In which the pond ends up munching on the usual Oreo, but does its best to delay the pleasure ...

The pond decided it would start off the day by talking about something other than the reptiles, namely 1917, since the Academy provided the pond with a copy for its awards consideration.

The pond considered it for a nanosecond, decided it loathed this "Raiders of the Lost War", with cornball set pieces of the Hollywood kind (too many to list here, but the 'running of the ruined buildings' gauntlet, and the 'dangling in the river rapids' with bonus water fall shouldn't be overlooked), aided and abetted by pretentious camera coverage.

The pond refused to award this pile of nonsense tuppence, not even a farthing, and was glad it had paid even less for the screener. By about the time of the French woman with bub in basement, the pond was quietly screaming, and when a softly stentorian Cumberbatch arrived to deliver a 'war is hell/fight to the last man' speech, the pond thought of going in search of Sam Mendes to shout at him that people who directed abominations must be deemed abominable. By all that's vile, unfair, base, banal, and pathetic, the film should do well in the awards season.

That noted, let's just say that Peter Jackson did infinitely more for the soldiers of the first world war with his restoration of footage in They Shall Not Grow Old, with an elaborately stitched together commentary track by actual soldiers. The pond usually hates colourisation, but with the bonus of speed-correction done well, this wasn't the usual crappy Turner job, and the war footage took on an alarming sense of physical reality. These were real people going about the business of killing and dying, and the pond could imagine its grandfather lurking somewhere behind a machine gun in the footage - not something it wanted to do when it came to Sam's opus.

Oh it's good to get that off the chest, knowing that there will be a dunderhead reptile lurking nearby, ready to sound as stupid as Sam's show looked …now who might it be this day?

Well first, please allow the pond to step back a day to the reptiles usual gotcha moment …

This is an easy game to play. Can anybody explain why the reptiles persist in killing trees so they can drop their unwanted garbage at airports, before it's carted off, hopefully for recycling … 

...though who knows how much that sort of activity costs, tossing freebies on the scrap heap, especially when all the blather is about how others sin, and how in any case, it's not really a sin, because climate science is fake news …

But soft, a strange thing also happened yesterday …

 

It turns out the reptiles are sluts and will run any sort of fake news if it's sponsored content, and even back it up with an opinion piece … as we head back to the days of little Johnny announcing a carbon trading scheme on 4th July, 2007. 

Talk about back to the future, talk about a long and winding road, as slippery and as sideways as a snake in sand …

And so to today, and the apple-eating Adam supping on gas …

Indeed, indeed, and yes, there is an app for Firebox which will remove the paywall and reveal Adam's thoughts for anyone deluded enough to care.

The pond didn't bother, thinking it easier to ask a trick question - can anyone find the Canavan caravan giving a flying fuck about the domestic market in this press release on 21st December 2018?:

There's more, but only this sort of triumphalism …

“Exports of resources and energy make a massive contribution to the Australian economy and to the prosperity of businesses, communities and families throughout the nation.”
However Minister Canavan warned that new investment and better development processes are needed to maintain the sector’s success.
“The industry’s strong results can only continue if new investment is encouraged and the development of projects proceeds efficiently,” Minister Canavan said.
“Producers have invested hundreds of billions of dollars over the past 15 years to unlock new deposits and build world-class infrastructure.
“At the same time, hard and patient work has opened up new markets and new opportunities for Australian producers but we cannot be complacent.
“Around $170 billion in resource projects are now at the feasible stage and rated as either ‘likely’ or ‘possible’ to proceed to construction and we must capitalise on this by improving the development process.
“I’ve started that discussion with my State and Territory counterparts, so we can try to streamline the development process for resource and energy projects, attract more investment and boost productivity.”

Would a line about the domestic market, and caring about it, and how gas would sort out the fake news of climate science have hurt or slowed up the Canavan caravan's press release, and even appeased the apple-loving Adam? Not bloody likely ...

Funny how things seem to change, if only to stay the same, but one thing is guaranteed, and that's the way recovering feminist, the Oreo, keeps on playing the only tune she knows …

Note well the cunning header referring to "weather refugees", there being no such thing as climate science or global warming or climate change, and note how "globalists" and "alarmed" work their way into the very first introductory line …

The pond immediately was bored, as if back in 1917, and began to reminisce about how destructive eating an Oreo can be …

The trouble is, giving up a tasting of the recovering, reformed feminist is no easy task for the pond. 

We all like our denialist treats, and while some might hanker for the Bolter in the HUN (oh you filthy perverts, you vile disgusting beasts), the pond perforce restricts itself to the joys of the lizard Oz, and a mindless dose of sugar, flour and oil …

How many times will the reptiles denounce the gods of globalism, and quitting the cult, while at the same time, preach the joys of international free trade, frictionless transportation of goods and services, and assorted other globalist wonders?

At some point, the pond's brain begins to hurt, and all it can think of is the Suez canal - such a handy short cut - or perhaps de Nile …

Oh it's an old joke, but when you see a duck or a recovering feminist, why not ask viaduct?

And so on the pond trudged, into the vale of anti-elitist sentiment and classical liberal values and all the other assorted bullshit the pond has come to associate with the closed minds of the proto-fascist scribblers at the lizard Oz ...

And there, done and dusted it seems, is the notion that climate change hasn't affected anybody, and won't affect anybody in in the future … yet even the Terror seemed to notice that something might be happening …

Uh huh, but which reptile rag to believe?

When confronted by this sort of quandary, the pond always heads to the gutter …

… or summons up the courage to read the last gobbet of Oreo, knowing it should always come with a health warning ...

Well, that's it for the day, more blather about moral superiority and globalist 'leets and Davos man, and grand rhetorical flourishes from the recovering feminist …

And yet, there was a time …

Dear sweet long absent lord, and now she's a devotee, a supporter of the pussy grabber …

Strange days, and strange how fundamentalists move so easily from one kind of fundamentalism to another.

And how strange that as a result of her incessant climate science denialism, she, and so the pond, must miss out on the real fun going down these days, involving the planet's climate denialist in chief, a kind of Prince Andrew and Harvey Weinstein rolled into a most peculiar construction of masculinity (if the pond might sound a little like the old Oreo for a moment) … 

Thankfully the immortal Rowe is always here to keep the pond up to date with that masculine action …and what splendid junk he has ...