Wednesday, March 13, 2019

In which "Ned" takes the floor and Dame Slap feels the fear …and so tries to herd the chooks ...


What is this madness, what is this treachery?

No, not Brexit, with the noble Theresa nobbled and undone even as the pond types, oh how noble was her mind, and now how lost she is …

Yes, it's the RBA, with its coal treachery and treasonous talk of climate science, with the kind of theological fervour that has angered the reptiles and their political allies for years …

Even worse someone allowed the oscillating fan to ramble in, and ramble on …


The situation is, as a New Zealander might say, grum, very grum, indeed, and so the reptiles whipped out their brightest to deal with the situation …


Pond readers expressed alarm at the strange brevity of "Ned's" recent effort, but there was no reason to be concerned. 

The pompous drone has returned to his usual form, and realises that boring the crap out of readers is the surest way to bring about calm … or a sense that the apocalypse is at hand, and we must prepare for the rapture …


Lost the politics of climate change? How shocking, how disturbing, and thank the long absent lord, "Ned" didn't feel the need to mention the actual science …

Oh once upon a time, "Ned" would have mentioned all this theological anti-coal anti-Monckton science nonsense, but now he's torn between the deep love of coal all the reptiles share, and the sense that perhaps this might be a little on the nose with the toffs of Wentworth, resting in their safe, leafy self-regarding seat … 

Oh how the lizards of Oz hate the privileged and well-off …


Sorry, the pond just had to slip that one in because "Ned" has barely warmed up, and doom and gloom must be the go … whereby the fate of the government is entwined with the fate of the nation, and all might be lost, and no thanks to middle-class moralists, the worst types, like bloody Xians, always blathering on about morality, and for what?


Ah yes, "Ned's" feeling his oats, and the reptiles' crusade-like campaign for dinkum clean true blue Oz coal might yet triumph over the rising tide of middle-class morality …

After all, the campaign is being conducted from Sydney's inner city 'leet Surry Hills, home of the world's greatest baristas … take that loser, drop-kick Queenslanders, you need a humble working-class man like "Ned", at work in Surry Hills to call it as it is … and foreshadow a national trauma, the end of the coalition, and so the end of the nation, the end of the country and possibly the end of the world, and with poor old dinkum clean coal and climate science denialists the innocent bystanders, shot down in the fray …

Oh mama, take this coal off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting' dark, too dark to see
Damn you renewables, what a bore,
I feel I'm knockin' on climate denialist heaven's door ..


Dear sweet long absent lord, he does drone on so, and yet it seemed by story's end that glorious coal, and wondrous Barners might be losers, and climate denialist Angus might have to change his stripes, and what to make of it all, the noble minds o'erthrown, though once they had a ready reptile wit and a crusader's strength …

Naturally the pond, wondering what the reptiles might do, turned to Rowe, who answered with a somewhat rustic and grotesque image, with more Rowe here



And so to another matter …

"The truth is - and we Americans don't like to admit it - that authoritarian societies can work." Rupert Murdoch

That gem was in Jane Mayer's The Making of the Fox News White House which the pond has been savouring in tree killer form, though it's also currently outside the paywall …

The pond noticed the other day that the reptiles' seemed to be hurting and that the business plan based on being a government propaganda arm, Pravda down under, wasn't going that well …

The desire, the business plan, to imitate Donald's favourite viewing in the States, was in a bit of bother, and the reptiles were feeling the heat ...

Who better than Dame Slap than to lash out at the ruffians roughing up News Corp?


The pond isn't going to say much. 

The fact that Dame Slap has joined the Miller's Tale shows how badly the reptiles are hurting, and the way she goes on about it at such length shows they must be really hurting …and if anyone had any doubts, surely the decision to give that wretched cartoonist Johannes Leak a chance to draw a half-baked image of a quill, instead of giving Lobbecke the cult floor, should be the closing argument ...


Oh go put on a MAGA hat and shout at the clouds. The pond feels more biblically inclined …

Thou feedist them with the bread of tears, and gives them tears to drink in great measure ...

