Monday, July 30, 2018

In which the pond shares quality time with a Major parrot ...

 

Shorten crashes back to earth? Commanding lead? 

For a nanosecond the pond thought the Bensonite was announcing a shock 50/50 or perhaps even 51/49 swing to Malware … but then the pond came crashing back to earth with the realisation it was just the playful reptiles playing their usual tricks …



The good old popularity routine, a favourite reptile retreat in difficult times, though the pond recollects that nobody much liked Malcolm Fraser, especially after the way he behaved in the coup, and yet he still got voted in ...

The sad truth was tucked away in the Bensonite heiling of the glorious dominance of Malware, with not a mutter  about the reason Malware offered for taking out the onion muncher after 30 losing efforts …

The poll of 1704 voters nationally conducted across city and country areas between Thursday and yesterday is the 37th consecutive Newspoll in which the ­Coalition has trailed Labor on a two-party-preferred vote.

37! Can he try for 40?

The world of social media would reveal the heartbreaking truth the reptiles were desperately trying to avoid …

  


Everybody loves the reptiles when they play these games … and the normally inert reptile twitter account saw delighted punters celebrate the reptile art of polling ...


And it didn't take long for assorted explanations to be trotted out ...


 

Yes, it wasn't long before the need for "real people" gave way to favourite reptile conspiracy theories …

By golly, after seeing all this spin, the pond was primed for some major spin by the climate scientist Major, reliably lurking in the reptile ranks for a Monday treat …



Of course the Major has struggled with climate science truths - he's a consummate group thinker - but on the days when he's not questing for that still missing Order of Lenin medal, he's always on hand to explain the folly of climate scientists who waste their time out in the field, or scribbling peer-reviewed studies ...



Reptile lovers gasped with awe at the scientific precision of "climate change hysteria" … though the rest of the routine did make the pond wonder what would happen when the reptiles no longer had Fairfax to kick around ...



There is, of course, no point debating climate science with the Major, who flaps his hands wildly on the matter whenever it pops up, and who routinely kneels abjectly in his climate science temple to his great god, dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi …

Meanwhile, on another planet …


Those alternative realities are easily googled, but why waste time with reality when there's reptile delusions on parade?

The real pleasure is picking which is the most piquant form of the Major's worship. Is it quoting eminent climate scientist Terry McCrann, or is it regurgitating the Lomborg kool aid that infests the water coolers at the inner suburban Surry Hills 'leet lizard Oz, only a stone's throw away from the world's most preeminent baristas …or is it that poignant neo-Marxist aside deploring the way that journalists side with the wealthy and merchant bankers …?


Sorry, the pond deeply apologises to the Major. 

It has no idea how that complete tool, Malware, that former merchant banker, somehow returned to create mayhem for the Major's conspiracy theory, up there with his hunt for the Order of Lenin medal …

Go Lomborg go … we must invest in new green technologies, excluding of course any current green technologies ...



The pond frequently compares the Major to a parrot … but after seeing the Major parrot Lomborg in such fine style, who could object?



By golly, the comparison is exact, except for the way that intelligence seems to lurk in the eyes of that galah ...

And so to the Rowe for today, with more Rowe here, and luckily it returns the pond to where it started, with windmills, coal stacks, a cheeky rooster and a lurking onion muncher ...



6 comments:

  1. Maj. Mitch: "Well, power-intensive industries have been sent offshore ..."

    "Sent" ? But which industries are these carbon consuming criminals ? The reptiles, and especially Maj. Mitch, never actually tell us. And what about Sanjeev Gupta keeping ex-Arrium's steelworks in Whyalla (which is in Australia, Mitch) and powering it with renewables because that's cheaper than powering it with coal.

    "[The ACCC] backed contributing economics editor Judith Sloan on the "gold plating of electricity networks" by state governments."

    Oh wau, without Dame Sloan we'd just never have known that - nobody else said it before Dame Sloan. But hey, Maj Mitch., did Sloany actually mention that it was the "gold plating" that contributed the major part of electricity price rises, not 'feed-in tariffs' or renewables subsidies ?

    Maj Mitch: "India ... is building 132 new coal-fired power stations according to research by the Australian parliamentary library."

    Oh here we go again, the umpteenth repetition of an immortal reptile lie. The Aust. Parliamentary Library has walked back that piece of appalling miss-research some time ago and India, at last count, is actually only building 19 new coal plants and extending (ie new or resized units) 26 others. For the whole story - from way back in October 2107 - the following is a long, but very informative read: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/oct/16/world-going-slow-coal-misinformation-distorting-facts

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    Replies
    1. I think it might be worth publishing some reference material if the reptiles keep recycling lies. Perhaps "the big book of falsehoods".

      Since that "oh so convenient" mistake, I have been keeping an eye on the Indian story and quite a lot of planned projects have fallen off the conveyor belt. The reason is simple - the cost.

      https://www.forbes.com/sites/energyinnovation/2018/01/30/india-coal-power-is-about-to-crash-65-of-existing-coal-costs-more-than-new-wind-and-solar/#2b7d83904c0f

      We might also need a reptile dictionary. I thought I understood the meaning of some of those terms used but they make no sense at all in the major's squawk. Taken in context "group think" seems to mean "informed consensus", "rational" seems to mean "expressing their sponsor's opinion", "hysteria" means "reasoned concern" and "left wing journalist" means "person not employed by Murdoch".

      As for dismissing Hewson and Simon Holmes a Court and quoting Terry McCrann - te he he he

      Delete
    2. "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less."

      "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

      "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master—that's all."

      Delete
  2. If you didn't see the interview with Georgina Downer

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-30/the-drum-monday-july-30/10053468

    The herpetarium should erupt after this one. Challenging the hereditary nobility AND bringing the IPA into disrepute. What will be next - revealing who funds the Sydney Institute?

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    Replies
    1. GD: "I've never met Gina Rinehart."

      Wau, what a shocking admission from an 'on the make' wannabee polly - she must have been a very, very small IPA fish. No wonder she couldn't even get close to winning Mayo without Gina's $millions to count on.

      Delete
  3. The Major flaps his wings, DP.

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