Friday, February 14, 2020

In which nattering "Ned" presents the ultimate physical and moral challenge ...

 

At last Paul Barry seems to be doing a few things right - the reptiles are extremely discontented with him, and when the reptiles' anonymous blogger has a go - remember the glory days when anonymous bloggers using a pen name were despised and loathed by the reptiles? - the pond dances with delight to see the absurdity of living in reptile la la land …

As for Lloydie, the pond merely notes that of course he's a better meteorologist than the wretched lot at BOM.

Why, he's already fixed the Amazon, albeit in a Lloydie way, and yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing when it comes to predictions, and by the way, if the BOMsters can't get a simple matter of calling the weather, how can they be trusted with climate science?

Why the pond reckons they likely forgot to mention or predict the current cyclones doing the rounds, such are their many failings. The moral is clear - stick with reptile forecasting, and you can put your last dollar on that …

But all that was yesterday, and the pond was too tired to go there, it now being Friday and all, and besides a mountain had presented itself, and the pond knew it had to climb it. Sure, even the bravest of casual passers-by would flinch and move on; sure, brave regular readers would drop like flies, and the pond would descend into the desert land of no hits, but it had to be done…


Nattering "Ned"!

Can there be a more terrifying sight than this ancient mariner at the wedding door? Is it any wonder that the pond quails and trembles and shakes and almost topples over, and not simply because of a taste for six inch heels?

And even worse he's still blathering on about Barners and the Nats, and all that rag, when sensible folk come and go talking of Michelangelo … but it had to be done, and after the doing, there would be a sense of triumph, possibly of purging, the sort of joy the pond understands a coffee enema produces in George Hamilton ...


Now did the pond miss something in that opening outburst? Is "Ned" suggesting that Barners was one of those giants from the past? If so, there's a fair case to make that in the new age, fornicating, adulterating gnats might pass for giants …

Never mind, it's on with inspecting the entrails and the chicken livers … and the pond has had to keep the print small, just to contain the overflow ...


What to say? It seems to escape "Ned", as it routinely does, that Barners and the Canavan caravan are simply carrying out News Corp policies. Their whining about inner city 'leets is a reptile staple, their climate science denialism has been fed for decades by the denialists rampant in the lizard Oz and the reptile tabloids …

Why is "Ned" surprised that the rebels have taken a rebel stand of the kind the scribblers in Surry Hills - oh the finest baristas in the world - have routinely taken?

Why only a few days ago, the pond was celebrating Dame Slap's ancient, intrepid journey out into Maitland with Plimer to have a chat with the bushes, though all that did was remind the pond of its family heirloom, a little British nicknack that survived the Maitland floods way back when …no, not 1955, and Newsfront, we're talking the 1890s …

Oh okay, the pond is already bored out of its brain, better to get on with it, better to do it quick and fast, like a Tamworth lad in heat ...


Of course, of course, indeedy do, it was all Malware's fault that Barners was caught out on the rooftops fornicating on the tiles like a cat with piles …

Did that song go that way? The pond can't rightly remember, it was secret men's business, but is pleased to announce that the pond has filibustered its way to the important message embedded in "Ned's" final gobbet ...


Actually, no.

No, no, no.

The reptiles keep insisting that climate science is framed in moral, or even worse, theological terms.

But the science is what it is, it's science, and scientific imperatives arise from it.

Having regard to the state of the planet needn't be a moral one, it can simply be intensely practical. If we manage to fuck the planet comprehensively, as seems more likely by the day, and no thanks to the grand help of News Corp denialism, what then of costs, prices and incomes?

What then of the love of clean dinkum pure coal, and all the bunkum put out by the likes of the Bolter and little Timmie Bleagh and Akker Dakker and all the others?

Why, what then of Lloydie's valiant attempts to save the Amazon?

Oh well, at least he's got a career as a superior meteorologist ahead of him … though the pond has to admit that looking back, it seems pretty obvious that it rained yesterday, proving the pond's superior powers of prediction …

The bottom line? There's nothing particularly complex about it, and there's nothing particularly moral or theological. If you thought coal was helping bring the end of the world, and the rapture, and getting you a little closer to heaven, that's moral. But self-preservation, survival, isn't so much moral as Darwinian … (yes, the pond enjoyed the jokes about Darwin day and the Donald as proof his theories were fucked).

And now for a little detoxing, an after dinner mint, a soupçon after gorging on "Ned" …

It's the same subject, but the bouffant one is more inclined to pour oil on troubled waters ...


It is of course delusional, but that's the way it is in reptile la la land, hoping for the best, and blindly insisting that the world is shaping up nicely, even as glaciers melt, the Antarctica has record high temperatures, and the weather keeps acting kinda funny …

Barners and the Canavan caravan are footloose and fancy free, just the sort of hoons and bogan loons who turn up in their utes to wreck a bachelor and spinster ball …

They're going to keep doing doughnuts, spin-outs and burns, and keep pouring out copious supplies of B and S ...


But the pond can forgive the bouffant one his delusions …his willingness to swallow the Nat spin, in much the same way that the reptiles thought there were no wreckers, snipers or underminers in the Libs.

Why forgive him? Well note how short that opening is, up against the prolix, verbose "Ned"! And he keeps on keeping the spinning and the artful weaving short, as might be expected, if we live in the best of times ...