Ah yes, once the Dame donned the MAGA hat and drank the tears …


But now, the memes and the reptile tears, if the pond might mix a metaphor, seem to be on the other foot …


Pathetic, really, that Dame Slap should rely on a couple of muppets to stick up for the reptiles, but oh, it must be hurting … first the Miller's tale of woe, now this … 

Apparently the midgets, the minuscules, have got the wind up the reptiles in a right royal way, and Dame Slap needs another two chunky gobbets to smote them mightily ...


The road to totalitarianism?

"The truth is - and we immigrant Murdochan Americans love to admit it - that authoritarian societies can work." Rupert Murdoch

But they must be hurting, they must really be hurting, what an incitement and an encouragement to those who don't want to see Sky News go as barking mad as Fox News in the States …how worrying it must be for those who donned MAGA caps and slid into the streets of New York and yearned to see such madness down under …

Now how to turn the traitors around? How to sweet soap them and soft talk them into seeing the light?

Why for that, you need Dame Slap at her most subtle, most lacking in spite and vitriol and spittle …

Call them corporate chickens. That should see them come home to roost with the reptiles ...


Why, the pond is driving a Hyundai this very day, as a substitute vehicle, and even if it resembled a dray cart, the pond would scribble in furious praise … because anything that pisses off Dame Slap is, by definition, a good thing worthy of support …

And the pond now thinks of Hotondo Homes and Poolwerx quite fondly, even if it can't think of a reason to need their services at the moment …

Meanwhile, the pond urges the reptiles to maintain the war with advertisers and businesses, calling them craven, cowardly and other names (surely cowardly custards), because it can only help the esteem in which the reptiles and Sky News are held … as bullies and thugs and gangstas …and redneck thuggees of the Dame Slap kind ...

Oh yes, the reptiles are hurting, it seems they're hurting badly, and if some sanity is introduced into the world of the reptiles, perhaps there's a slim chance that democracy might survive …though to be fair, authoritarian governments can be very successful, and the reptiles love the Donald and he loves the authoritarians, and all hail the Chairman, fearless leader, insisting everyone advertise with him … or else, he'll let loose the hounds … and Dame Slap …

What's it to be corporate chickens?

And now a bonus offering. 

The pond will excuse anyone who has already nodded off to sleep, or whose eyes have glazed over, and so forgot at the very top of the page, there was this splash … just beneath news of the Reserve's treachery …


Why mention this now, after a such a rich, full and very filling serve of "Ned" and Dame Slap?

Well, for the love of irony …


Why did the pond find this so funny?

Well Barilaro was once a coal man, and once felt the need to speak out …


But that was then, here. Oh he had the renewables raging here,  and Prime7 News North Coast was posting to Facebook here ...


And it wasn't just the Nine rag. News Corp's free site felt the heat: Climate change a vote changer in NSW ...

Where is your Barilaro now? Gone with the renewable wind energy, it seems …


Chaos everywhere, and now for the sublime decanting of the recanting ...


Oh poor sweet innocent lost clean dinkum true blue Oz coal … oh woeful crusader reptiles. Has it come to this after all those valiant years of crusading?

Barilaro recanting and entirely forgetting his love of coal, and coal-fired power stations, and so quickly too …

It must hurt, it must cut to the bone …just a NSW backbencher? 

Oh the cruelty of it all, way worse than being shown emerging from a cow's arse ...

And so to a cartoon in honour of the Murdochians and everything they do to make things better everywhere …



20 comments:

  1. Ned seems to believe that all Queenslanders are dinkum coal lovers. As John Quiggin points out, there's a problem with this analysis: " Queensland held a state election in 2017, in which the Adani proposal was a key issue. Labor won easily, holding the regional seats where Adani was supposed to create thousands of jobs, and picking up seats in the south-east corner."

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    1. Oh pish tush, Joe; you can't expect reptile fellow travellers to suddenly incorporate a sense of objective reality into their "thinking". That would result in automatic and immediate expulsion from the Club, wouldn't it.

      The Great Dictator Murdoch would disown them.

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  2. What the fck? Dame Slap thinks that a glorious fightback is happening and it was kicked off by Cassie? Cassie is a regular contributor to the awfulness of the comments on Catalaxy and she is very chuffed to have been mentioned as one of the heroes of the revolution.

    I still read the blog just for the schadenfreude and the laughs.

