Tuesday, April 07, 2020

In which the pond spends quiet quality time with the Caterist and Dame Groan ...

 


It's impossible not to admire the diligence of the hagiographic reptiles, but the pond particularly liked the bouffant one remembering that the virus is all a matter of politics, and if Labor had only argued for shaking hands and heading off to the footy, how much more ahead of the curve they would have been …

But enough of the reptiles at worship, because for some reason the Caterist was out and about this day - the pond was shattered, because it's been too long since we've heard from the bromancer …


It has to be said that the Caterist was a tad subdued this day, and the reptiles must have caught the mood, because they only assigned a Jellett illustration ...


Well it's not the cult master, that's for sure and the pond wondered if it might be because the Caterist was feeling a little Walden-ish …


Why was the pond so jaded? Well, just how many times can the reptiles pick on the Kiwis in order to fill up a column?


Does any of this strike anyone as a little odd? Was it only a few days ago that the reptiles were raging at the Orwellian police state and the oppressive big brother government, and the IPA was furious, and our Adam was lending a sympathetic ear …


Yes, it was only 22 hours ago, and it was an EXCLUSIVE by our Adam …

More reptile mixed messaging designed to confuse the pond, and yet how smoothly they slide from intolerable edicts to Caterist talk of the liberal approach, with an inclination to make incremental steps torward a goal, rather than heroic leaps into the fascist Kiwi authoritarian unknown …

The pond is always reminded of that 'shape of a camel' story when reading the reptiles, on the proviso that our fearless leader will somehow always come out on top ...


But what happens if the backpacker on Bondi beach happens to be a carrier and comes into contact with someone in their 80s?

Ah, it's another way to confuse the pond, and in the end, yet another reptile argument for everybody getting back out and about as soon as possible, because the virus is done down - the quarry flood water diviner knows it for a fact - and never mind the image of the handshaking Boris hovering over the landscape …

Why it was time to bring out the Rowe, with more Rowe here


And so to some filler from Dame Groan. The pond is ashamed to admit that it doesn't spend enough quality time with Dame Groan, but this splash seemed unnaturally sunny and cheerful …


What a relief. No need to worry about amassing debt any more, the pond can hit the town like a drunken sailor, and spend, spend, spend ...


Indeed, indeed, and the pond suddenly drifted back in time to another era …


And now back into the time machine for the present ...


Oh yes, indeedy, and what wise words Dame Groan had for us in the past …


The pond could have quoted more, could have found more columns rabbiting on about debt - Dame Groan carried on about it endlessly - but it was enough to have those samples just so the pond could repeat Dame Slap's impeccable logic. We now welcome debt, we can amass debt until the cows come home, all will be well, the spring will follow the winter, and yes, there might have to be higher taxes, but why worry?


And that's how to be sanguine and cheerful, with a high taxing government taking direct action and not a bit worried about the debt …and all the pond can wonder is, where was this Dame Groan just a few years ago?

Truly SloMo can do anything, and the reptiles will quickly do a few hasty revisions of their indecisions, and cheer him on …

And now the pond has a final bone to pick …even if it's with a satirist …


Surely not, surely the dog botherer has a lock on the prize … why only a few short days ago, the doggie molestor turned up in the lizard Oz, and so the pond, and was full of sage medical advice …



Must it be left to the pond to nominate this intrepid medical pioneer for the Nobel Prize in Medicine? Will no one else recognise his expertise?

What's that you say, he's just a futtock following in the footsteps of the Donald?


Well, it's your choice. Dr Trump, or Dr Dog Botherer … further reading to help with the decision here,  and as you decide, the pond will settle for a few cartoons …



14 comments:

  1. Just a quick interposition before settling down for the long haul, but about Troy's and PVO's stuff, it may be worth noting that even the Donald has risen in the ratings (not enough to overtake Biden though). And for the benefit of the wanna-be commentators, perhaps somebody could point out to them the phenomenon known as "rally round the flag". And if somebody is so kind, it might also be pointed out that throughout history, most 'war leaders' have had much bigger 'popularity' boosts.

    Except maybe Menzies back in October 1941. But then it was after 13 months of WWII.

    Anyway, here's a comment about world class leadership that ScottyfromMarketing should take very close to heart:
    But how can we assess Ardern's leadership in making such difficult decisions? A good place to start is with American professors Jacqueline and Milton Mayfield's research into effective leadership communication.

    The Mayfields' research-based model highlights "direction-giving", "meaning-making" and "empathy" as the three key things leaders must address to motivate followers to give their best.

