Friday, July 06, 2018

In which the pond presents a veritable Bhagavad Gita of scientific comedy … or it's a monkey's aunt ...

The pond is about to embark on an epic of scientific comedy … and makes absolutely no apology for it.

Many will wilt and fall by the wayside. So be it. The comedy of science - indeed the comedy of civilisation - is built on the corpses of the weak …

The pond's editorial hand will be light. What's the point of annotating every pratfall? The sheer joy of the slapstick should suffice …

And now, it's on with the laughs … and first up, there's an import to hand who clearly understands nothing about the lizard Oz culture down under …


Well yes, it is exceptionally rich, and that's all part of the rich circus … but please, do go on, do set the scene ...


Indeed, indeed, it is easy to laugh, and the pond does it all the time, but will Aaronovitch go to climate science denialism?


Dear sweet long absent lord, could there be a sillier monkey than this scribbler? 

Please come on down Moorice and show the lad how it's done down under at the lizard Oz …


Was it only yesterday the pond ran this cartoon yet again?


Have at it Don Moorice ...


Now as the pond promised there will be no editorialising, just a discreet break every so often, to remind readers not to feed the monkeys ...


And if anyone failed to get at least a rich chuckle from Moorice doing Randism, the pond urges them to drop into a service station to get their sensa huma checked …

But wait, the pond promised an epic, and we've only just begun …come on down Lloydie, channeling the onion muncher …


Now this will test the hardiest travellers and reptile lovers, but please, rest assured, as well as glaciers, there are graphs, or maps pretending to be graphs, or whatever … scientific data!!



Poland, a European coal centre, does not bode well?

Surely the sly whimsical rascal meant to say, a European coal centre bodes well for the recognition of dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi ...


A splendid set of observations, and so onwards, with science by polling a wonder to behold, and the onion muncher well worth quoting… because if Don Moorice is out and about, should Sancho be left behind?


A lunatic on the issue? Oh steady on, the lizards of Oz and Moorice love him, and Lloydie can hear the siren song too ...


Say what? It's the bloody wogs what dun it? Build the wall, build it now …or nuke them, and if not them, why nuke the fridge ...


What a slog, but if anyone thought Lloydie was done and dusted, there he was out and about today at the top of the digital opinion page ...


Oh they were dropping like flies now, but the pond is made of sterner stuff. Play on McLloydie ...


What? No onion muncher? Where's Moorice when he's desperately needed?


And so, for the last reader standing, the pond must flash back to yesterday and the potent question … no, it's not WWJD, it's WWtheIPAdo … and who better to answer that question than our man Jimbo ...



By golly, Jimbo better be on the side of the agrarian socialists' five year plan, and support government owned coal-fired power stations, or there'll be hell to pay …

Is he a decent forward-thinking Stalinist, or is he a foolish dissembling fop?


Outrageous … surely our Jimbo should be right behind the onion muncher … where's the chant, 'dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi …'?


Did the pond just hear the cock crow? Did our Jimbo just say he wanted the government to solve the issue and move on? Has he read nothing of Lloydie, does he not understand the onion muncher is not for turning, oh shouldn't he join Moorice in charging at windmills?


It'd be five or six years before it generated an additional watt of power?

Oh wash out your mouth, you heretic … solar and wind? 

Keep talking like that, and Moorice will turn into a gibbering monkey …

And so to the long-delayed treat. You see, in all the fuss and comedy about climate science, the reptiles have dropped the plot and missed the chance for a major crusade.

Remember all the fuss about light bulbs and the likes of little Timmie Bleagh in an incandescent rage? 

And yet the reptiles have had little to say about plastic bags, and it's been left to the Pope to offer a joke, with more jocular papal matters here ...



6 comments:

  1. Strewth, DP. What was it that mattoxic said: "I doubt anyone but a few rusted on weirdos and ponds readers (different rusted on weirdos) actually go deeper than the first par."

    Talk about "rusted on" all right. Though brain strain, eye glaze and general bodily paralysis had cut in well before the last par and I suppose that does make us all (well, me anyway) a genuine wierdo. But then I'm allowed to be at my age - sufficent that I, and many others, could well shuffle before any of those watts of new coal fired power could arrive, and that's even if they started building them tomorrow.

    Hope I don't catch measles before I go though.

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  2. What is the reasoning behind Murdoch empire continued aggressive politicisation of global warming?
    I will not be here to see the outcome of global warming and neither will that old philandering walrus Rupert.
    Murdoch should be required to produce alternative scientific evidence that global warming is not happening.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But he does, Bef, he does - or at least his brigade of garrulous gophers do. There's Moorice and Lloydie and Tony and Groany and, best of all, the Billious Bolter all producing copious scientific evidence to totally and indisputably prove that there's just no such thing as Anthropogenic Climate Change. And there most certainly isn't any such thing as Global warming.

      And best of all, they do it time and time and time again. And get paid for doing it. Aah, the absolute joy of free market capitalism, eh ?

      Delete
    2. Murdoch seems a good fit for the "high functioning psychopath". The term is a bit of a grab bag of personality disorders but it describes a person who can charm or persuade when they need to but basically has no empathy at all and is utterly ruthless in pursing their self-interest. I have seen it suggested that about 1% of the general population are psychopaths but about 4% of business leaders.

      Murdoch doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything that does not benefit him personally. He wouldn't understand altruism or social responsibility. He would view these as weaknesses to be exploited.

      His readership can be used to influence the people the people that matter - the politicians. Needless to say, the poorly educated or ill-informed are the easiest to manipulate. They tend to lash out at things they don't understand and they don't understand much at all.

      If you have been doing even a small amount of reading about climate change you would have seen Moorice's talking points rebutted again and again - but you are not part of Rupert's target group, there's lower hanging fruit to be plucked.

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    3. Hmm. Never really sure I can distinguish between a psychopath and a sociopath myself. Not too sure most psychiatrists can either.

      But: "Murdoch doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything that does not benefit him personally."

      I think the same could be honestly said regarding just about his entire claque of reptiles - and the entire staff of America's Fox News as well.

      Delete
  3. DP is right about Lloydie. He really is a reprehensible piece of shit.

    That fact he lets his byline include the title Environmental Editor is a disgrace. The title is only provided to give his climate denialism and inaction some gravitas.

    All he ever does is undermine the argument against climate change solutions. Honestly, what other environmental issues has he ever written about? Murray River or any other waterways? National park health? Nothing.

    What a turd.

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