Sunday, October 06, 2019

In which the pond meditates on the reptile week and ends up with the dog botherer in full ranting paranoid mode ...


The pond began its week by ignoring Major Mitchell.

This is a luxury that the pond relishes more than a soaping and a showering, especially when the Major still shows signs of the recent reptile hysteria, induced by badgering a teenage girl daring to suggest attention should be paid to climate science.


It was much later in the week, when the pond attended to that reliable oracle of reptile studies, The Weekly Beast, that it turned out that Major had produced some odd fall-out …


If only the pond had been there to help. There's a reason children don't walk to school these days - they're terrified by shrieking galahs, angry parrots, swooping magpies, and grumpy elderly white columnists shouting at them to get off the lawn, or the pavement, or … just git, while the gitting's good …

But it set the tone for various appearances through the week, which the pond dutifully ignored. Lloydie was still suffering from Thunberg syndrome …


Yeah, youse are gunna be sorry, youse just wait and see, there's gunna be consequences, there will be blood …

You know, like …


The pond notes that as well as the big dry, there was Bella pining for Anglo-Celtic culture …

Well the pond has had it up to here with Anglo-Celtic culture. Back in the 1950s, the Irish were thought of as trash and riff raff, a step up perhaps from Greeks and Italians, but only by a small step …

And what is it with Anglo-Celtic culture if they can't admit they were contaminated by the French, and spent generations ripping off Rome and Greece, and imported their monarchy from assorted countries, including Germany … which explains why the Windsors are actually part of an enormous conspiracy…

What joy to be able to walk on by …and not have to break down and cry ...it being not so much Bella one note, as a Bella squawk of a very familiar kind …

Once the big dry had been noted, the reptiles spent the week conjuring up a new fear … activists!!

 

Ah, to be alive in a cashless society, and as for the mutton Dutton, he scored top of the page with his talk … the perfect accompaniment to a squawking Bella ...


Oh you sinful, lazy Anglo-Celts … and yet when it came to the reptiles accepting a quid, it turned out that they were climate sluts of the worst kind …


Yep, when it comes to taking a buck off true believers, the reptiles are top-notch snake oil salesmen and hucksters … and speaking of quacks, frauds, mountebanks, swindlers, con artists, grifters and four-flushers reminds the pond that this week, it decided that the bromancer deserved first prize for coming out with the best reptile splash of all …


Of all the arses the reptiles love to kiss, their desire to kiss the Donald's arse is the weirdest and the kinkiest,  one of those stranger things you couldn't make a TV series about …

There war other usual reptile obsessions, and the pond should honour them … you know, suffering Xians and the fiendish world of the intertubes, always a threat to the reptile business model …



But forget the naughty Kyle and the reptiles stomping their digital feet, that talk of China was what titillated the pond …


Once again the pond had to wait until the Weekly Beast came out to see that others had noted it too …



Oh the irony was rich, especially as Polonius was out and about yesterday, carrying on like a goose …


But the pond has already been there and done that, and now must turn, with dread, fear and loathing to something else that set off the reptiles, and had them off, baying across the moors like a fearsome Baskerville hound...


A new world order, schnell, raus, and that'll teach those dreadful internationalists for daring to cross SloMo, who decided he was in an axis of patriots, in alliance with liberal globalist Boris and the Donald.

China, if you're listening, come on down and investigate some politicians for us, it'll only help our progress to the new world order full of Chinese miracles …

Sadly, it set the dog botherer off - these days a thunderous sound of a sparrow's fart can startle the poor lad - and for all the pond's filibustering and delay, the deed had to be done ...



Yesterday, the pond noted that the dog botherer was held up as a prime example of everything that was wrong with the lizard Oz, a ratbag prone to ranting and shouting at the moon …

Even forewarned, and forearmed, the pond approached the task with a sense of dread … like going for a swim up Dungowan way and discovering a red-bellied black was in the water for company. Well in those days there was actually water in the rivers and the creeks, which made the inevitable dog botherer opening stab at the science all the funnier …


Why it's absurd and outrageous, as if all this talk of climate science had a shred of reality …it goes without saying that it's a sinister conspiracy, up there with Dame Slap joining 'Lord' Monckton in warning that the UN would use climate science to introduce world government by Xmas … though the pond has lost track of how many Xmases ago it was that the fiends completed the task ...


Lloydie's an environment editor? Must the dog botherer indulge in Orwellian double speak all the time?

Surely Lloydie should be called the "don't give a fuck about the environment, love that dinkum clean Oz coal oi oi oi, the reef's fine, and so is the planet, and so my job is done" editor … but do go on, though it would be appreciated if the hysterics and the fear-mongering could be kept to a modest ten ...


Yes, it's a huge, gigantic, vast conspiracy, when really it's a moot point and we should have moots around the world, preferably filled with snakes and 'gators …


Sorry the pond had to slip that one in as a way of coping with the dog botherer ranting on about agendas, as if his own agenda - fuck the planet, fuck it hard, fuck it long, fuck it sideways - might not produce a little alarm ...

