In which the crusade for western civilisation enters round three with a contribution from a Craven one ...

On this day of "the toad the" and the announcement that Australia now officially has a gang of four - how much can deviant Chinese influence corrupt the political process? - it seems odd that the reptiles ran with their deep sense of loss and concern about Western Civilisation at the top of the digital page …

But let's face it, the pond has now established its ongoing awareness of the issues of the day, and can immediately forget them, because it's right and proper for the reptiles to focus on the ongoing crisis in Western Civilisation … and naturally the pond has to tend to their deepest innermost fears.

The onion muncher was at the top of the heap at first, before the Craven swooped in, and what a tale of sorrow and woe it was to the crusaders …

As students of history will recall, it seems it's a bit like the epic stuff-up known as the Fourth Crusade, which Greg Hunters can relish here… 

The Crusade is considered to be one of the most prominent acts that solidified the schism between the Greek and Latin Christian churches, and dealt an irrevocable blow to the already weakened Byzantine Empire, paving the way for Muslim conquests in Anatolia and Balkan Europe in the coming centuries.

Yes, that sounds very much like the onion muncher at work …

Oh that's unkind Canis Lupus, even a little cruel, but possibly quite fair ...

Indeed, indeed, but is it a match for the routine extraordinary stupidity of the onion muncher? 

Munching on an Aldi Iranian date, the pond marvelled at the way the onion muncher might be mistaken for Toad of Toad Hall, boasting about his cleverness to his mates before the deal was done.

It left the crusading reptiles with nowhere much to go except to slang off at the academics for taking cash from other people ...

But reptile abuse of the ANU, and the onion muncher's enormous stupidity and capacity to muck up anything put aside, there came an even more extraordinary example of pious cheek this day in the lizard Oz ...

Now anyone who has followed the crusade in the pond will realise that the pond has already suggested that the ACU would be the perfect home for the crusaders, with the Craven one both vice-chancellor and President of the University and to boot, a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of St Gregory the Great …

Surely the moment was right for him to announce that he had heeded the pond and that his university would step up to the plate and save the day for reptiles, crusaders, the onion muncher and twits of the simple Simon kind ...

Say what?

The pond hesitates to call the Craven craven … so truly, monumentally gutless it must be.

But stay, the story was not yet over. 

There was still time for the gutlessly craven Craven to announce that the ACU would save Western Civilisation, would teach them all a lesson in cricket and crusading … 

The pond held its baited breath - try eating a Defender pellet and you won't object to that usage - and waited for the Craven announcement in the following pars ...

"Of course we'd look at a program like Ramsay …"

Hmm, did someone just bowl underarm?

What a cowardly custard. 

Or do the wretches at Ramsay think the Catholics are beneath them? There are crusaders and then there are companions who aren't quite right, even for the onion muncher?

How simple it would have been to announce that the ACU had entered into negotiations with the Ramsay Centre, being in favour of crusades and Western Civilisation and not giving a fig about academic independence, having already hitched that wagon to the Catholic church …

It would have saved the reptiles having to report on poor old simplistic Simon wittering away ...

One of them would seize the opportunity?

Please look over there. The ACU is waiting for the call, please talk to the craven Craven …

The pond could ram home the deal in a day, so what's keeping these crusaders as they wilt and worry about unions and students and blather about academic freedom, when the onion muncher has already announced the fix is in, and the course will be definition be in favour of western civilisation, presumably including world wars, sundry exterminations and holocausts and all the rest of it ...

The pond sincerely hopes that this crusade quickly comes to an end, the pond can only stand so much reptile crusading, enormous onion-muncher stupidity and gutless wonder Cravens on parade …

And what to say about a simplistic Simon whose best argument seems to be that the very notion of Western Civilisation is utterly and completely tedious, and therefore worthy of academic study.

What a complete doofus … and so the pond tosses the cricket ball to the craven Craven, and heads off into the bush for a bit of nature study with the Pope, heading across the Great Divide by frog, with more papal rides available here …