    Actually I should have said Cassie is a heroine because she is one of those not a feminist right wing women who just lurve big strong manly men who make women's lives easier by inventing Capitalism and all those wonderful labour saving devices that have made the world such a wonderful place for women. Just imagine life before ironing boards.

    But seriously the Cats and Kitteh's - cos women can't be cats you know - are quite delusional to be thinking that they and their boycott power will change anything; there have been any number of attempts by these fools to stop the long march through the institutions and the cultural Marxists who use Alinsky tactics apparently, by boycotting things they don't like.

    Lots of them have proudly and loudly boycotted even the Australian newspaper because it is too left and they do like to tell everyone how they abused the person on the other end of the phone when they call up to take their subscription money away. They do like abusing people.

    The Gillette ad really upset them and it's a wonder that this company can still be in business. They should really have folded given the vehemence of the disgust with such a man hating ad and the fears about what will happen to men in this dystopian future that is coming with the end of western civilisation and the way men are not men anymore.

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    1. Pardon my dubiety, Anony, but were men ever men ? My little familiarity with human history leads me to conclude that most of the "male gender" spent most of their lives kow-towing to sociopaths and psychopaths, hoping for just a moment of the great one's attention.

      I think Murdoch's reptiles are a good example of that.

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    2. Buggered if I know when men were men but David Buss has a lot of very interesting just-so-stories about how men and women behaved back in the early days before money or debt - as per David Graeber - changed everything about human behaviour.

      https://scholar.google.com.au/scholar?q=david+buss+evolutionary+psychology+summary&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart

      Surely the Mudoch reptiles men and women do it for the money; the measure of a man and now women thanks to feminism? Profit is the real God.

      Buss tells one story about how a group of men must have ganged up on the alpha male at some stage in prehistory and either got rid of him or forced him to be part of a collective that worked for the good of the group rather than the good of the individual.

      Buss tells such good stories that he links this event to the Oedipus complex story.

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    3. Well, thanks but no thanks; I gave up reading fairy stories - especially of the "evolutionary psychology" kind - several decades ago.

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  3. Oh that's so sad GB.

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  4. GrueBleen wrote
    "...were men ever men ? My little familiarity with human history leads me to conclude that most of the "male gender" spent most of their lives kow-towing to sociopaths and psychopaths, hoping for just a moment of the great one's attention."

    Hey babes, I don't know what mongrel you dated that give you such a high opinion of men but that's a pretty wide brush you are tarring all of us with. Why don't you hie off to the Kokoda Trail and tell the Diggers buried there your little theory.
    Now I finally get what Teddy Two Times, a bookie in Hoboken, meant when he'd say "dem broads is moider."

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    1. I think the "diggers buried there", and those they were fighting, just clearly demonstrates the point, JM. No kow-towing = no stupid, murderous colonial wars.

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    2. GrueBleen wrote - "I think the "diggers buried there", and those they were fighting, just clearly demonstrates the point, JM. No kow-towing = no stupid, murderous colonial wars."

      To review, the Japanese were the aggressors, the brutality they inflicted on the native peoples there reflected the fact their army was more at home in the Dark Ages than the 20th century. I for one look askance at putting a dozen women at a time in front of a village and then have 300 soldiers rape them to death. Some Japanese made a habit of cannibalism, especially to Aussies. Since there was no refrigeration in the jungle, they didn't kill the POWs outright but kept them as beef on the hoof, carving off slices at a time. The conditions in Papua, a mere 150 miles from the Oz mainland were the worst in WW2, worse than the Eastern Front. Yet you shrug your shoulders at the horrors your neighbors - soldiers aren't some 'other', they are YOUR kin and kith - endured.
      I am sure you'd rather have had Australia fight back against Japan, as opposed to surrender and for the past 80 years endure having the Japanese garrison in Sydney inflicting weekly mass rapes in Kings Cross or bayonet practice on people grabbed off the street in Perth. Ko-towing!? Kow-towing is not fighting back against Japan, those noble samurai who starved to death for kicks one million civilians in Vietnam.
      If you can't spare a thought for your countrymen who spared YOU that fate thru their deaths, then may God/Odin/Kylie Minouge/whatever help you.
      By the way, no disrespect intended by my assuming you were a woman, as I thought from your post it was a virtual condemnation of all men(which includes you) by one of the fair sex.

