Saturday, July 21, 2018

A reptile double bunger with "Ned" and the bromancer ...

The pond knew it was going to be hard …

Sneaking down to gaze at the herpetarium only once a day? Such a loss, such an absence.

It reminded the pond of the days when it attempted to diet. A good day cutting back would be immediately followed by a binge feast, rampant indulgence, a frenzy of ice-cream …

The pond knew the weekend was going to be the hardest … how to pick a favourite reptile, how to choose which sorbet out of a vast array of treats …


And there was more down the page in the opinion section, but seniority had to be respected. 

Nattering "Ned" moaning about an existential crisis - compounding the rich comedy - was like a serve of Neapolitan ice-cream …harlequins on the three-flavoured move …



Oh dear, they're trolling "Ned" …and perhaps that's why "Ned" no longer looks in the mirror, but instead gathers fluff from the navel …



It's as if chairman Rupert can't be mentioned or honoured for the works and deeds performed by his minions …

In much the same way, if we're talking about mismanagement of globalisation, can honourable mentions be made of the British, French, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese empires for a couple of centuries?

Never mind, the pond is on an ice-cream junket, and will have it all ...


At this point, the pond has to interrupt, to explain why it decided it must also have the junketing bromancer sit at the table for the feast.

Some wretched men love a cat fight, but the pond's favourite sport is to throw a couple of reptiles into the ring and let them go at it …

This requires remembering what "Ned's" just written, so that it might, in due course, be compared to the bromancer's furiously shameless scribbling ...


Oh please miss, pick the pond, pick the pond. The pond can make sense of what's going on, and even offer one of the worst symptoms of the disease …

The Murdochians! They're the ones that cheered on Breixt and the Donald … and no amount of hand-wringing from "Ned" can hide the record, though in these post-Orwellian times many try to do so …

The pond was thinking the other day how deeply, truly conservative it had become.

The pond accepts the benefits (along with the limitations) of free trade, worries about the bizarre notion that governments can run by credit card in the style of the Donald, thinks there are sensible benefits to immigration (not least the people who collect the pond's garbage because damned if Anglos dedicated to western civilisation will do it), and now thinks George Will quite sensible, never mind the days the pond mocked him for his attitude to jeans …

Now the seemingly aphasic "Ned" seems to be making a pitch to true conservatives ...


Um, how about "the damage Rupert Murdoch and Fox News has done and is doing to domestic US politics is deep and most likely terminal… and Australia cannot escape what the baleful Murdochians have helped wrought …or wreaked ... or whatever ..."

Still there's only one slice of the vanilla ice-cream to go ...


Well the pond has done its bit of boldness by trying to cut back on the reptile diet but golly it's hard to give up on the cartoons ...



And of course the moment Bell here makes reference to Gillray, the pond must head off here ...


And so to the junketing bromancer, showing the true face of the Murdochians ...


Note well the demonisation of Europe, the excuses laid out for the Donald, and all the rest of the usual bromancer nonsense.

That's the trouble with overloading on ice-cream … bulimia sets in and the urge to vomit grows strong, and the pond must race off for a cartoon ...


Dammit, and Rowson would have to reference another master ...



Yes, between the perfidious French and Donald Trump, the choice it seems, is between paying off a Playboy bunny and actual art …

And there's another aspect of the pond's conservatism laid bare. It still much prefers the Europeans to the Donald and Vlad the impaler … though these days it seems for many reptiles the reverse is true ...

Anyone who could dismiss the Donald as a disaster zone is surely a fuckwit of the first water, and no doubt is also a lover of demagogue serial liar populist Boris ...


Around this time in the engorgement, the pond realised it was just eating for the sake of eating. It was a mental as well as a physical disorder, and all that could be done was plunge on until the last lick was finger-caressed from the tub … though if there's a mention of "elite", the pond will be likely to open its ice-cream saturated lips to the sky and scream ...


And there are two levels of delusion: (a) that Australia might possibly be an effective replacement for Europe in the life of Britain and (b) that Australia has that much to gain from displacing Europe, while the Donald's burgeoning trade war threatens to demolish the world trade order …

And so to the last gobbet and the real scandal ...


