The pond overdid it yesterday, one of those holiday season reptile dégustations that produce a bloated feeling of nausea and despair …
And so this day it decided to take it easy … have a quiet time playing with assorted Murdochian projects and schemes ... until it spotted a weakness in the Force, in the land of the crows of all places … with rebellious talk of heat waves and boiling frogs and CODE RED …
And so this day it decided to take it easy … have a quiet time playing with assorted Murdochian projects and schemes ... until it spotted a weakness in the Force, in the land of the crows of all places … with rebellious talk of heat waves and boiling frogs and CODE RED …
What next? How soon before a heat-stricken Murdochian tabloid starts to run subversive Pope cartoons?
What on earth could the 'leet reptiles of Surry Hills do about this dire situation?
Would anyone be brave enough to leave their world-class baristas and head over to sooth troubled, heat-laden, hellfire-ripped souls?
Perhaps a Flinty, or a Moorice? Second thoughts, a lecture from Bjorn about how new technology would fix everything and dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi was just the thing for the dead fishes and the crows, that'd sort them out.
These rustic, parochial Murdochian crow eaters were deep in despair and vile heresy …
Would anyone be brave enough to leave their world-class baristas and head over to sooth troubled, heat-laden, hellfire-ripped souls?
Perhaps a Flinty, or a Moorice? Second thoughts, a lecture from Bjorn about how new technology would fix everything and dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi was just the thing for the dead fishes and the crows, that'd sort them out.
These rustic, parochial Murdochian crow eaters were deep in despair and vile heresy …
Pish posh, crow eaters, harden up, read the lizard Oz on a daily basis as the pond does, and all will be well …
It made the pond think that today would be an opportune time to review other successful reptile initiatives …
First there's the home war on the enemy, and here the pond is please to report there were advances on all fronts …
First there's the home war on the enemy, and here the pond is please to report there were advances on all fronts …
Yes, the unions were terrifying the reptiles, and so copping the bashing they deserve, and at the top of the digital opinion page, those wretched vested interests were ruining everything, but Jane Hume was on hand to sound tremendously bipartisan. It was jolly good reassuring stuff … hockey sticks, what what.
In the mother country - let us never forget Western white civilisation and the Ramsay centre - things were also proceeding to a splendid climax …
Oh that doesn't sound good, that doesn't sound good at all, if anything that sounds like the quivering and quavering of Murdochian reptiles caught in an SA heatwave …
Luckily the pond had the lizard editorialist to hand for some sound advice …
Nothing to fear!
Crash out, burn baby burn, Adam's got the goods, he'll see you right.
Oh sure elsewhere you might read that the Tory whip has resigned, Bercow is on the loose and backs a proxy vote for a careless woman who decided to get pregnant (what is it with women?), but remember, Boris is full of infinite wisdom …
Crash out, burn baby burn, Adam's got the goods, he'll see you right.
Oh sure elsewhere you might read that the Tory whip has resigned, Bercow is on the loose and backs a proxy vote for a careless woman who decided to get pregnant (what is it with women?), but remember, Boris is full of infinite wisdom …
Ah LBC, home of James O'Brien …
Graudian the rest of Boris here (warning, taste for comedy and/or strong stomach required), but surely it goes without saying that Boris and the reptiles know more about anything and everything than some mug actually running a company …crash out, burn baby burn, Adam and the lizard editorialist will see you right …
It reminded me of that other reptile project … and things were sounding a little grim there too …
Graudian the rest of Boris here (warning, taste for comedy and/or strong stomach required), but surely it goes without saying that Boris and the reptiles know more about anything and everything than some mug actually running a company …crash out, burn baby burn, Adam and the lizard editorialist will see you right …
It reminded me of that other reptile project … and things were sounding a little grim there too …
That can't be right. Nobody knows more about anything than the Donald ...
It's an old joke, one the pond loves repeating, just as it likes to read Alice at least once a year …
'I see nobody on the road,' said Alice.
'I only wish I had such eyes,' the King remarked in a fretful tone. 'To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance, too! Why, it’s as much as I can do to see real people, by this light!'
But enough of Nobody, how's the reptile experiment with the Donald going in this light?
The Democrats left the capital? But, billy goat, butt, so did the Republicans … and for some strange, deeply perverse reason, people took the Donald at his word and accepted he should wear the mantle for the shutdown …
Meanwhile, with private conversations kept private, even from others on the same 'team Donald', cartoonists had a field day …
On with the list, if you please ...
Of course it's a conspiracy, a really mean nasty girl attempt to undermine our Flinty, just when Flinty's going to be extremely busy sorting out the heatwave for the crow eaters …
How dare anyone ridicule Flinty, or the Donald. Why it's a model of policy clarity over there … nobody knows better than the Donald how to do it …
And so on, sssh, there's a dumb bully in the room, but the pond must get back to the reptile history lesson ...
"No one in Washington appears to know…"?
Well at least that's better than Nobody …
And there you have it, things are going swimmingly well in a bigly way with all the reptile projects.
Burn baby burn, fry in SA, crash and burn in the UK, and blow up the middle east, and it's only Tuesday …
Here, with that sort of success emanating from Surry Hills, you might need more than a coffee from the world's best baristas serving it up to the Murdochian 'leet.
Perhaps a cartoon might help ease an anxiety attack (but why not run an air conditioner and use up even more dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi …)
Perhaps a cartoon might help ease an anxiety attack (but why not run an air conditioner and use up even more dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi …)
Sheesh, there was the pond forgetting we had our own school of clowns, with more clown studies by the infallible Pope to be found here …
But the pond was thinking more of the Murdochian American project …
But the pond was thinking more of the Murdochian American project …
It is so good to have you back.
ReplyDeleteCameron the Stewart: "But Pentagon officials say they do not take orders from Mr Bolton..."
ReplyDeleteThey don't ? Ohh, hu coodanode ? But do they take orders from Mr Trump, or are they just going along with the joke ?
And talking about the Trump, since he claimed he hasn't left the WH in weeks or months or maybe years, I looked up the itinerary for his Texas visit. It went like this:
Trump is scheduled to arrive in McAllen at 12:45 p.m. Central Standard Time, according to a schedule released by the White House.
From the airport, Trump will travel to a U.S. Border Patrol Station and participate in a round-table on immigration and border security with mayors, county judges, law enforcement personnel and other South Texas leaders.
At 2:30 p.m., Trump will visit the Rio Grande River and receive a briefing on border security efforts.
From there, he will head back to the airport and land back in Washington D.C. after 8 p.m. local time.
Yep, that's barely even a day trip - though I'm sure he learned everything in the time he was there - so who in their right cotton-pickin' mind would think of that as Trump having left the White House ?
And while we're thinking about the trumpsters of the world, what about SloMo ? Is he turning into a dictatorial martinet or what ? Must celebrate Jan 26th and must wear a tie and jacket to do it. And just for the curious, the answer is no, ScoMo isn't turning into a martinet of very small brain because he's always been one.
Yes, I love Morrison's foot in mouth over dress standards. Up there in Darwin with absolutely nothing important to talk about less he stick his foot in it - that - or actually nothing important to talk about because they don't actually have an agenda, then he goes and sticks his foot in it.
DeleteI don't find Pope the wittiest cartoonist, not Rowe, Wilcox or Moir - but his art is fantastic, and I love him drawing Morrison as a clown - not just a clown, but he has just the right level of puffed up pomposity.