The pond almost suffered a seizure at all the yellow floating around at the lizard Oz, as reptiles took the Clive dollar, and - feminist attempts to reclaim the word notwithstanding - became sluts for Clive ...
But it turned out that all the reptiles around the land had suddenly, overnight, become sluts for Clive …
So much nausea, so much reptile sluttishness, so much fun of the 'most base, tawdry and vulgar sell-out' kind, and yet, there was the poor old bouffant one trying to sound solemn, even serious about Clive …
Ah, so the 'sluts for Clive' reptiles might yet play a hand in determining Saturday's result.
The pond immediately regretted having already run the infallible Pope's cartoon about Clive, when it really would have been more at home in this reptile sea of sluttish yellow …
Well the pond tried to avoid the visual contamination and the nausea, and instead focus on the usual bunch of reptiles, with the Major Mitchell doing what he does best …
Yes, it was the Major in climate denialist mode, seeking comfort from authoritarians, populists, raging ratbags … pretty well everybody apart from actual climate scientists …
Of course the Major is more subtle and nuanced in his climate science denialism and his urgent plea for the country to do nothing …
For a more bog standard reptile approach, you need the reptiles of Sky at night, as noted in New Matilda here …
It's the same tosh as the Major, but the pond was startled and shocked … at the defamation of barrel girls, valiantly trying to earn a living, and suddenly discovering that petulant Peta considered herself one. The barrel girls union should have had something to say about that ...
Never mind, it's back to the Major for more parrot-like insights ...
How long is it since that UN report came out? In the world of reptiles of the Major Mitchell kind it simply never existed …
If only there was an imaginary place where the likes of the Major would find in the future their special place for their denialism … but instead, it seems, as Sartre might have suggested, hell is climate science denying reptiles passing as people ...
The pond really should have included a bit more of that scientific demonstration by the parrot as recorded by New Matilda… with the really unique* parrot (*ABC 24 licensed) and his defamatory barrel girl showing the Major Mitchell how it's done …
While the pond only does screen caps - which means gluttons for punishment will have to find some other way to view the parrot - it does seem worthwhile reproducing that Scientific American link before trying to swallow a final gobbet by the Major ...
Note the semantic subtlety of the Major: "Every scientific doom forecast has been proven wrong."
The semantic, pedantic get out of jail word is "doom".
And yet there's plenty of evidence to suggest that climate scientists have a much better idea of what's happening on and to the planet than the likes of the Major Mitchell, the parrot and petulant Peta-defaming barrel girls … but that won't stop the Major suspending his search for that missing Order of Lenin medal to join the denialists in urging that nothing be done … because that's what Murdochians, keen to fuck the planet, do for a living …
And so to a choice, but in the end it was an easy one…
The Caterist was just singing for his cash in the paw Department of Finance funded supper in the usual way, but the Oreo was in full-blown hyper-hysterical melt down mode …
What's it really all about? Well the Oreo thinks that the coalition is cruising for a bruising, so no stone must be left unturned to paint an ugly picture of a mob storming the Bastille, snatching away precious liberties, violent revolutionaries everywhere, the world collapsing into terrifying anarchy … anything to suggest if SloMo and his mob lose, it will be an unfair result, achieved by violence …
It takes a particular Oreo skill, and naturally it requires more than a little revisionism by the pond to stress the epic nature of the truly dire threat to the cosmos …
When the Oreo goes into full lathered-up mode, there's more than enough agitated spittle to go round …
Yes, yes, but what about the candidates left in absolute tranquility and peace to go about their campaigning business?
Nope, the Oreo is inconsolable, and possibly terrified … though more likely terrified by the prospect of a comrade Bill win than her motley assembly of carefully curated activities, in which curiously not a word is said about the misdeeds of the far right ...
Oh fair fucking suck of the sauce bottle, you silly hysteric. Say what?
"… poised to attack the foundations of free society"?
Perhaps just a tad over-stated? Just a smidgen, a fraction, a pinch, a morsel, a speck, a tad, a wee bit over the top and far away into la la land … especially while the reptiles cheer on the likes of the Donald, and the Major joins with populists and demagogues and authoritarians to indulge in a standard reptile bout of climate science denialism?
Well there was one piece of good news, though the pond had noted it some time ago …
The pond slotted it into the "who gives a flying fuck"" category … especially as readers had to wade past a Leak cartoon to get to the joke …
Ah nepotism, it never really works, does it, and neither apparently does the dog botherer, now that he's had an Oreo-like melt-down …
The pond hates to tell the reptiles that 40k in followers is actually three fifths of fuck all in the scheme of Twitter things, and the dog botherer's disappearance will be no more of a blip on the radar than the suspension of prime twits like Jason Wohl …
But the pond will admit that the dog botherer has a point. Why go on Twitter in search of a communal conversation, only to discover a horrible festering cesspit of hatred, lies and misinformation?
Why, you can get all that in a Murdochian rag near you, and for a very humble subscription, unless you happen to visit the airport each day, when you can get it for free, together with a blast of Sky in the lounge.
Now there's an offer … and with a bit of luck, you'll get a bonus of the reptiles slutting for Clive, joining them as they work very hard to become very best model of a horrible festering cesspit of hatred, lies and misinformation available on the full-to-overflowing intertubes…
But all is not lost for the reptiles, because this day Rowe has drawn a splendid presidential bloke vision designed to entrance millennials and reptiles alike … with more Rowe visions here …
Maj. Mitch. "Activists and left-wing media outlets don't like admitting the one major emitter to have success in reducing emissions, though well short of the Paris commitments it is withdrawing from, is the US."