    Being a public motivator is essential for leaders — but it's often done poorly. The Mayfields' research shows direction-giving is typically over-used, while the other two elements are under-used.


    https://theconversation.com/three-reasons-why-jacinda-arderns-coronavirus-response-has-been-a-masterclass-in-crisis-leadership-135541

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    1. Someone or other observed that "New Zealand only exists to make us feel bad about ourselves". It’s certainly true now.

      Slomo is like that disruptive kid that submits his homework on time for once and gets a gold star as positive reinforcement.

      Directions - are issued as riddles. Explanations remind me a bit of Hewson's birthday cake (in fairness, the LNP white-anted is policy).

      Meaning - is almost indecipherable. Has anyone seen the modelling yet?

      Empathy - Where would you start? Buggering off in the middle of a crisis? Forcing traumatised people to take part in a photo op? etc etc etc

      All I can see is a guy who has to sprint around the front of the pack occasionally so it looks like he is leading but someone else is really setting the pace.

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    2. I see that, according to Newspoll, SloMo's gold star was worth a 20 point jump in Aussie approval rating (up to 61%) compared with Trump's very meager 5 point boost.

      Of course 'flag rally' approval levels generally diminish fairly quickly once the 'emergency' is declared to be over.

      Which I guess is why Orwell's Oceania is in a state of perpetual war.

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  2. GB - thank you for the pointer to the Mayfields. One might have thought that someone claiming qualifications in sociology (the Cater) might have found this a fertile area for the weekly column. But clearly the contributors have consulted the innards of some hapless sacrifice and seen that the mighty being requires them to put the Prime Minister of some small islands in her place. Or to show that she doesn’t really have a place.

    Then there was Dame Groan’s reversion to Economics .505. We might take it as an attempt to redraft Economics 1.01, but it does not get near even that minor destination. She writes about economists ‘pontificating about the merits and drawbacks of particular policy interventions.’

    Something that has gone unremarked is that, well within living memory, governments developed policy by issuing green papers to outline the issue, and offer some possible initiatives, for discussion, before proceeding to a white paper - a plan for action.

    Economists, within and outside government, would be involved in preparing the green paper. To do that, they would help define the issue, and consider all the possible ways of dealing with it. Other economists could apply their training to the green paper when it was printed, and those involved in drafting it might reply. That was what economists did, if they were true to their craft.

    Economists who saw the exercise as ‘pontificating about . . . particular policy interventions’ almost invariably were in the employ of industry lobby groups, or ideological think tanks. Their responses displayed tunnel vision, and were written in wholly predictable style. In as much as the proposal in the green paper affected (insert name of industry) it would destroy that industry in remarkably short time, without redress. Because of fanciful multiplier effects, every industry in any way linked with (insert name) would be gravely affected, and the entire economy would be put at risk. Oh, and there would be not a single ‘merit’ to any part of the proposal.

    It is too glib to call that process ‘prostitution’. As the wise man has said - at least the prostitute does provide a service.



    Other Anonymous

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    1. Oh dear, OA, nostalgia rampant: the days of green and white papers and rational derivation of all the possible options and solutions in the hope that one might be found to be practical and desirable.

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    2. As another wise man has said, GB - 'Nostalgia ain't what it used to be'.

      Other Anonymous - sitting back with faraway look on his face.

      Delete
  3. On fanciful ‘multipliers’. My source has sent me something from today’s column by the Associate Editor (Business). It advises the reader, almost breathlessly, that Andrew Liveris has been appointed to the ‘National COVID-19 Co-ordination Commission’ . Apparently because of an interview with - of course - ‘The Australian’. My source did not trouble herself to track down the earlier interview, because the item of interest was a new, mighty, multiplier.

    Seems that the new appointee has tried a bit of personal ‘green paper’, setting out all his good ideas to be ‘Co-ordinated’. In particular ‘Petrochemicals should be a no-brainer for this country. . . . . it is a job multiplier. For every one job in terms of energy input, you can get an output of eight jobs in the industry.’

    I tried a quick ‘G…le’ of the worthy Commission, but could not find entries since around March 26, so not sure what other members might have been added through the influence of ‘The Australian’.

    While my source (and I) do not quite understand Mr Liveris’ multiplier of energy for jobs, the enticing ratio of 8 for 1 absolutely trumps (pun intended) Henry’s 2/3 for 1/3 - so we are guessing that Henry is not likely to be appointed to the ‘NCCC’.

    Other Anonymous.

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    1. Our Henry has been overlooked ? Without having even been properly looked over ?

      Oh, the capriciousness of the privileged and powerful. But at least Henry will still be able to give his full attention to his reptile ramblings, so we are blessed in that way.

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  4. The Cater: "Taking the restrictions [social distancing and isolation] away could swamp our health service."

    Might seriously swamp our graveyards and crematoriums too.

