Saturday, June 30, 2018

In which an old dodderer shouts at passing ABC clouds ...


Hmm, that name sounded familiar to the pond, but not being a specialist in Quadrant dinosaurs - an exceptionally difficult and tedious study for even the most diligent herpetologist - the pond had to resort to a google to refresh the fading memory banks … and what do you know ...


That immediately put the pond in a mood for what it had been assured was expert dumbfuckery from a thoroughly nasty, embittered old turd … and any passing reader who'd read that embedded quote about gays not being natural or normal, would have to admit this was surely not just a mammoth ignorant dumbfuck, but a thoroughly nasty turd ...


Hmm, that was tough going, plodding and ever so predictable. Perhaps a little additional stimulation could help the pond get through ...


A dill and a plodding dickhead, and black comedy at best?

Restored and revitalised, the pond plodded on ...


Dear sweet long absent lord, what a peculiar old fart… and just as the pond often needs a cup of tea to make it through the day, the pond knew it had to keep heading back to the twitter well to summon up the strength to carry on ...



The P76? 

Oh that's surely an impossible, deranged slur. You'd have to be a right royal fuckwit of the first water to confess anywhere at any time that you actually purchased a P76 …


Here"I bought a P76", and at last the pond has found a likely target for its second-hand, reconditioned harbour bridge, a little beauty, still with plenty of miles in it …

And not only did he buy one, he really did write his MBA thesis about the car he bought …as anyone caring to read his thoughts for the lizard Oz can confirm by reading them reprinted in a pdf of the P76 Owners Club of Victoria magazine

Sheesh, talk about more clueless than a movie called Clueless.

Who knew the alarming things you could discover on twitter … almost as frightening as what you can read in the lizard Oz ...


Indeed, indeed, and it is true that the ABC keeps playing nineteenth century music during the pond's walk as a lunchtime break, and while one day they tried to placate the pond with a dash of Bartok, another day the pond found itself switching over to 102.5 to listen to talk of Samuel Adams composing for iPhone.

Oh yes, it must be hard to placate all the old fogeys out in the streets shouting at passing ABC clouds, but of course, Luck has the same solution to hand that the pond employed … bugger off and watch the ratfuck shitfest known as commercial television…upon which, if the twitterati are to be believed, the immortal Luck made an immortal mark ...

But they never want to do that, do they, these whiners and moaners and groaners and precious snowflakes, they always want to re-shape the ABC in their boring old fart image, and then the pond has to put up with useless bits of doddery music from the nineteenth century …

Hmm, the pond needs to do a little twitter vaping before it can continue ...


Luckily, the last gobbet is a short one ...


And with that, hopefully the pond will never have to mention the P76 or Brahms at lunchtime again …

And so to a celebratory cartoon …



5 comments:

  1. "You'd have to be a right royal fuckwit of the first water to confess anywhere at any time that you actually purchased a P76 …"

    Yes well, DP, maybe if you actually purchased one (though I once had a mate back in Fidonet BBS days (when I was a BBS addict) who unhappily purchased one) but nonetheless the P76 was a well conceptualised car that was appallingly built (kinda like Musk's Tesla Model 3). I gotta basically agree with Luck here - but only here, otherwise I'm with Mike C.

    The Pommie-granates specialise in that kinda thing: something very well designed but appallingly implemented that kills a whole industry (just think Comet jetliners and ship sized portholes).

    Lucky: "With a stroke of the pen, the government could stop the rot."

    And sure, with the wink of an eye, "God" could create a just and fair universe. Oh, I don't think that Mike C has grasped the half of this numbskull.

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  2. "The community's simmering disquiet with the ABC"

    Well spotted old chap. The satisfaction rates with the ABC across surveys do occasionally plummet to low 80s from their standard mid-80s position.

    or three times that of the Liberal government - whichever the number is greater.

    (p.s, Mike Carlton really has never forgotten this old chap's position on the ladder of achievement has he? Could the Gold Kenny brand be occasionally altered to the Platinum Luck award?)

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  3. "45 years ago, I was chided by Duckmanton"

    Good god, is this an out-take from Dance to the Music of Time? I was sure Widmerpool was imminent somewhere in this un-ending toil.

    Actually yes, it's Widmerpool who is parachuted in to run the Oversight Board who will oversee the existing Oversight board.

    Jolly japes Luck my lad!

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    Replies
    1. Duckmanton? That johnny-come-lately modernist? Why, surely a true defender of the ABC standards would take their inspiration from the days of Sir Charles Moses! For a start, all announcers to wear evening dress and to speak in Received Pronunciation accents. And no sideburns past the base of the ear!

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    2. The pond fondly remembers the cardigan wearers gathered for morning tea and bikkies in the basement federal music library, wherein could be found an OTR announcer widely rumoured to have been Sir Charles' mistress …who knows if it was true, but perhaps a return to evening dress could help restore proper period sauciness ...

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