A journalist is a participant in the Australia UK Leadership Forum?

Put it another way, a member of the media 'leet headed off to Britain as part of the nob 'leets, and then had the gigantic cheek, the enormous fucking gall to scribble about 'leets?

A forum of the 'leets that Ciobo described here this way …

The Turnbull Government welcomes the Brexit White Paper that confirms a free trade agreement with Australia remains a priority for the UK. Australia has been preparing for negotiations through the Trade Working Group established in September 2016. 
In London I will attend the inaugural Australia-UK Leadership Forum, which will bring together leaders from government, business, academia and the arts, to deepen the relationship between our countries. The Forum aims to enable greater cooperation and sharing of ideas to address economic challenges, with a particular focus on trade, investment and productivity.

Yes, the bromancer went on a junket to attend a forum with a political purpose and then wrote that column, and all that was in it, and got around to mentioning the forum in the last line ...

Shameless …

Actually beyond the valley of the deeply shameless 'leets.

What to do?

The pond thought of throwing away all the ice-cream and never mind the expense, but decided that it should just gorge on cartoons, with more Rowe for the gorging here




3 comments:

  1. Neddles: "...the two great democracies -- Britain and the US -- are sunk in existential trauma"

    Hmmm, is that "existential trauma" or is that "ontological trauma" ? The existential kind is just about a self-perceived loss of meaningfulness, after all; something that befalls people thick-headed enough to have denied reality from the start. But "ontological trauma" ? Ah that's about seeing reality crumble before one's very eyes.

    From wikipedia: Ontological crisis is a term coined to describe the crisis an agent, human or not, goes through when its model - its ontology - of reality changes. In the human context, a clear example of an ontological crisis is a believer's loss of faith in God.

    So Neddles obviously thinks his delusions are still "meaningful", but that maybe he is illusional.

    "...can honourable mentions be made of the British, French, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese empires for a couple of centuries?"

    Oh dear, DP, do you really want to drag the whole roll-call of 'gunpowder empires' into the discussion ?

    Neddles: "...guarantee no pain for the punters as Britain marches out. This promised outcome by the Brexit campaign was always a fraud."

    Real reality instead of fake reality anybody ? And why would or should any 'referendum vote' clearly won by rampant fraud be considered valid in any way ?

    Neddles: "The truth is Australia is a stand-alone nation."

    Wau, Neddy's ontology really is crumbling away. But then, a nation entirely girt by sea always was basically "stand alone" wasn't it.

    He does kinda have a point this time, though. Once upon a long time ago we had families, then tribes and villages, then towns, then cities, then city-states, then nation states and finally empires. But maybe it's slowly coming to the time when what we really need is a planetary state: one for all and all for one encompassing the whole world and the entire human race.

    Oh well, I can dream my illusions too, can't I ?

    Oh, but now we come to the other one:

    Bromancer: "The US economy is booming" and "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is by far the most powerful and successful nation in Europe."

    Hasn't the galloping git ever heard of Germany ? But that truly is ontological crisis, isn't it.

    More Bro: "...the rules-based international order is breaking. This is not solely, or even primarily, Trump's fault."

    True. He has had, and is still getting, enormous help and support from a whole pantheon of reptiles and their masters of which the Bromancer's master is basically just 'first among many'. Talk about ontological crisis !

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  2. Right on the money GB.....I share your dream/illusion. Anything is better than this current goose-stepping waltz with the reptiles.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nFP1kmGiGo

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Colbert is a fine performer indeed, but I didn't realise just how flexibly talented he is until I saw this: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xhxsg1 (which is 7 years old, apparently).

      I confess to some ambiguity about treatment of Trump in the Colbert way though, I think it somehow adds to the 'normalisation effect' of someone who isn't normal; he's a nasty, meanminded, aggressive, grifting and crooked thug who doesn't care who or what he injures or destroys.

      And in a way that the cartoons that DP so diligently finds and feeds us doesn't since many of them just emphasize his outright abnormality. Kinda feeding our rage rather than ameliorating it.

      Delete

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