    Then he gives us: "Allowing normal economic free movement, on the other hand, means the virus will also run free, putting the elderly and sick at risk"

    We keep getting this one, don't we; how its just the "elderly and sick". But if you look at the actual 'Age-specific rate (Cases per 100,000)' you find this:
    20-29yo - 32.1; 30-39yo - 23.0; 40-49yo - 21.2; 50-59yo - 27.4; 60-60yo - 34.6; 70-79yo - 31.5; over 80yo - 7.8
    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-17/coronavirus-cases-data-reveals-how-covid-19-spreads-in-australia/12060704

    So, does that tell us anything ? Well it does more or less say that most Australians are susceptible, but the least susceptible are the 80-plus folks. And the kids of course: under 10yo - 1.7; 10-19yo - 5.1.

    Now mind you, of Australia's 45 deaths, almost all are 60 years old or older, but that's likely because the majority of Australia coronavirus cases have come from overseas, many on cruise ships that the older folks tend to dominate. But give that 30 to 59 year age group time - they'll start appearing sooner or later.

    Now onto Dame Groan. I can see that you are just a wee bit dubious, even cynical perhaps, over this Dame Groan Mk 1 and Dame Groan Mk 2 phenomenon, DP, but really, she has explained it all in one short, precise sentence: "The line has to be drawn somewhere."

    Now think of the implications: it's not that 'valid and accepted science shows that the line must be drawn here' or even that 'decency and humanity shows that the line should be drawn there'. Oh no, none of that wishy-washy stuff: the line is drawn exactly where the Groan, from day to day and year to year, determines that it should be drawn now.

    So simple really, and thus the reptile press isn't really "betraying" it's readers, it's just drawing the line at today's somewhere.

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  5. "Independent modelling not yet finalised shows...". For someone who writes for payment, Cater doesn't understand language very well. "Independent" of whom? Is "independent" modelling better or worse than other modelling? "not yet finalised shows"? I don't think Cater is cognisant of the meaning of "finalised". "shows"? Modelling of a pandemic that is three weeks old doesn't show, it at best indicates.
    That's just analysing six words. As they say in Fawlty Towers, "there's a whole conference there".

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  6. Joe - No doubt you have seen that 'Wiki' shows Cater receiving a degree in sociology in 1980, but no evidence of any further attempt at research in that field. Nor did I see any sign of it in his rip-off of Donald Horne, but I did not read that in any detail. I am not sure how many people actually did, except by accident.

    I have friends who are practicing sociologists, and my understanding is that analytical methods did not really develop until personal computers started to acquire real power in the 1990s. So we might assume much of that bypassed the Executive Director of the Menzies Research Centre. That does leave open what his direct contribution might be to Menzies Research, but right now he might be more occupied running chook raffles to pay his tab in the Wagner proceedings. Which, come to think of it, was another area in which he showed no great capacity to gather and analyse data.

    Other Anonymous

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    1. I, for at least one, am fascinatedly waiting to find out just how Goosebumps Cater will pay his Wagner impost. Or who or what will pay it for him, since I don't imagine that the Menzies Research Centre has anywhere near the requisite amount just sitting around idle.

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  7. Hi DP, It’s wonderful to see the Caterist in a panic. I get the sense he feels his authority is being eroded daily by the deep reality of dealing with an economically ignorant global pathogen. The opening paragraph of his piece confirms his desperation with a blatant lie about Kiwis put under a bonking ban, and an idiotic statement concerning their inability to continue gardening and “decorating” their homes. No wonder the editor refused him a Lobbecke and slapped a plodding effort from Cryptographer’s Apprentice Jellett onto his column.

    For a start, consider his deliberately misleading statement that New Zealand’s Chief Medical Officer “…signed an order that classed sexual intimacy as non-essential.” As far as I can tell, that specific order from last Friday makes no mention anywhere of sexual intimacy.

    See it here - https://covid19.govt.nz/assets/resources/Legislation-and-key-documents/COVID-19-Section-701f-Notice-to-all-persons-in-New-Zealand-3-April-2020-v2.PDF

    Also, since when does gardening stop dead because of closed shops? My wife and I usually garden every day and we haven’t been to a garden centre for months. And who really gives a fuchsia about home “decorating” when there’s a virocalypse hanging over us?

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    1. One does wonder where the reptiles get their 'fake news' from - having now read the order (thanks for the link) I can only surmise that it's the old English vs German law thing: what isn't specifically permitted is thereby prohibited, and the order doesn't specifically permit visiting a lover or partner for sex or just for mutually affectionate contact.

      So I guess a literal minded simpleton like the Cater could interpret it the way he has. But at least the NZ order doesn't specifically forbid lover/partner visits as the Victorian one initially did.

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