Even an occasional reader of the pond might have noticed that the pond has extended its holyday season for no reason, except that every day is a chance to rejoyce with the reptiles …
The pond is mainly doing it for the comments, which have been a delight, though the pond was disturbed by proposals to take the reptiles seriously and argue the case with them.
The pond presents curated reptiles simply for the sheer delight and absurd pleasure. It's like standing at the base of the pyramids or Stonehenge or the Easter island statues, and thinking, "what the bloody hell were they thinking?" As one noted, these are just a mob of grandpas who brood about having missed out on the best Xmas cards ...
The pond leaves others to do the arguing. Last night's Media Watch pretty much gave the reptiles a climate science roasting, and provided much fun observing all the pond's favourite reptile correspondents. Of course the show had been absent at the time when the reptiles were still out on the field, but that's the ABC for you, nodding off in the lotus land of an Australian summer.
The pond was expecting a fiery response from the reptiles - it would have happened in the old days - but these days the reptiles are remarkably subdued. Sullen and resentful no doubt, but biding their time to rejoyce when the caravan of Canavans returns Barners to the epicentre of clean dinkum Oz coal loving, oi, oi, oi ...
And yet immediately after Media Watch, such is the ABC's love of bothsiderism, who should turn up on Q and A, and so on the reptiles channeling the cardigan wearers, than good old Jim lad, with a ripper line …
Truly, for sheer comedy, does anybody do it better than Jim?
Indeed, indeed, we don't need no stinking, useless evidence … though Jim never came up with a better line, if the reptile reporting is any guide … (the pond of course refuses to watch the show, because getting to a Jim nugget involves too much pain).
It was a silly question. Anyone knows that the Murdochians like to frame government policy, and climate science denialism is at the heart and soul of News Corp, as noted at length in Media Watch, much good that it does ...
Well the immortal Pope had a cartoon which might help explain why Jim lad couldn't make up his precedented mind on what might be unprecedented …
But that left the pond with the need to fill in the day with reptile dross, and there was something of a shortfall …
A mild attempt at heresy by Troy - apparently oblivious to the way his employer has made the Donald an enduring, ongoing thing - but a tad too obvious … and then there were the political stories ...
Too wretched to contemplate, and for once the pond also had to abandon the grieving dashing Donners …
In the guise of grieving, it was actually a shameless bout of proselytising for Catholicism, and the pond felt too nauseous to indulge.
Besides, there's the Catch 22 - mock Donners, and it seems like you're mocking grief. Best to ignore him, and just note that it's possible to deal with grief without devising imaginary friends used by institutions to build empires that persecute minorities and suffering children…
But with so many negatives, where should the pond go? Almost inevitably, it landed with an old friend, the lizard Oz editorialist, having yet another anxiety attack about SloMo … and doing their best to coach him back into peak form ...
Indeed, indeed. Anyone who suffered through simple Simon's abject defence on 7.30 might have imagined that the statues on Easter Island were speaking …
Luckily, the pond didn't bother, and only caught a précis this morning … but even that was enough to induce a feverish outburst of groaning. We don't need no stinking logic or useless transparency …
How bad can it get for the lizard Oz editorialist?
The reptiles are now holding up 2008 as an example of how to respond? The pond fell into a swoon, and only a dash of smelling salts enabled it to continue ...
Phew, thank the long absent lord, there was only a token mention of the new mantra, "practical ways to reduce greenhouse gas emissions", which is to say no way at all … just more gas, and don't forget to keep on with Adani, and oh, bring back Barners, and let the coal mongers rejoyce …
And so to a routinely overlooked and ignored member of the reptile commentary team, thrust to the top of this day's digital edition ...
Our Adam is an ideas fest, and so some might marvel at the pyramids of the mind that he manages to build ...
Our Adam pretends he's grumpy with SloMo, but then he somehow manages to hand out a high distinction for economic resilience?
By golly, if academic excellence could be so easily attained, the pond might have been off to Oxford … but then suffering the droning Frydenberg was probably no worse than listening to bumble bee simple Simon buzzing on …
As for those who wonder when our Adam will reveal his great idea, be patient …first there must be a tip of the hat to the onion muncher, one of the great policy pioneers of our day, and full of useful insights, as knight follows day or dame ...
A leading digital economy by 2030, with Malware's NBN? Why even the reptiles are beginning to feel self-doubt at the bucket loads of hogwash doing the rounds.
And now trumpets ready please, a fanfare for our Adam's great idea ...
Abolish the superannuation system, and then when low-income earners turn to the welfare system in their old age, berate the bludgers for their laziness and indolence, and make life as hard as possible for them with a dog's breakfast of a welfare system …
The sheer brilliance of the idea overwhelmed the pond, and the policy basis, carefully thought through and presented - unions and banks will hate it - was an astonishing example of the reptiles at their best. You see, there's a nugget of delight in almost any reptile column, and all you need to do is bring the pyramids to mind, and ask "what the fuck were they thinking?"