Well the pond knows where this is heading, and it isn't talk of a Chinese miracle, so it seemed right to slip in another cartoon solving the world's most pressing problems …


Yes, it was time for the dog botherer to salute the Donald, apparently not realising that by doing so, he was also announcing that the future didn't belong to that dreadful liberal globalist Boris  …

Whenever this sort of stuff becomes a talking point, the pond is always reminded of the splitters in assorted Monty Python sketches …

You can see poor Boris being ravaged by the Spectator mob here … denounced as a leftist fraud ...

While he may have no coherent philosophy, Westminster’s master of deception is instinctively committed to globalist liberalism…
...The truth is simple. Boris Johnson isn’t a conservative. He isn’t a man of the people or the champion of grassroots. He’s an internationalist, establishment elite who will say or do anything for personal advantage. Sure, for now that might mean members like what we hear, but let there be no doubt – once elected – Johnson would turn on us in an instant. Ben Harris Quinney, Chairman of the UK’s oldest conservative think tank, the Bow Group, is right: ‘When it comes to Boris, the Tory Party risks going to bed with a conservative and waking up with yet another social democrat’.

So what on earth is the dog botherer talking about when he includes election and referendum results in Britain in his blather below?

Can't he spot a globalist, can't he recognise a splitter? Has the simple-minded antics of the Donald and SloMo blinded him by the light, cut him loose like a douche, another runner in the night (yes, yes, the pond knows it was actually a deuce coupe, but the dog botherer is a douche, so the lyrics have to made to fit, right)?



So dumb, no, really., and not just because that talk of unaccountable bureaucracy comes from a government that has set up a punitive robodebt regime that's in the news at the moment 

Let those who are without domestic faceless bureaucrats talk of internationalist bureaucrats…

Instead, let's put a little positive philosophical spin on the can't.

If you talk of negative globalism, then by all the Kantian binaries and Hegelian dialectics, there must be a positive globalism … if destruction, then restoration, if damnation, then redemption … unless of course, you happen to think that the world is just one giant venture in real estate development, and we know where that takes us …


So after all this, how is the reptile business model shaping up?

This week Crikey has been doing a little sniping, and is currently conducting a competition which should appeal to keen herpetologists….


The pond can't guess at who will flee, but it can guess who will stay … useless wretches like the dog botherer and the Major, living in a reptile shelter which keeps them away from the real world, and therefore makes them useless to anyone with an interest in a lick of sense, or an understanding of science.

That's got to be worth a paranoid conspiracy cartoon, it being clear that Alexander Downer is in a deep state cabal with the UN ...


… and if reptiles were elephants …



7 comments:

  1. "...up there with Dame Slap joining 'Lord' Monckton in warning that the UN would use climate science to introduce world government by Xmas "

    Yair, Planet Janet and the Reptiles just don't get nearly enough kudos for that do they. Why, you'd think that Polonius would be all over himself congratulating them for "telling it like it is" and SloMo would be mortified about not having yet made her an AO with Bar.

    But what I don't get is why the Doggy Bov isn't fawning all over Dame Slap for her prescient perspicacity in realising that those demonic globalists were already taking over the world. And why Dame Slap herself doesn't speak up and point out that the globalist alarmists - particularly her - had worked this all out years ago.

    But then, there's Doggy Bov quoting SloMo; "The world works best when the character and distinctiveness of independent nations is preserved within a framework of mutual respect."

    So there we are, in the totally sincere and inimitable words of a Pentecostal proselytiser, that's "telling it like it is" about China and Indonesia and Syria and Saudi Arabia and ... .

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    Replies
    1. When DB or DS are creating lists of the sinister motives of the globalists do you find yourself thinking, sounds good, excellent idea, if only we could . . . . . ? It would be different if they could point to some progress within our "independent nation" but in truth we have just been going backwards ever since Howard.

      Brexit is a good analogy. To me it looked liked the EU provided a framework, some objective standards, for the usually feckless British.

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    2. I guess it depends on whether one thinks that humanity is, in fact, a single species that would benefit from some form of commonality, or not. I rather imagine that ScoMo considers his people to be a superior species in fact.

      But I do wonder, occasionally, what a 'single world government' covering the nearly 8 billion of us would be like. If each representative stood for an electorate of, say, 250,000 citizens then there would be a mere 32,000 MPs in the world parliament. Taking a vote would be fun.

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    3. Well, the reptiles are a different tribe at the very least. One with a different understanding of society. A strong belief in a hierarchy with themselves near the top, after Murdoch his heirs and successors of course but not much understanding of mutual benefit despite the rambling about respect.

      Just bye the bye - does anyone think it odd that Lord Molloch didn't turn up at the Slomo/Trump meeting? Do I dare to hope? Been disappointed so often in the past.

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    4. Yes, Roopie wasn't there, but his son Lachie was. Interesting possible speculation though, because Roopie was (is ?) a major supporter of Trump.

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  2. Alligators, snakes and moats, Dorothy!
    How good is Kenny?
    As it turns out, not very good at all.

    ReplyDelete

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