Tuesday, February 12, 2019

In which the pond joins the bromancer for the greatest show on earth ...


Sigh, another day amongst the shouty segment of the press that keeps everyone at the pond - all one of us - on edge all the time, and means the pond might not think the way sensible people think …

… though strangely none of the shouty press were shouty at Malware when he was fucking the NBN on direct order from the onion muncher, and carried out his mission with tremendous success … and only now, it seems, are some of the punters taken for the ride slowly starting to realise …

To quote the poodle, "And I thought that this is the Australian broadband of the future. This is what we've now got. And it's different to what I think is good for the country."

Oh okay, he was actually blathering about polity and the shouty press, but what do you know, sometimes the shouty reptile press fails to deliver the right shout at the right time.

Besides, along with the shoutiness, there should be circuses, because that means clowns, but look at today's measly offerings …

Dame Groan thought she should be in a musical …


What a dreary film it was, a one song show, and now one note Dame Groan is groaning about the cost of the Royal Commission? 

Well it wouldn't do to groan about the banks and the rip-off merchants ... the shouts and the moans and the keening and wailing have to be carefully aimed.

At least the lizard Oz editorialist got all shouty about being a climate denialist …


Damn you climate scientists, damn you all, of course the lizard Oz editorialist had to get shouty. 

Being shouty is damned good science, and the only way to shout down your alarmist hysteria. Why the lizard Oz has been proudly denying science for decades now, and look where it's got them and the planet…where will it all end, this madness?


Say what? Dame Groan started with a musical and now we're in a dud movie with George Clooney as Independents and climate form perfect storm for the good ship Coalition.

But at least we've got a clown, a navel-gazing clown recycling the copy the reptiles gurgitated only a little while ago, not least from well-known denialist Judith Curran ...


Okay, it's all good, solid climate science denialist stuff, but where's the circus? 

Even the bromancer was a little off on his game this day ...


Now it goes without saying that the bromancer is being shouty at the poodle and the rest of SloMo's government, all of whom are complicit in the submarine folly and the NBN debacle … yes, Scott Morrsion ally helps French lock in submarine 'contract of the century' with Australia …

The pond thought it might just sample a little of the bromancer going all shouty at the poor poodle and the rest of the mob…


Okay, that's a circus, but it's a low rent antipodean one … so the pond did what it had promised to do, dusted off the fish, shooed the seagulls away from the soggy limp chips, broke the glass and got out some ancient bromancer …as stale as a lost, or at least, last weekend …but once much admired, once proudly at the top of the digital page ma, top of the page …


Oh sorry, how did that shouty cartoon slip in? Apologies to Jimmy Cagney, Raoul Walsh and the bromancer ...


Yep, it's top of the page ma and as formidable as ever, and the pond bets there'll be a circus, and possible a cartoon or two ...


Or perhaps a grasp on reality, because after all Trump's State of the Union polled well ... because Republicans watched it 

… but then the Donald and the reptiles are as one, and moral degeneracy and intellectual idiocy are where they make a defiant last stand together, as Trump again confuses climate change with weather in tweet attacking Amy Klobuchar ...

But enough of actual newspapers reporting actual delusions … how about a cartoon and then it's on with another soggy stale chup … (and a shout-out to any stray Kiwi having fun at the circus) …




You see, one of the sweetest things about the bromancer is the way he hints that perhaps the Donald is a liar and a rogue, but he still loves him … oh he loves the Donald, he just loves him …


Yep, there he goes again, talking up the Donald's chances … or perhaps aiming for a guest spot on Fox and Friends …


A circus and cartoons, all thanks to stale, soggy bromancer, still moist from the tears of love and adoration ...


Let me hasten to observe …?

Oh come on the shouty press loves the shouty Donald, and the bromancer just loves all the shoutiness … he doesn't mind doing a little shoutiness himself … and so what joy for the cartoonists ...


Now what's the bet that the reptiles can't resist slipping in a fiery young democratic socialist to get all the aged shouters at clouds a little excited … why that young thing deserves a good thrashing, and the readers of Oz, perhaps drooling a little, are just the ones to give it to her ...


Ah, yes, the Donald has introduced a truly elevated tone to the national debate …

 

And all done with a strong work ethic ...


Sadly, there's always an end to any circus, but the pond managed to snatch one last stale bromancer chup from the cheeky beak of a ferocious seagull ...


In sum, delusions rampant, bromancer in peak form, ultimately very successful speech, ultimately a truly weird and wonderful column, and talk about the greatest show on earth …

It's only to be seen when the bromancer takes to the high wire … though as the pond remembers it, there's always a danger for circus workers, and members of the shouty press ...


Never mind, soon we'll be having our very own circus, and with the hordes yet again coming down from the north, as the always reliable Rowe points out, it might well be Australian with American characteristics …with more Rowe rampant here



7 comments:

  1. Well, 6 hours already and still no comments. But that's not really hard to understand; I for one have seldom encountered such a rancid pile of unleavened wiffle piffle - the Bromancer has completely lost it.

    Not that he ever was particularly self-consistent or rational (just contemplate the list of those he's Bromanced !), but at least it wasn't quite at the stage of "Hello birds, hello sky, hello Trump the apple of my eye." I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear Greggie spouting that "Of course Trump sits on the right hand of whatever lump of illusory mythology I call God".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's hope the Oz readership has the same level of interest and the last of the subscribers drain away (actually, die is more likely).

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  2. Trump smarter than the average Yogi Bear, the Bromancer surely has lost the plot. There is no average Yogi Bear, there is only the one Yogi, and he sure is smarter that Trump and all his supporters including Murdoch's lick spittle, the Bromancer.

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  3. Hi Dorothy,

    “Confusion over what is weather and what is climate has been enthusiastically played up by some green groups, scientific bodies and government-funded agencies”

    Today in Brisbane the maximum temperature was 34.8’C, that’s weather. Yesterday in Brisbane it was 31.5’C, that was weather. On Sunday the maximum was 32.8’C that was also weather. In fact the maximum temperature for Brisbane has been above 30’C for 34 days in a row but I’m sure that’s still just weather.

    So just when does it become climate?

    Don’t ask these guys they are government-funded;

    “Brisbane had a record run of 16 days in a row at or above 32 °C, surpassing the previous January record of five days ending on 30 January 2001; the run of 16 days was also a record for any month, beating the previous record of 14 days ending 13 February 2017”

    http://www.bom.gov.au/climate/current/month/qld/brisbane.shtml

    So could the anonymous Oz editorialist explain how many days does the maximum temperature have to remain above average before it stops becoming weather and becomes climate?

    I don’t want to be confused.

    DiddyWrote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DW, I remember Brisbane, a summer storm would roll in like clockwork. 28 degrees every day. Those days are long gone.

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    2. It's really very simple, DW: there's climate - spelled c-l-i-m-a-t-e - and then there's weather - spelled w-e-a-t-h-e-r. So they're obviously two entirely different and unconnected things in the reptile universe.

      Asking simple questions like "If the climate changes, do you think the weather will change too ?" just confuses them.

      Delete
  4. The death of the reef and fish kills are a normal?

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