Monday, June 22, 2020

In which the Major leads off the Monday reptile pack ...


The pond was outraged by the shabby treatment of the Major this Monday, tucked away under an EXCLUSIVE … no doubt the reptiles will do the right thing and put him in a position of greater prominence later in the day, as befitting a Major with an important message ...


Economic stability? The Donald? Stability?



More Rowe here, but don't get the pond wrong, the pond is with the Major. 

Four more years of the snake oil selling narcissist Donald and his corrupt cronies should just about see the United States completely fucked. Sure it's completely fucked now, but four more years will really finish off the job in style, and the pond is keen to see it happen ...


Dan was on the right track? Et tu Major? 

But what of the Ramsay Centre and Western Civilisation and important dead white male writers and the study of ancient Latin and the Enlightenment and all the rest that the reptiles blathered on about for years, in company with the onion muncher?

Now we should all be nurses? Ah, well, who cares about reading books and all that jazz?



Frankly the pond has begun to get extremely worried about the way that the reptiles are being allowed to roman freely on the intertubes … grazing where they will …picking up conspiracy theories from fringe sites at random ...


Weird shit, but in the Major's next line, shit gets even weirder, if the pond can just get past this cartoon …


Think again? Is it possible or wise to think at all with the Major? Is it wise for teachers to learn to think, when they can just bray in rote fashion like the Major? Can't we all just become parrots again, and take the Major Mitchell as our model? Or some other galah if you prefer their colouring ...

Not a clue, but that's our Major for you.

The pond was then confronted by a problem. Who should follow on from such an astonishing and potent and pleasing denunciation of the Ramsay Centre and that Enlightenment malarkey and all that Western Civilisation nonsense that the pond had endured for far too long?

Of course the Oreo was there to put up her hand, apparently rediscovering her radical leftist feminist roots and a deep caring and concern for the working class ...


But actually the recovering reformed feminist didn't care so much about the working class as doing a standard predictable trashing of the Labor party. and besides the pond had a most excellent, positively brill piece by Tezza left over from the weekend … even the title was a ripper ...


Yes, the pond didn't have to dig up that classic photo, and the pond hastens to add that "twittering twerp" should in no way be taken as a reference to the Donald ...


Ripper stuff, especially with the news from Siberia, but the comments were great too ...


That's why the pond always turns to the reptiles first for its science … or at least its scientific denialism … come on Tezza, show us that you know how to do alliteration like a depraved dinosaur dingbat doing a diatribe...


Indeed, indeed, or even sweet fuck-all, but please, let us have some comment, cough, cough, ahem, from Tezza's devoted readers ...


Virtue signalling! At least one parrot knew what to say, even if Tezza's more into "Fake News" ...


A great write, a great read, and what would the clowns know?


Yes, don't worry about sending in the clowns or losing your timing this late in your career, clown McCrann is here, and once he hits on an alliterative like "twittering twerps", he'll sock it to you at least twice …

And now having sorted out education and climate science and the future of the planet, it's time to sort out uppity, tricky, difficult blacks, and who better than the dog botherer?



Now the pond expressed a little anxiety about allowing the reptiles to go free range on the intertubes, even if allowing chooks to go free range might producer a better class of egg ...


Now all that's good and proper, and the dog botherer has certainly begun to sort out those uppity ranting blacks and their subversive content, which is why we needed a subversive dog botherer rant, but that's when the ranting began to get interesting for the pond ...


You see the problem? The pond looked up that anonymous University of California history professor, and came across the weirdest sources …


You don't get much weirder or more out there than Tracy Beanz … unless maybe it's True News Hub, because the moment you hear "True News", you know it must be fake up the wazoo, or at least the Nile river ….

Talk about outlets … Breitbart, OANN, and such like, and Steve Bannon a hovering ghost, and who let the dog botherer out? Who, who?


The pond began to wonder if the dog botherer had been pwned,  or at least owned, and the doubts came think and fast when the pond read "It is a brilliant letter, verified by other professors."

Now it's true that the pond is a brilliant blog, verified by other bloggers, but just who are those other bloggers, and why do the buggers insist on remaining anonymous?

Sadly, the dog botherer doesn't get around to citing those other professors, or explaining why he thinks he's found a meaningful contribution to the debate … but perhaps that's because the dog botherer really isn't just play-acting a dumb fuck, he really is one ...


Nobody does satire like the dog botherer, but sadly going with him meant that the pond had to give up on the satire of our biblical Luke, suggesting that knocking down the Parthenon or the pyramids might be a brill idea … when all the pond was suggesting was smashing down News Corp ...


There's much more, equally witty, but the pond has run out of time and space …

There was however an utterly brill illustration that went with the piece, so the pond can at least share that ...


Well, if you imagine that peripteral as a building in Surry Hills …but wasn't the Parthenon more Doric than Ionic?

Oh what the fuck, better get back to doing the plumbing with the Major ...

And now because the pond is always standing by, ready to help …




2 comments:

  1. So the Major orders (is what Majors do) that schools provide a sound footing in the 'three Rs'. Two of these, as we privates understand it, do not begin with an 'r', but the Major then cautions that one other actual 'r' - racism - seems too political, and hints at a hierarchy of evils for condemnation, which places murder, rape and theft above racism. Is he having difficulty distinguishing between his 'r's and his elbow?

    Chadwick

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  2. "Sure it's [ie the United States] completely fucked now, but four more years will really finish off the job in style, and the pond is keen to see it happen ..."

    Right with you there, DP, right with you all the way.

    So, starting with Maj. Mitch. we have this totally blindsided "observation": "Even middle class African Americans may surprise the New York Times and The Washington Post by voting for economic stability, rather than violent protest."

    Now given that 100% of African Americans have never voted Democrat - not even when self-preservation indicates that they should - I think we can take it for granted that some African Americans will vote for Trump and some won't vote at all. So really, Maj., it's not whether, it's how many. and the indications are still that a very large majority of African Americans will vote - at least where they haven't been disenfranchised by the GOP - and will vote Democrat. And that many will quite happily support "violent protest" under the present circumstances.

    And oh boy, isn't Tezza a gem. Even more sociopathic than the Bolter and that's on one of his good days. But does Tezza have any idea at all what's going on in the world ? Well he never has, so why start now.

    But he does like his schoolboy cliches - indeed that's all he likes - such as: "when the wind don't blow, the power don't flow". Obviously Tezza has no idea that the wind blows about 100% of the time (especially on the East Gippsland coast), and more regularly and stronger the higher up you go; which is why wind generator towers are built very high.

    Unfortunately, he does have a point about the biomass: "renewable" it is, "carbon neutral" it most surely isn't.

    As for the Doggy Bov, it's just the usual blind-minded bleat about how BLM is just so terrible and unjustified. And he really does love his little lies: "George Floyd was a convicted criminal who had been imprisoned many times, including serving five years for an offence that involved threatening a pregnant woman at gunpoint."

    Yep, no doubt about it, them darkies are just walking cauldrons of evil, and it's not the fault of the predominantly white police that they are imprisoned for "crimes" that would just earn a whitey a reprimand or maybe a bit of a community service order. But did he put a gun to the stomach of a pregnant woman ? He was convicted for the robbery which involved a gun, but there is simply no reason to think the woman was pregnant. The whole story of Floyd's life is just a little complex and sad. You can read the whole story here:
    Background Check: Investigating George Floyd’s Criminal Record
    The question of past arrests often surfaces among people who want to rationalize police officers' actions when Black men are killed in custody.

    https://www.snopes.com/news/2020/06/12/george-floyd-criminal-record/

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