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, a giant success is the USA:
After years of decline, US carbon emissions are rising again
https://www.vox.com/2019/1/8/18174082/us-carbon-emissions-2018
Now the UK may not be a "major emitter" in Maj. Mitch's terms - it's population is only around 66 million compared with the US's 322 million - but nonetheless:
Analysis: UK’s CO2 emissions fell for record sixth consecutive year in 2018
https://www.carbonbrief.org/analysis-uks-co2-emissions-fell-for-record-sixth-consecutive-year-in-2018
GB,
DeleteIn regards to your suggestions below, regarding a good political history of Oz from WW 2 on, thank you.
GrueBleenMay 13, 2019, 8:30:00 AM
Good question, JM. I wish I knew something to recommend for you, but my interest in history has always been a bit thin. I would at least mention Donald Horne's 'The Lucky Country' but it was published in 1964 so it's a bit short on more recent history...suggest you might like to have a look at Stuart Macintyre's 396 page book 'A Concise History of Australia'. Here:https://www.booktopia.com.au/cambridge-concise-histories-stuart-macintyre/prod9781107562431.html...Whatever you do, stay clear of Geoffrey Blainey who is a bit of a right-wing nutter.
My pleasure, JM. Sorry I couldn't find anything a bit more focussed for you - you might even do better just chasing down a few Wikipedia articles for a quick intro.
DeleteI wonder if the ABC learnt the misuse of 'unique' from the BBC - I saw a 'most unique' on bbc.com last week, and the ABC is adopting the misuse of 'beg the question' with gusto. How could you, Juanita?
ReplyDeleteWe all know that the Beeb is the ABC's big brother, JM, so lots of nonsense gets passed on all the time. But I have to confess that I do see some qualifiers of 'unique' to have meaning:
Delete"almost unique" ? "very unique" ?
In the first case, something that's rarer than "very rare" and in the second case, something that is so unique that there's nothing at all even remotely like it. So, for instance, we can say: "We are all exactly alike in our own very unique ways".
But the ones I really deplore are misusing "infer" when "imply" is meant and the use of "anticipate" when "foresee" is meant ("anticipate actually means "take action to avoid a foreseen consequence" for instance "he anticipated failure by studying diligently").
As to "begging the question", well ... one can consider that its use in logic theory to mean assuming what you purport to prove (and then using that assumption in the proof) is a bit abstruse at the best of times. What's wrong with just "assuming the proposition in question" ? But if only they'd said "begs one to question", then all would have been hunkey-dunkey.
Dorothy, Before you go I must, as one of your silent readers, thank you for hours of fun and reptile observation, shielded from their nasty smells and vicious fangs by the plexiglass of your fantastic blog. I have no idea how you have managed to maintain your dedication to exposing the madness at the centre of our mainstream media for so long. And I have nothing but admiration for your always insightful and always amusing comments. You have been an institution in my house, with often lengthy readings from the Pond over morning coffee. Your work has played no small part in maintaining our sanity and optimism over the last horrendouse years in our political history. While I had hoped that the Australian's business model would ensure its demise before your own retreat from the field, I am sure you have hastened its end. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And enjoy getting up later. It's really nice.
ReplyDeleteThis sums up my sentiments precisely (thank you malamuddy).
DeleteWishing you all the best in the future DP. You've earned it
zoot
Fully agree with you malamuddy. My day is incomplete without Dorothy’s musings on the loons.
DeleteI’ve been following DP almost from the beginning and have always wondered about the limited comments here.
Like you, I rarely comment, sadly, but the read is more than enough.
I am curious regards how many folk actually come here regularly........Dorothy?
Rather sad to be loosing the Australian version of Kesey and others.
“The fundamentalists have taken the fun out of the mental”
Hear hear Dot. You've (and you GB, Diddy, Werewolf, Via Collins and many annonies) given me a fantastic education. Many fantastic links to follow, many, many interesting and entertaining comments. My train trip home is Loon Pond, I don't know how you do it. My other entertainment is reading the fuckwits commenting in The Age.
DeleteOh, Anony-3, you're not a Peter Hartcher fan then ? But at least you have gotten some value, if not entertainment, from The Age and SMH's very 'vocal' retiree, Ross Gittins ? Or were you referring just to the daily letter and text contributors ? And if so, pick up a readable copy of the Herald Sun at your favourite coffee shop (assuming it has some freebies for customers to read) and learn what real, true fuckwitedness is.
DeleteAnyway, glad you got some value from my "additions" to Dorothy's Daily Dose of Dumb Doings.
There really is a sense of stress induced anger in the reptile scribbling as the election approaches......a Tempo Panico.
ReplyDeleteA bit like the sound of hammers on keyboards.
I’m quite enjoying it for some reason. Meanwhile, in the undulating hills and behind the 12ft. fences of Toorak there seems to be a bit of murmuring .......and even spitting of fine red wine.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/may/13/greens-within-striking-distance-in-josh-frydenbergs-seat-of-kooyong-poll-finds?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
"But it turned out that all the reptiles around the land had suddenly, overnight, become sluts for Clive …"
ReplyDeleteNot just reptiles, DP, the Nine masthead The Age also did it, but at least had the grace to insert it inside and leave the front unpoisoned. Might have put all of us off, otherwise..