Uh oh … don't the reptiles even read their own EXCLUSIVES?
Note the "may be" in the header of that that EXCLUSIVE …
… which reminds the pond of where it left off so suddenly last week, with the Major scribbling away, and concluding thusly …
Judgement? A reptile talking of judgement?
Never mind, the pond apologises for its sudden, unexplained, almost inexplicable and abrupt absence from the full to overflowing intertubes, and the disruption to the supply of reptile news, though to be fair, that’s a bit like a dealer apologising to a junkie for failing to deliver an overdose of impure death-dealing crack cocaine, or a member of the Sacklers’ family pretending they cared about relieving pain when they were more interested in making money out of filling morgues, or a tobacco manufacturer experiencing a failure in the supply of coffin nails hurting the funeral business, or the IPA and Dame Slap assuring you that tobacco is definitely good for your health, or them and the Bolter urging you to put a little more carbon in the air because it’ll be good for the crops… presumably in the same way that they think reptile manure nurtures the planet.
And so on and on, but having pounded that metaphorical joke to death, in the same way that the reptiles routinely club sanity and climate science into an amorphous mess of blood and tissue, the pond merely notes that things went awry with the internet, much too tedious to talk about, except to re-state a deep fear and loathing of Telstra and Malware. To be fair, after on the ground, hands-on discussions with Telstra's proudly local, dinkum service centre in Cebu, the repairmen who eventually turned up were good, and pleased the pond by joining in abuse of Malware and the useless system they were required to maintain, but let’s face it, rabbiting on endlessly about the abundant deficiencies of the HFC can be boring, and the pond has no interest in tedious repetition.
The pond could have tried to find a den full of geeks hiring computers by the half hour, but they've gone the way of frozen yoghurt, and the local library isn't set up for much apart from skimming the headlines ...
Besides, while out of the loop, the pond experienced a glorious sense of freedom. So this was what it was like to do a Unabomber and drop out into the woods …
But then the Unabomber was a tad crazy, so let’s not go there, or even watch the recent documentary series, compelling though it might be.
Instead, the pond hastens to make good, and if crack cocaine, opiods, tobacco or overproof rum isn’t your poison, then how about a bit of mainlining reptiles?
Already feeling like there are too many puncture marks? Was glad the pond went away? Felt like the dealer on the corner had disappeared, and you were like a recovering alcoholic somewhere on the ninth step?
Oh come on, try a little reptile moonshine, try shooting into the eyeball, or the nasal cavity, or in some erogenous zone, because the pond loves to deliver cheap thrills …and is there anything cheaper than a whack of the Caterist viral strain straight into the veins, even if it's full of ersatz Menzies germs ...
See if you can spot him amongst all the reptile alarums, pace the Major's talk of a media circus panic …
Ah the perfidious Chinese, how silly of the pond not to realise.
But no doubt the Caterist will balance the ledger, and also look, in his fair and balanced reptile way, at the deeds of the Donald ...
Hmm, the Caterist didn't go the full Bronnie, though the pond was astonished to see what the full Bronnie meant in last night's Media Watch …
And there was a question attached to the end of that Bronnie yarn …
So will the Caterist be sidelined? Of course not, no chance. And of course the man who is so expert in the movement of flood waters in quarries is a regular reptile guest, and it's on to his second gobbet ...
Sad … somehow in this survey, the Caterist seems to be ignoring the epic response of the Donald and his administration, but luckily, The New Yorker sent through an email to the pond this morning featuring David Rennick's Trump in the Time of The Coronavirus … (may be paywall affected) …
Well you can't expect to see any of that nonsense in the lizard Oz … but at least there's some good news.
The pond knows enough of the Reader's Digest to know that laughter is the best medicine (come to think of it, that's all the pond knows since the dentist shifted over to Time magazine), and it has spent the last day catching up on the immortal Rowe, as always with more here …
That's more than enough good humour to help the pond make it through the final Caterist gobbet …
Say what?
Keep the Caterist and those Yanks on the ship, it's the only way to keep the Donald's numbers down.
Bugger protecting its citizens, the reptiles and Fox News are tirelessly working for a regime intent on controlling the narrative to save its own skin …
Loons everywhere, and doesn't a crisis bring them out, and yes the pond made it to the end without mentioning toilet paper …
The pond will drink to that, and might even go for a drive, just to see if it can pick up a DUI, but not before imbibing on a few infallible Popes, because after doing some community service, it seems some papal insights returned during the pond's absence …
"Judgement? A reptile talking of judgement?"
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable, isn't it ? But just as you disappeared, there was some discussion about political journalists and who is the best of breed in Australia. So in response to your questions, I thought I'd just interject an example of amazing reptile judgement in the matter of appointing 'Political Editors' as follows:
Talking about great political journalists such as Andrew Street, we should all touch our caps to acknowledge the ascension of Tom Minear to the position of "State Political Editor" for the Melbourne Herald-Sun. He's just replaced Ellen Whinnett in the role, she having been sent off to become a weekend investigative journalist, whatever that is.
But the key point was the illustrious career that Tom has had. The Herald-Sun listed his peerless accomplishments as:
1. Exposing Victoria's Corrections Minister Steve Herbert's use of his taxpayer funded driver to chauffeur his pet dogs (oh, how heinous)
2. An investigation into Melbourne teens joining Islamic State
3. A campaign for compulsory school swimming lesson (think how many lives that will save)
4. Outing the then Opposition Leader Bill Shorten for texting and driving (that's texting and driving at the same time !)