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    3. No probs re the gender assumption, JM, I made a similar thoughtless, reflex assumption myself just a day or so ago.

      However, I think you are supporting my point: yes, the Japanese were the attacking force that time, conducting the very first international colonial war in Japanese history as far as I'm aware. And yes, the Aussie troops on the Kokoda trail fought to stop the Japanese and many of them were conscripts so they had very limited opportunity not to kow-tow (even though my own father volunteered but was rejected, and just as well since if he'd been accepted we might not be having this conversation). And yes, on balance I'd rather we had fought and stopped the Japanese, despite the appalling death toll on all sides.

      But the Australians who went to South Africa and all of the Australians who fought in WWI were volunteers - pursuing pallid colonialism in one case and insane imperialism in the other. To what end ?

      It isn't all men though, of course. Even in WWII some would suffer through being 'pacifists' - some became 'ambulance men' at the front, though many others refused any role at all in the fighting.

      Tell me, though, did Hitler benefit from a lot of enthusiastic kow-towing or not ? Stalin ? Mao ? And now Trump, Viktor Orban, Jair Bolsonaro, Rodrigo Duterte, Hugo Chavez ... the list goes on.

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  5. Ooops Jersey Mike. Are you jumping to conclusions here? GrueBleen is a bloke and I'd bet he has never dated a mongrel.

    But about the Kokada Trail are you saying that the diggers were the real men and the New Guinea men were not?

    But hey dude one of my grandfathers was an officer in New Guinea and he was no real man; he molested my sister and me and told stories about how he beat the black 'boy' who seemed to be some sort of slave he had.

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    1. Thanks for that vote of confidence, Anony.

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    2. AnonymousMar wrote -
      "Ooops Jersey Mike. Are you jumping to conclusions here? GrueBleen is a bloke and I'd bet he has never dated a mongrel.
      But about the Kokada Trail are you saying that the diggers were the real men and the New Guinea men were not?
      But hey dude one of my grandfathers was an officer in New Guinea and he was no real man; he molested my sister and me and told stories about how he beat the black 'boy' who seemed to be some sort of slave he had.

      Hi Anon,
      I think you made quite a leap there in saying I somehow was disparaging the New Guinea natives, no way no how. In fact they were vital in keeping the supplies moving to the Front, and as such were held in high esteem and gratitude by your army.
      My heart broke when you related what your degenerate monster grandfather did to you and your sister, in addition to his bigotry. But that is anecdotal evidence, you can't extrapolate from that all service members behaved as he did.
      He almost certainly lied about his "slave" anyway, somehow trying to enhance himself in your eyes by claiming that. Trust me, no average Private Yobbo in any army is going to be allowed or issued a servant! He sounds like a punk in all facets of his life and if he ever showed you a medal for valor he likely won it in a poker game or as we say in Jersey, "heisted it."
      Keep your chin up and please don't let this bastard stay in your head, he is too small for that.

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    3. Good grief Jersey Mike "a degenerate monster"? That's a bit judgy don't you think? And I'm so sorry your heart is broke but I'm sure you'll get over it very quickly.

      So never mind the rest of your attempt at communicating your views on masculinity and how the dead diggers in New Guinea are the epitome of what a man is, the only thing I need to clarify among the many misunderstandings of what has been written here, is that Officers in WW2 certainly did have slaves - called Batmen.

      My grandfather did not lie about his service or his experiences. He was an officer. Can you read that word? Not a private and in New Guinea during the Second World War the batmen were often New Guinea men who were called boys in the charming way that US racists refer to grown men who have black skin.

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  6. A very rare ripple in the placid waters of the loon pond here.

    It's a very odd view that a person who found certain men's behaviour odious and repellent would ipso facto be a woman. Very odd indeed.

    I'm a bloke who shakes his head quite regularly at the outcomes delivered by the male of the species. Why here in the pond alone we seen Barnes, the onion muncher - and how about the arm breaker?

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    1. The pond enjoyed the ripples VC. There's nothing like a little war-mongering and the smell of napalm in the morning to reassure the pond that there'll always be the killing fields, with lots and lots of killing to be done in the name of cutting the egg from the right end ...

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    2. Oh pish tush, DP, none of us could believe for a moment that a gentle angel such as yourself would really be turned on by napalm in the morning (and at lunchtime and tea-time and at bed time and at ...).

