life of the pond, it hasn't got the first clue where "Ned's" anxiety syndrome comes from. Everybody knows the virus went away in April, and it's all under control, and if you don't test, you won't find any cases …
Some might doubt this science, but the pond has it from a guaranteed Chairman Rupert-approved and backed source … yet "Ned" still insists on being alarmed ...
The pond hates to drag in a heavy hitter like the immortal Rowe so early in proceedings, as many might wander off to see more Rowe here, but he's pointed out that we're all on a show ground fun ride thanks to Fox News and Chairman Rupert and their appointed leader …
Whee, as we used to say when the octopus landed at the Tamworth show, but still "Ned" insists on worrying ...
The European model? It's true, what a disaster. We should be emulating the US model …
Now some might complain that nattering "Ned" has pulled a switcheroo, and introduced an even more tedious voice into the conversation, a man who never had the ticker, but that's all part of the soothing lullaby of white noise ...
Yes, everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds, though "Ned" still seems a little unnerved … but there are solutions, and they certainly don't involve those dreadful Europeans …
By about this time, most readers will note that "Ned's" main role is to transcribe the thoughts of others, most importantly the thoughts of the Liberal party … throwing up the occasional straw dog of fear, before being calmed by the soothing words that everything's going to work out for the best...
Ah, those terrible Europeans again, when all along we had the right model to follow, Chairman approved, certified and guaranteed …
By now, most people will have nodded off, but those who employed the old cartoon matchstick in the eyelid trick, or perhaps resorted to Clockwork Orange equipment, will probably make it through the final gobbet ...
But, billy goat, butt, everything is under control … Chairman Rupert's delegate has assured the pond, and it's a fact ...
Listening to "Ned" drone on reminded the pond that every day there's a new form of hell being devised or refined …
A nice idea, but the pond prefers to connect readers with nattering "Ned".
Sure, that talk of double standards doesn't make much sense. There were protests in NSW as big as those in Victoria, and in Victoria, the outbreaks have occurred in suburban areas disinclined to protest, and the numbers directly related to the protests have been relatively, and remarkably small. But who knows, if minorities can produce such startling results, why, if just a few people read the pond, they might well pass on an anti-Murdochian virus that will soon sweep the world …
As for those illustrations, which suggest a rag on very hard times, just look at these wretched examples, the last one not even signed ...
The pond had to ignore the oscillating fan falling in love with Scottie from marketing, and Clive's quaint reference to Commie reds - as if China and Xi are somehow still remotely commie and we must hark back to the 1950s to describe a totalitarian regime with a dictator at the helm … because above all else, the pond needed a dose of good old-fashioned reptile climate science denialism
The best thing about doing science with the dog botherer is that he has absolutely no scientific training. As a result, he inevitably resorts to concepts he understands better, like religion … and what do you know, a standard fool's mate dog botherer opening lands, honed by years of mindless repetition ...
The pond loves the way that the dog botherer segues from talk of religion to talk of the IPCC, as if somehow he's suddenly turned into some kind of scientist by the experience … when everybody knows he's been a climate science denialist from way back when, and his reference to The Castle is about as close to the scientific literature as he likes to get …
But speaking of the vibe thing, and being a bit more specific, there's been a vibe going on up north, which the pond is almost certain the dog botherer won't deal with ...
Now there's an interesting phenomenon, and there's some interesting reading about it at The Graudian ...
Well for the slow bit, why not head off here? It allows for nuance, andy it doesn't start off by blathering about religion.
And then there's the New York Times, here ...
Of course confronted with specifics, the dog botherer's favourite tactic is to retreat into arcane contemplation of an infinite array of variables, and perhaps a Hail Mary and an Our Father …or even the Nicene Climate Denialist Creed ...
Apparently anybody in the dog botherer's world who takes an interest in climate science - unless guided by his denialism - become "activists", people who are actually a little concerned by what they've seen and experienced. You know, the vibe, the specifics ...
Well that won't do, talking to people actually on the spot, and noting what's happening. Why not instead contemplate a bit of fluff extracted from the dog botherer's belly button?
