Sunday, March 11, 2018

In which the pond finally succumbs to prattling Polonius and joins him for a whirl on the pokies ...


The pond dropped in on the Sunday Terror, as is its wont, to make sure that the paywall is holding and the Devine continues to be contained, only to have this poignant note pop up ...

 

The pond sighed. There's no need for a reward, you silly reptiles, the pond is happy to give its feedback for free.

Let's cut to the chase. Everything is ship-shape, there's nothing to improve.

Once upon a time, the pond might have suggested keeping the Devine behind a strict paywall, but you're doing it already. Ditto the Bolter.

 Keep the focus on the Devine, make her your flagship, and put little Timmie Bleah to her right, bring in the Bolter every so often, keep them all behind a strict paywall, and all will be well …

Never let the paywall drop, never let them join in the general conversation on the intertubes - it'll only cause hissing and booing and cat-calling - and please, whenever there's a column about a woman, remember to include a few cats in the illustration...


A lolling cat is a guaranteed way to be on top of any intertubes conversation.

The pond might have suggested that you boast about sharing the most amazing news, like an infomercial hustler of the most shameless kind, but what do you know, you've already been there and done that ...


Still struggling to make a crust? The business model not what it once was? The pond can't understand it, but it remains certain that keeping the Devine behind a strict paywall is the way forward.

And after all that feelgood reinforcement of a Devine kind, the pond reluctantly turned to prattling Polonius, which it had held over, just because the pompous dullard is such wearing company …

But it was time to break the emergency glass and who knows there might be life in Polonius and the pond might get to pull off a pokie or two with the portentous prattler ... … because Polonius had stopped being obsessed with the ABC and the unfair treatment of the Catholic church, and had sworn not to mention 'sectarian' once, and had swanned off to Tassie, and gone into Alan Jones coaching mode … and thanks to a reader, the pond knows what a hard-rucking coach the parrot makes … here



Thanks parrot, but Polonius now has the floor, or if you will is rucking and mauling the scrimmage, and the pond could sense a jackpot in the offing ...



Yes, gone are the days when anyone dared to suggest that state issues stayed in the parochial state. These days, with the 30th looming large, it's time for Polonius to get out the whiteboard and give Malware some strategic lessons ...


Ah, those pesky, difficult, dangerous elites …

In the pond's day, the elites were the ones with the cash in the paw, shadowy figures that might drop a large amount on television advertising, and when challenged about the amount, with $5 million rumoured as the spend, announced it wasn't so, and then, to aid clarity and conversation, refused to name what it actually was … or so the cardigan wearers at the ABC reported a few days ago here

But that's the way it goes these days …

There's Polonius in his CBD cocoon deploring the elites …


… ah, Phillip street Sydney. No 'leets here, here no 'leets … every day a struggle on struggle street, no time in the sun, no harbour views …

And yet sometimes Polonius leaves the cocoon and takes to the air and walks amongst ordinary good citizens and worries about their access to poker machines …

Sure some have cards designed to restrict their opportunities to spend cash on grog and gambling, but this is no worry for anyone with access to a credit card and a desire to roam on the apple isle ...


Indeed, indeed, there's nothing like the musical sounds of a poker machine to give vibrancy to local life for many good citizens …

Truth to tell, Mozart, Beethoven and Mahler couldn't match a poker machine for musical vibrancy …




Did the pond ever imagine it would catch Polonius spruiking the pokies?

Well never let it be said that Polonius is shameless, as he legitimately goes about the business of seeking sponsors, with the sponsors knowing that they'll never have their names dragged through the tawdry harbour-view sunlight of Phillips street shame …

Whatever else, it must be clearly understood that Phillps street is certainly not a progressive street in a progressive city. 

How deplorable that would be, how sweet of Polonius to retain a seat at the table and prevent it from being soiled by high earners, professionals, lobbyists and special interest groups and pleaders, and the like …



And there you have it, brave valiant Polonius, inner city struggler, standing up for the right of the plebs to drop a motza on the pokies … here no 'leets, no 'leets here …

And so to a few Donald cartoons, showing his willingness to move amongst ordinary people in ordinary ways …much like Polonius, if you think about it for a nanosecond …




3 comments:

  1. And not one single word from Polonius about Gun Laws and making sure the electorate hears not a single thing about weakening them. Yes indeed, no 'leets here ... and no decency or honesty either. In short, a return to the time proven LCP winning tactics.

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    Replies
    1. Having just read Gadfly's column in a certain Saturday paper, I hope he won't mind if I just quote him a little bit:

      Acland: "Taswegians can happily settle back for another four years with fresh laws for the wallopers to garrotte protesters, more poker machines, bigger and better guns, the roar of the chainsaws, the no-tender deals with old mates and all the things for which the island paradise is famous."

      Yep, that's definitely the way for Liberals win elections. Well spotted, Polonius.

      Delete
  2. I wasn't counting but the Liberal ads must have outnumbered Labor and the Greens by at least five to one. The style of ad was really down-market. If you could identify with the type of person depicted you would have needed to take a good look at yourself, but it worked (again). Very depressing.

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