Chook saves the day, and Macca produces a joke …

You see, no need to blather on about climate science and moral imperatives …everyone agrees they're all for clean, dinkum, pure, world-enhancing Queensland coal …and what a sook, what a crybaby, that nervous nelly "Ned" turns out to be …

Sure, it's a temporary truce, without deep resolution, but as agrarian socialists, all we need is for governments to build coal-fired power stations, help fuck the planet and agriculture, and the Nats will have done their best for farmers on the Liverpool plains ...

Take that Media Watch, take that insipid inner city 'leets, and the pond looks forward to visiting the beach at Marrickville Metro before doing a little grocery shopping …

Was it all worth it, this reptile reading on a Friday?

Well no, it's a perfectly wretched way to waste the day, and there'll be no rest on the weekend, as the reptiles go on the prowl.

All the pond can do is hope that readers are getting their comedy jollies from watching the comedians on YouTube … or perhaps taking in a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe here



That's more like it, that's entertainment ...





9 comments:

  1. Poor Lloydie. Much to his frustration, real BoMsters never make predictions: in their outlooks, they talk about the likelihood of future recordings being at/above/below certain levels or thresholds or percentiles. And no doubt, Lloydie's argument that heavy rain shouldn't come as a shock is so because in Australia, "the rains" always come in the end, as all good denialist students would know (notwithstanding thoughts and prayers).

    The only problem with this argument is that the BoMsters don't do shock, either.

    The Amazon-fixer apparently thinks his readership is stupid. Perhaps, other than the smart ones who avoid paying for the privilege, they are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know about his readers, Merc, but on the one hand you have educated, rational, experienced meteorologists, and on the other hand you have Lloydie and the Reptiles. Need any more be said ?

      Delete
  2. DP - thank you, again, for stepping delicately past (through) the morass of references to ‘unelected activist judges’, which otherwise will allow opinion writers to put those uppity blacks right back in their place, and give the same writers an excuse not to have to write about the faltering condition of the current national attempt at a government.

    The only interest in the terms ‘unelected’ and ‘activist’ judges will be to see if they will have a longer life than, say ‘virtue signalling’ or any of the other vapid phrases that have had recent seasons of popularity.

    Not that we expect any of the opinion writers to explore the alternative - how our system might be converted to have elected, but inactive, judges, and how that might be so much better for us all if it could be brought about.

    Other anonymous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This "unelected" thing is just fascinating: I have yet to meet an "elected" policeman, but my life is sometimes in their hands on Melbourne's crowded troubled roads; I have yet to meet an elected practicing medical doctor, but my life (especially during annual health check inspections) is frequently in their hands. And major events in many people's lives - eg being approved for a mortgage - are in the hands of unelected bank personnel. And lots of people's lives are daily in the hands of cabbies or Uber drivers.

      D'you reckon the reptiles should insist that in a democracy, everybody must be elected ?

      Delete
    2. While that is strongly implicit in the refrain about judges, GB, if they thought for a few minutes (OK - we have all had our little laugh, back to the text) they would see that it takes them into dangerous territory. Given the influence available to those who operate mass media, and its capacity to intrude into the lives of everyone in the community, it would be consistent for the opinion writers to recommend such media to be controlled by directors who had to submit their tenure to the entire populace at much the same intervals as members of parliament.

      Several of them were, um - ‘elected’ - to the board of a major media group, the ABC, a few years back. That precedent justifies deep study.

      The particular emphasis on ‘unelected’ judges usually is followed by claims that this or that decision does not reflect the attitudes of the general populace. Presumably, just now, the required ‘attitude’ is that of those elusive ‘quiet’ Australians. But the opinion writers have problems with what happens when 12 members of the general populace, chosen at random, are included in the trial process, essentially to determine findings of fact. They, and their supporting chorus, have been busy for weeks disparaging the decision of a jury (well, two juries) involving one George Pell.

      Unfortunately, the opinion writers are so busy researching for their opinion writing, that they would not be available to rule on the cases that are brought to the courts. That is assuming they could be elected to do that. As far as I know, the only one of them to seek elected office was a Mr Jones, who entered 5 preselections or actual elections, losing what was considered a ‘safe seat’ on a couple of attempts. Tricky things, elections.



      Other anonymous.

      Delete
    3. Oh how quickly we forget. Indeed Jones did have a spectacularly unsuccessful attempted career as an elected politician (Federal and NSW State) and I note that he was also "speechwriter" for Malcolm Fraser for about two years.

      That was all some years before he began his radio career but perhaps it indicates just how marginal his "popularity" was, and is.

      Delete
  3. "If we manage to fuck the planet comprehensively, as seems more likely by the day, ... what then of costs, prices and incomes?"

    And that is the reality. It's not that the idiotic denialism is the killer, it's that even now the reptiles and their running dog lackeys just can't seem to grasp that to a large extent - most likely a fatally large extent - it's the destruction of large swathes of the human habitabiliy of the planet. And indeed, what then of pissant concerns about costs, prices and incomes ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think they have the intellectual toolkit to deal with such a large, scary issue. Banging away furiously at a keyboard recycling a limited number of tropes is one thing but dealing with risk and complexity is another thing entirely.

      No doubt they reflect their readership in having no intellectual curiosity at all. Things or ideas that are familiar are accepted uncritically and things or ideas that are new to them are treated with the utmost suspicion. If any cause and effect are not linked in the most immediate and catastrophic fashion they will be unable recognise the association.

      Delete
    2. I think that pretty much covers it, Bef.

      Delete

Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.