But as the pond has detailed in these pages, the dog botherer monotonously, repetitively insists on quoting Andy Pitman as if Pitman didn't in fact regret and amend his initial statement, not least because morons from the dog botherer school of science seized on his words, and twisted, distorted, used and abused them …
More here, but that was more than seven months ago, and the pond feels like keeping the vibe going with its trip to Russia ...
No, it's not scary if you happen to be a dog botherer, firmly in the grip of your own delusions ...
Over a decade, the dog botherer's climate science denialism hasn't advanced very far. It's still the same old, same old, just a decade or more of an old, soggy salad of of half-baked ideas (yes, you can bake a salad in dog botherer land), flung together each week with only one aim - to befuddle and confuse.
Frankly, the pond would rather be off in Russia looking at the vibe coming from specific events ...
They can no longer say for sure?
What they need is a dog botherer. He might be fucking clueless, but he can say for sure … and suddenly the pond was back in that loop featuring Bukowski, Russell and Yeats, and dickheads full of passionate stupidity, saying for sure without a clue what they were so sure about, made worse by their pretending that they grasped the complexities of climate science … provided it was understood that nothing was changing, and there's nothing to see, no vibe, no specifics … and above all, in a week where Siberia provided an interesting experience for a lot of Russians, not a fucking word about it ...
Well, the ancient, senile one is just getting so very soporific - a regular dose of Nullius Ned and nobody would ever need sleeping pills. So, consider his wisdom of the day for today: "That initial joy we felt a month ago that "things are opening up" is now tinged with harsh realism: short of a vaccine, there is no return to normal."
ReplyDeleteWau, who could fault that incredible perspicacity: "that initial joy". Except that I for one - amongst many I do believe - felt no joy at all, just a more or less vague unease precisely because "short of a vaccine". How long, do we reckon, before just the very most basic beginning of a sense of reality creeps into the consciousness of a reptile ? Well, given Doggy Bov's contribution, I think the answer, roughly speaking, is never.
And just for a small observation: when things change significantly, Ned, there's never a "return to normal", at least not in the simplistic way you and yours think of it.
So Neddy will continue to bleat that "whatever SloMo does is right" and "whatever Albanese says is wrong" until the 12th of never (and that's a long, long time).
So enough of that total waste of tempo, let's get on to the other illusional, collusional delusional, the Doggy Boverer. Now DP you do try to take him to task about a link between drought and climate change. But do note that, having had his nose rubbed in it, he now does actually say "Andy Pitman - no climate sceptic - has said there is no direct link between climate change and the drought." So he has actually picked up on Pitman's word change ... except that what Doggy Bov means is "there is no connection at all" which is, of course, completely the opposite of what Pitman is actually saying.
But then, "interpreting" other people's words to mean the opposite of what was actually said is a basic skill required of, and proudly exhibited by, all reptiles.
Truly, however, the DB's main lie is this one: "First you would have to demonstrate that these fires [Black summer] were exacerbated by climate change, even though this country has seen worse conditions, worse bushfires (these were the worst on record only in NSW) and much heavier death tolls."
So that's it then: the Black summer fires were the worst in NSW only, and because more people died back when we didn't have radio broadcast and online warnings, roads and highways for people to use their own vehicles to escape, fire fighting helicopters and aeroplanes and a large and highly mobile - with well equipped fire fighting trucks - volunteer and professional force of fire fighters, then obviously it was the fire back then that did it all.
Just for a wee comparison though: "By the end of January, more than 11 million hectares of bush, forest and parks had burnt nationally. To give an idea of scale, the 2019 Amazon fires, which saw a mass mobilisation of media outpouring and political scrutiny, burnt 890,000 hectares. Australia’s 2009 Black Saturday fires, which were some of the largest and most devastating bushfires in the nation’s history, burnt 450,000 hectares.
The extended fire season was devastating."
https://www.monash.edu/__data/assets/pdf_file/0009/2121111/Black-Summer-Australian-newspaper-reporting-of-the-nations-worst-bushfire-season.pdf
So there we are: you name it and the reptiles will lie about it. Ooops, no, to correct myself, they will "inadvertently speak untruths" about it.