      Anyway, I reckon there's a bit of a barney working its way up at the moment: old-fashioned, classical economists of the Paul Krugman and Brad DeLomg kind versus the neomodern forces of MMT, cheerfully led by our very own Bill Mitchell. Can a modern nation really work just by printing money instead of collecting taxes ? AOC apparently reckons so.

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  7. AnonymousMar 14, 2019, 1:59:00 PM
    Good grief Jersey Mike "a degenerate monster"? That's a bit judgy don't you think? And I'm so sorry your heart is broke but I'm sure you'll get over it very quickly.

    So never mind the rest of your attempt at communicating your views on masculinity and how the dead diggers in New Guinea are the epitome of what a man is, the only thing I need to clarify among the many misunderstandings of what has been written here, is that Officers in WW2 certainly did have slaves - called Batmen.
    My grandfather did not lie about his service or his experiences. He was an officer. Can you read that word? Not a private and in New Guinea during the Second World War the batmen were often New Guinea men who were called boys in the charming way that US racists refer to grown men who have black skin.

    Hi Anonymous,
    Well yeah, I can relate to others pain in regards to that sort of sexual abuse because it occurred in my family. Whatever need you fulfill by striking out at me with your oddly bitter comeback and unfair assumptions and need to indicate racism/militarism on my part reflects on you.
    You never indicated your relation's status as an officer.
    Batmen were slaves? That was good duty if you were in uniform. But in your understanding all the officers had batmen in the field? What, to serve tea? Your knowledge appears to stem from watching old Black Adder IV reruns about the British Army in WW1.
    This wasn't the peace time army with Colonel Blimp types being served on silverware in the officers mess.
    In New Guinea most of the time the men were sick and starving on half rations.
    Natives willing to serve were paid and were needed to bring supplies to the front, no one short of a major would remotely have had available a "slave" as you choose to call them.
    Unless your gramps was a staff officer far from the front, I'm afraid your "story" won't wash. There is the BS factor wherein old Vets exaggerate or plain make up stories when asked about the war. That's because only about 20% of the troops are actually fighting infantry, the rest are supporting troops such as artillery/armor and the logistical tail that can stretch back thousands of miles.
    By the way, the native peoples in New Guinea flocked to the Allied forces and looked to help them once they interacted with the Japanese. For some reason they objected to the Japanese murdering them.

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  8. dorothy parkerMar wrote,
    The pond enjoyed the ripples VC. There's nothing like a little war-mongering and the smell of napalm in the morning to reassure the pond that there'll always be the killing fields, with lots and lots of killing to be done in the name of cutting the egg from the right end ...

    Hi Dorothy,
    Fair go, how do you deem me a war monger? I honor the poor bastards who suffer in wars. Ask them for the geo-political reasons they are there, the economic forces at play, how arms sellers affect decisions etc and they won't have a clue, at best recycling some sort of "patriotic" argument as reason enough to go to the slaughter house.
    The finest film ever made on war is Paddy Chayefsky's "The Americanization of Emily." James Garner gave 2 speeches in it that are perhaps the truest things ever uttered on the subject.
    Brilliant, anyone reading this who then goes out to view it will thank me. What some of your readers don't grasp is that combat veterans are the most anti-war folks you will ever run across, they aren't the militarists, scum like Trump are. It's the Vets who left their dead buddies or favorite body part on the field.
    I honor and feel compassion for them, not war. Once they have been shot at, all the patriotism garbage is forgotten, they fight to keep alive and for their buddies/mates, period.
    But maybe I'm wrong, why don't we all go to a VA Hospital and torment some poor slob with horrible wounds and tell him it's all a result of him imposing his idea of manhood on everyone else?
    PS - Just an aside, but I first posted here some time ago to look for the investigations of Trump and resultant criminal charges by the states of NY and NJ when people like Greg Sheridan were oblivious to it. And now the investigations are coming to light. Any good reporter worth his/her salt need only go talk to active or retired Manhattan South detectives and they will regale you with stories of Trump's illegal
    activities in the buildings trades. Trump has no power to pardon with state charges, the state cops will be waiting to arrest him the moment he leaves office. I hope I'm on the jury.

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