Friday, August 31, 2018

In which the pond speaks in tongues before Giles announces a post-modernist apocalypse ...

The pond must stand corrected … at least one reptile took a look at the mutton Dutton in recent days …

   

The pond has some time for Kudelka, but generally doesn't like to mention him, for fear of noting that he must slave away in the bowels of the Murdochians as penance for some crime in a previous life …

And then there's a more general problem with cartooning at the lizard Oz. For some reason, the reptiles stay loyal to a cartoonist with little talent, and little discernible capacity for sharp wit or even humour ...


Wasn't there someone to tell him that he needed a catchier, or at least a shorter punchline? Sadly the seed might not fall far from the tree's ambitions, but the result might still be a stunted orchard …

The pond is pleased to see the reptiles are loyal to the brand name, but misplaced loyalty can be a cruel thing…here's hoping a lot more practice sees some improvements …as always, the pond would settle for being funny.

Meanwhile, speaking of funny, after the outrage at the ABC's daring to do comedy, the reptiles were busy trying to polish another apple …


Oh dear, this is going to be a hard one to swallow, as Eve once said to the serpent ...


Yes, yes, but can we just cut to the chase and remember that deep down it's all about speaking in tongues, getting ready for the rapture and otherwise howling at the moon?


But the pond has been there before … dearly as the pond loves the deeply flawed King James version, how about the way that the Pentecostalists are barking mad biblical literalists, and never mind the issues surrounding the many conflicting things in the bible, the many different hands involved in its composition, the many different translations, the endless interpretations and the theological arguments and disputes about the conflicts and the translations?

The history of Christianity involves more splitters than even the Islamic weirdos managed, and yet ScoMo apparently believes that all scriptures and therefore all translators and translations are infallible and there is but one interpretation which unerringly reveals everything … which seems like an attempt to make US constitutional originalism by comparison grounded in reality and a form of sanity ...


There's more here, but the reptiles aren't intent on wondering just how barking mad it is to see the rapture around the corner, and the devil under the bed, and humanity depraved, and one of the solutions to speak in tongues … though it does make the pond wonder about the character reference …


By golly, couldn't they have picked a better sample still for ScoMo? He looks quite demented and possessed in that snap … look at the crazed eyes and the Forrest Gump grin. He seems about ready for a burst of speaking in tongues, when really he should just be doing his usual round of political lying with a straight face …you know, like claiming that you have the PM of Australia in your camp is living proof of your lack of political influence …

And what about that cap on top of the bizarre grin? How do Paul Kelly and Kev Carmody feel about that shameless trading off? Why, it's about as fake as the pond donning a Cronulla Sharks salary cap cap ...

But enough of this because the pond got very angry at the distraction. 

You see Giles returned to the Speccie mob this day, and the pond reveres its Giles' outings, and really Giles should have been the lead, and the bloody reptiles got in the way with something that really should have left to a Sunday meditation …

So please get cracking Giles, remind the pond how approaching senility is going to affect it too …


Oh dear, not the post-modern apocalypse? Can a speaking in tongues rapture be far behind?


Ah yes, homosexuals living in domestic contentment. What a hideous form of devious Marxism. Why the wretches probably talk of love and devotion in their sinister Marxist way, but a good Christian know how to deal with their depravity. Off to hell for all eternity with the lot of them …

But stay, what brings Giles out to deplore the prospect of happy homosexuals, the very thought no doubt leading him to an attack of the Churchillian black dog and a very heavy bout of drinking?

Yep, he's got a book to flog about the post-modern apocalypse ...


Indeed, indeed. The pond itself is routinely shocked at the bizarre sight of the reptiles of Oz swinging to the hard, post-modernist deviant pinko commie pervert left. 

Each day some fresh horror in the lizard Oz presents itself, some suggestion that Dame Slap, Dame Groan, nattering "Ned", the bromancer, the dog botherer and all the rest have seen the light and swung towards post-modernist climate science and similar deviancies.

Why the prospect of tolerance, understanding and mutual respect emanating from the reptile pages is guaranteed to send the pond into a bigoted, intolerant, one-eyed fundamentalist rage for days ...

It's true that the pond needed the most powerful microscope ever invented to spot the shift, but the pond did so wish that at the very end of that painful gobbet, poor Giles hadn't felt the need to blather on about his blathering on for The Spectator

It reminded the pond of Australia's flawed immigration policies, and how the black sheep of Britain still seemed to imagine they could flee to Australia, when surely the best way forward is a steady flow of au pairs from Europe, likely not affected by Churchillian black dog syndrome, rampant depression and despair (though possibly local brewers and distillers might disagree and welcome this trade) ...


Well as a dedicated atheist, the pond must now trot off for its class in Marxist belief, while Giles trots off to Christianity for his course on why slavery is approved of in the bible, and why homosexuals must be damned to all eternity for their crime of love …

And now to wrap things up, how about a Wilcox, suggesting that she and Kudelka had something of the same idea, with more Wilcox here



4 comments:

  1. Caption to picture: "...Michael Murphy with his wife Valery and dog Charlie ..."

    How sad for a fine looking canine to have those "humans" inflicted upon it as its "owners". Surely that constitutes some kind of prosecutable 'cruelty to animals' ? Psst, is that possibly his 'black dog' ?

    Pentecostal preaching: "We believe in the premillenial, imminent and personal return of our Lord Jesus Christ ..."

    Oh yeah, which millenium is that "premillenial" to ? And do I really have to remind them that their Lord Jesus Christ has never actually left them because being God (one of the three parts thereof anyway) he is not only imminent but also immanent. Will they ever get that ?

    Giles re that pretentious old blusterer, Churchill: "...if the British Empire and its Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say "This was their finest hour". Who can even begin to write words like that today ...".

    Yeah, well, the idea of the "British Empire and its Commonwealth" lasting even another 50 years is a very big stretch, especially since it's all but comatose even now. But hey, as for a few good words (easier to come by than a few good men, and, of course, women aren't included) how about a little bit of Joe Ben Chifley:

    "I try to think of the Labor movement, not as putting an extra sixpence into somebody's pocket, or making somebody Prime Minister or Premier, but as a movement bringing something better to the people, better standards of living, greater happiness to the mass of the people. We have a great objective - the light on the hill - which we aim to reach by working the betterment of mankind not only here but anywhere we may give a helping hand."

    Yep, that'll do me any day. And, unlike many pointless old cloud-botherers, Chifley didn't have a book to push.

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  2. Will someone rid me of these tiresome old pastors emerging from the woodwork grabbing their 5 minutes of fame, courtesy of The Murdochians?

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    1. "Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?"

      Sadly, that no longer has quite the effect it once did when it was supported by the divine right of kings.

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  3. I would assume from Giles' chosen image with that hammer that he sees himself as a bit of an iconoclast, however, all we seem to get is a tedious repetition of the same themes. An old man moaning about a lost, largely imaginary world.

    I've never followed The Spectator apart from the pond's postings. Was it an edgy publication that just got old and stodgy like it's contributors or was it always a right-wing circle wank?

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