Such fine, outstanding achievements. Surely he must be credited as Australia's best political journalist for the nation's most popular newspaper.
Ok, so now on with the usual reptile agenda ...
After an involuntary vow of silence, DP, you've returned to the Goosebumps ?
ReplyDeleteAnd he has to rave on about coronavirus and China and Xi, and all that can be said about that is: "But, like everything that comes from the Cater, no one believes it."
Which is a pity, because just for once, some of what he said does deserve to be believed. But not this one: "Taiwan's response - low on compulsion, high on voluntary compliance - is so far the most successful of any country."
Well now, Taiwan's population is about 1.5 million less than Australia's but it gets a whole lot fewer [sic] internationals than we do - or at least than we did until we closed off China and Iran and ... (but not Italy). So for a while, it looked like good ol' Aus was doing pretty good - until the local infection process took off and our number infected (now 90-something) is about twice that of Taiwan.
Oh well, you can't win 'em all.
For anybody interested in how the Taiwanese have handled the coronavirus invasion (and they have done very well), this is an interesting read:
DeleteTaiwan has millions of visitors from China and only 45 coronavirus cases. Here’s how.
https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2020/3/10/21171722/taiwan-coronavirus-china-social-distancing-quarantine
It basically starts out with having very determinedly learnt from the SARS episode and rigorously applying what they've learned. But then, living on a small island (about 1/7th the area of Victoria) and having just one strong, central government and having a lot of your citizens living overseas (in China !) helps a lot.
Incidentally, Taiwan has fewer Chinese visitors in a year (about 2.4 million) than Melbourne (about 2.7 million) despite only being 130km (up to 220 km) distant.
Sad. "the repairmen [ person? - techo? ] who eventually turned up were good, and pleased the pond by joining in abuse of **Malware and the useless system they were required to maintain,"
ReplyDeleteMy bit of nbn homework Dot...
Gavin Williams
Chief Development Officer, Regional and Remote
"Prior to joining NBN Co, Mr Williams held positions in Optus, Telstra and was principal of an independent consultancy. He was a Board Director of Southern Cross Cable."
Special Award for Know Confict of Interest... KCI's.
"At the time, ISPs bought data from the big carriers – Telstra, Optus, AAPT, and WorldCom (now Verizon)** [ fleeced by malware!]** – in two strands: Domestic and international.
"That didn’t work out because they were really asking an arm and a leg. I remember selling the first STM-1 ** Southern Cross ** pipe to connect.com, which was AAPT’s ISP.
..."and it shouldn’t be used to preclude building top-class telecommunications infrastructure, even if it isn’t the NBN as we know it under the Labor administration.
"So even if we build the NBN we aren’t going to get the speeds they promised anyway, so what’s the point in spending the money?"
https://www.computerworld.com/article/3462084/nbn-101-floating-the-submarine-cable-question.html
***
Paul Tyler
Chief Customer Officer - Business
** Major Mendacity Award for "that drove the turnaround of Nokia Corp"
"Can Nokia Script a Turnaround in 2020 After a Woeful 2019?
"Shares of Nokia Corporation NOK have declined 37.8% so far this year (as of Dec 26, 2019), making it one of the worst performers in the Zacks Wireless Equipment industry"
https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/can-nokia-script-a-turnaround-in-2020-after-a-woeful-2019-2019-12-27
Paul paul paul... tsk tsk...
"Focussed on NBN Co’s go-to-market strategy for the business, government and enterprise segments, Mr Tyler has prioritised improving the end-to-end customer experience delivered to these customers.
Born and raised in Australia, he has built a distinguished international reputation working for and managing businesses in Belgium, Ireland, UK, Japan and Singapore. Notably, Mr Tyler was a key member of the executive management team that drove the turnaround of Nokia Corp and most recently held the position of Group Managing Director of Telstra Business.
***
Felicity Ross
- ex Serco.
Chief Corporate Affairs Officer
..."Formerly Advocacy Director at Jobs for NSW, Felicity brings more than 20 years’ experience managing stakeholder relations and communications across the private and public sectors.
Felicity has deep expertise in large, high-profile, complex organisations in Australia and overseas, including: London’s Metropolitan Police at Scotland Yard; the UK Home Office, Serco, Westpac and NSW Government."
***
https://www.nbnco.com.au/corporate-information/about-nbn-co/our-people/executive-biographies/
I was trying to find a now defunct nbn director who owned a major maintainance company. No luck... yet.
Who wants infrastructure - ftth - without maintainence, hence 60,000 powered boxes around Australia. We have been royally screwed over.
Persons, people, human beings, aware of the meaningless futility of their attempts to fix an aged, broken system, which required intervention at three points to restore connectivity, with apologies that nothing could help the pond achieve fibre to the node, let alone fibre to the home speeds (oh how lucky, they said, as the pond explained it knew someone in an apartment who had been connected before the juggernaut NBN crushed fibre to the node in flats).
DeleteOh the humanity, and then Anon, the names of the guilty paraded before the pond as if to rub salt in the still raw wounds. But the pond does appreciate what you've offered, because was it not written in Leviticus 2:13?:
And every oblation of thy NBN meat offering shalt thou season with salt; neither shalt thou suffer the salt of the covenant of thy God to be lacking from thy NBN meat offering: with all thine NBN offerings thou shalt offer salt and the names of guilty, lickspittle, fellow-travelling executives well seasoned by fraudulent duplicity.
Maintain the rage!