Monday, November 05, 2018

In which the pond strolls amongst the Trump-loving Oreo and Major Mitchell ...


It might seem like a difficult choice - taxpayer-funded cash in the paw propaganda from the Caterists, or pure loonacy from the Oreo - but the pond has a point to prove, and so it's an easy one to make …

You see, most of the reptiles offer a kind of bromancer-style ambivalence to the Donald - you know, hate him personally, what with the daily lies, and the obnoxious narcissist personality, and the resemblance to a Mafia boss, and so and so endlessly forth ... but love his many tremendously successful policies, invisible though they might be to anyone but a bromancer … (though all the reptiles have to admire the sheer quantity of fear, hate, loathing and division the Donald manages to generate).

But the pond has always thought this sort of bromancer-style ambivalence just a pretence, a form of 'on the one handism' dissembling … because on the other hand, the reptiles are in reality a seething hive mind deeply in love with the Donald …

Klingons if you will …


Lord and Lady Haw-Haws down under, forelock-tugging and always ready to smite and smote the Donald's enemies down under, or easy up over …wherever they might be, lurking as enemies of the people ...

And so the pond presents the Oreo as irrefutable evidence …with the amazing talent of Tom Jellett showing how sensitive the reptiles are in their portrait of women …as fire-breathing dragons...

Why, is there nothing they won't do to show their love of the pussy-groper and their deep insights into dragons?


The notion that the hive mind 'lock her up' chanting Oreo represents some kind of brand of rational freethinking women would usually warrant a cartoon, and it's true that the pond has a different image of the usual Republican voter …


But enough of angry old white men - perhaps not all of them are height- or hair-challenged or wear ludicrous orange tops - because there's another gobbet of Oreo, and Lenin is surely about to enter the discussion ...


The pain that the Oreo suffers on behalf of the Donald almost moved the pond to tears, but instead the pond decided to move on quickly to the last gobbet ...


And that's how to defend a pussy groper, and by any measure, it's a top-notch effort from the Oreo …but now for the bad news …

It might look like the Donald loves Oreos ...


… but the Donald actually hates Oreos …
“I love Oreos. I’ll never eat them again. Okay? I’ll never eat them again…” (oh okay, it was way back when …)

And now for the second part of the pond's proof …thanks to the Major ...

Anyone with even the slightest awareness of the reptile hive mind would have realised that the Order of Lenin hunting Major Mitchell was a likely Donald lover …


Again, it's just a matter of the pond lolling back in its Confederate flag - there are good folk on both sides of the argument, and the pond is as nationalist as the next reptile, and your average Major Mitchell is from the deepest parts of white nationalist Queensland, and possibly wouldn't mind if the Nats allowed a few nationalists or neo-Nazis into the ranks, or at least some decent Donald lovers …


Now as usual, with the militia heading to the border and the Donald in love with barbed wire, and Pastor Jeffress explaining on Fox how the Pope is a globalist who wants one world government, the Major is absolutely right to point out how the Donald is all the fault of the "librul" media, who are genuinely the enemies of the people, and particularly, the enemies of the Major and the Murdochians …

You won't find the pond making the same mistake. The pond certainly won't be comparing the Donald to the likes of Adolf Hitler.

As Bill Maher famously noted, Adolf Hitler voluntarily joined the German Army and didn't use his bone spurs as an excuse to be a draft dodger …

Tish boom …

And now it's back to the defence of the Donald … just remember there were good folk on both sides in Charlottesville chanting "Jews will not replace us" … and it's all the fault of that Jew George Soros … and David Dukes loves the Donald, and naturally so does our Major Mitchell ...


Can the Major get any more weird? Newt Gingrich, the man who makes the onion muncher look like a rank amateur when it comes to the politics of hate, saying it's all about the Soviet Union, when there's a servile Donald in the house doing everything he can to bend the knee to Vlad the impaler …

    





By golly, who knew there'd be so many cartoons out there sharing the love of the Donald and Vlad, and delaying the last gobbet of the Major Mitchell's finest thoughts?

Perhaps it was just as well, because it'll take days for the stench of the Major quoting Gingrich quoting Martin Luther King out of the pond's nostrils …

It's a bit like Satanists or angry Sydney Anglicans quoting Jesus Christ and pretending they're at one with Christ's message ...


Weird, or what? Defending the Donald by talking about the narcissism of the left and identity politics?

Every time the pond reads the Major, it can only marvel at the elevated hairline, which as any narcissist knows is a sure sign of a devotee of the Donald …



Actually, if you've ever been gay, or been a woman who's been pussy-groped, or just generally groped, or understand how the HUN has made life barely tolerable for black people in Melbourne, you might want to take a different view to that of an intolerant, bigoted angry old male from the deep north who still hasn't found that Order of Lenin …

Or, if you're the pond, you'll just settle for a few more cartoons … and breathe a sigh of relief that at least you've ducked the terminally boring and tedious Caterist for another day …





6 comments:

  1. Maj Mitch quotes Neut Gingrich quoting Martin Luther King: "There are twice as many white poor as Negro poor in the United States."

    Now at the last official count (Census 2010) "white non-Hispanics" comprised 60% of the American population, and 'African Americans' (aka Negros) comprised 12.7%. So, there's very nearly about 5 times as many "white non-Hispanics" as there are Negros, but only twice as many poor whites as poor Negros.

    That all sounds pretty right to your average reptile innumerate, doesn't it ?

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Replace the word white with black and imagine the outrage." But then the satire wouldn't work Jennifer. Surely you understands satire?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Why would a Herald editor reprint such a piece, Andrew Bold asked Sydney Institute Director Gerrard Henderson on Bolt's Tuesday night Sky news media segment?" I don't know Chris. Like most people in the country I didn't watch it. And, write you're own column mate, it's a bit cheap rewriting Andrew Bolt's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi AT,

      Indeed, it begs the metaphysical question, that if Gerard Henderson talks to Andrew Bolt, on Sky after dark, and nobody watches, is it all the fault of the ABC?

      A philosophical question for the ages.

      DW

      Delete
    2. Naah, it'd be the fault of the Daily Mail, DW.

      If you believe the ABC's Media Watch that is, as apparently all of the Murdoch reptiles now do.

      Delete
  4. Oh the Caterist review this week will be tremendously better than usual.

    @ALeighMP on Twitter: "In today's Australian, Nick Cater attacks my 9 Oct @nytimes oped because it didn't use unemployment data released by the ABS on 18 Oct. #ausecon #auspol"

    ReplyDelete

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