And that's how you get to climate science denialism in one easy step. We don't need no stinking evidence, and we don't actually need any reasons for doing something. Provided people hate it, that's more than enough for your average reptile and your mindless government …
And with that, the pond turned, as it often does, to the immortal Rowe, stuck in the change room with a sweaty bunch, with more Rowe here …
Aloha indeed, and take your evidence-based assessments with you ...
Hi DP, I thought a bit of Bon Joviality was needed after that somewhat fawning editorial.
ReplyDeleteLeading On A Prayer
Scotty’s bruised and on the rocks
Disunion in the ranks
He’s running out of luck
It’s rough
So tough
So much internal disarray
Bridget fed the hogs
And she blew all his pay
On sports clubs
And hot tubs
He’s gotta hold on
To what he’s got
He’s praying for deliverance
From the media mob
Whenever he’s in trouble
He talks in tongues
To his god
Yeah he talks to his boss
Wo ho!
Now he’s getting that stare
Wo ho!
He’s whipping up a prayer
He’s raising his hands
Now he’s in mid-air
Wo ho!
He’s hanging by a thread…
On a roll, Kez, on a roll.
DeleteWell, just fancy that: Jim Molan being "heckled" over climate denialist comments and on the ABC even. Oh what terrible state is this land come to. And all the poor lad said was: "I'm not relying on evidence." Well, none of us thought he was, did we ?
ReplyDeleteBut then we get on to The Editorialist: "The government responses to these issues [bushfires, sports rorts, coronavirus] also has been questionable."
Questionable ? Merely questionable ? Everything any government ever does is "questionable", ScottyfromMarketing's response to those items was downright blameable !
Then we get The Editorialist's outright heresy: regarding the GFC in 2008 "Labor took quick action and used clear lines of communication." Wowser, how good is that ?! Though clearly spoiled: "The subsequent waste and over-stimulus is a sorry story."
Oh yes, we're all so very, very sorry that Labor - even acknowledging a bit of over-stimulus and waste - saved our economy and let us continue claiming the record for years without a recession. How many other major economies managed to get through the GFC without a 'formal' recession ?
However, yeah DP, our 'First Man's' big idea is a beauty ! It'll sure work a treat, especially on the poorer paid "quiet Australians". Though I can say in my case, despite having a quite good salary late in my employment, that because of the tax levied on contributions, on super-fund earnings and on final payouts (the three-fold tax), after about a dozen years of contributing to compulsory superannuation, my final takeout was actually several thousands of dollars less than the raw total of my 'contributions'. I think they did fix that later, but oh boy, what a way to impose a high-earner tax impost.
A joke used in my workplace went "no one ever got sacked for not doing their job" (I think it got ripped off from an IBM ad). It was sadly true that the best way to avoid mistakes was to do as little as possible and management would assume this was a sign of efficiency - after all, it worked for them.
DeleteIt was only on the rare occasion of panic when a decision had to be be made that you were likely to find out who could actually do something and who would be incapable of doing anything that didn't fit the pro forma. The bushfires have become Morrison's panic moment.
If only he could go back to picking on the poor and those in need of refuge.
Well mebbe, Bef, but having personally been an IBM employee for about 12 years, I think the IBM original was "Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM". Which basically could be interpreted as "not doing your job" if your job was to obtain the best EDP/IT solution for your company. Generally reliable, but expensive, at least in the 1970s, 80s and 90s. Dunno about 'em now - haven't had any connection for over a decade.
DeleteHowever, to pick up on the SloMo theme, I did encounter a lovely little piece of analysis today:
"...Australia has the worst government in living memory. Morrison’s administration is much worse than that of Tony Abbott or Malcolm Turnbull. It is stupid, corrupt and entirely absent policy process. It can’t manage good times and it is fantastically inept in the bad."
Australia Faces Calamity
By David Llewellyn-Smith
https://www.macrobusiness.com.au/2020/02/australia-faces-calamity/
"Last night's Media Watch pretty much gave the reptiles a climate science roasting..."
ReplyDeleteIndeed so, DP, however given the frequency with which the reptiles repeat their "talking points" then I can't help but think that if "What I thrice repeat is true" then what I 3000 times repeat must be a lot truer than even the word of "God".
However the Bolter did get one little idea in:
" ANDREW BOLT: The bottom line, global warming may actually not be all bad, at all.
- The Bolt Report, Sky News, 27 January, 2020"
He means, of course, that more CO2 promotes more growth of those photosynthesizing green things that the human race eats a lot of. An idea that Bolt attributes to Freeman Dyson
Now strangely enough, even Svante Arrhenius had a similar idea, way back in 1896. And who knows, if the human population had stayed what it was back then (1.6 billion) it might even have been vaguely so. But the human population is now about 7.794 billion and it isn't even remotely true. In fact, with the amount of CO2 we're pushing into the atmosphere now, it diminishes the nutrition levels of the plant life we depend on.
The "green revolution" is long over and long gone and when the world reaches a human population of 10 billion - which should be around 2050 approximately - the agricultural produce of the planet won't be able to feed humanity.
So it goes.