Tuesday, February 13, 2018

In which the pond is forced to abandon everything to celebrate Tamworthian values ...

  

There were the reptiles late yesterday ...

And there was the pond thinking it could start the new day in the usual way ... 

You see, late yesterday, Ridders had chipped in with talk of the millennials as the new Victorians, and what made it piquant was that on the very same rotating fickle finger of digital reptile splash, there was the original Victorian, the ultra creepy Mike Pence himself ... with even news.com.au bemused at it all ...


And he's supposed to be the great white hope if the Donald gets into too much trouble?

It was going to be just another day, mocking Ridders, and perhaps presumptuously on behalf of millennials (the pond doesn't make that pay grade) telling world class climate scientist Ridders to go take a flying fuck ...

But then things began to turn. There were a few early signs ... but the reptiles blamed it all on Labor while contentedly stirring the Albo pot ...


The oscillating fan was another sign, with a dinkum Lawson joke, just like that pub in old Fitzroy ...

 

But then came the surest sign of all that there was trouble at mill, and not just your average kind of trouble ...



Foolishness? Shucks pa, we wuz just fooling around in the Tamworth way ...

Today it continued with Dame Groan giving the boofhead agrarian socialist the Clockwork Orange treatment ...


A loaded dog policy dud? 


A biffing Barners?

The floodgates had burst. How could a Tamworthian concentrate on usual business? 

The pond had repeatedly warned Tamworthians they were heading for trouble ... why that glorious rag, the NDL, the daily bleeder, had even featured on Media Watch in The Barners Affair ...

It was on, because when the reptiles turn, they go the full 360 ... and suddenly the alleged best retail politician - so the silly onion muncher had dubbed him - couldn't find shelf space in a five and dime store ... but he could certainly help struggling tree killer editions ...

 

The pond had a host of choices for this momentous day, with question time fast looming and Barners soon to become yet again our glorious acting PM ...


This was supposed to be Caterist day, but how could the pond pay attention, when a Tamworthian was in such dire straits ...

Et tu, dog botherer?

The pond returned to the dog botherer for a reading of the last rites ...



Dear sweet long absent lord, and here's the dog botherer forced to forget his ritual hatred of Malware, and cartoonists having an inordinate amount of fun ...


Well there's more Pope here, and now more of the dog botherer sobbing into his warm Tamworth beer ... and delivering a Mad as Hell zinger. Well not quite a zinger, more a zing ...


Pre-eminent social conservative?

What, one of Ridders terribly chaste new Victorians?

Strides around his ankles? Like this Rowe, with more Rowe here ...?


And so to the final gobbet of the dog botherer dreading the axe, but sensing the turkey could not be pardoned, and might have to be put down, and what a Tamworth feast would follow ...


Not easily tolerated?

Still the dog botherer couldn't deliver the final blow to the Danglemah dingbat? The Woolbrook wanderer?

And while the pond's at it, how strange there's no mention of the dog botherer's heroic role supporting Lord Downer in the Iraq war in that short reptile CV. 

Surely it should have ended with "the dog botherer takes an unashamedly rationalist approach to fucking up other nations" ..

But never mind, somehow the pond ended up back in the same turf as where it started, with Ridders and Pence and ... sweet Barners ... showing millennials how it should be done ... (and with more Matt Golding here ...)


9 comments:

  1. Doggy Botherer re Carners Barners: "Forget the issues of character, trust and morality that are none of our business ..."

    Oh yeah, right: the character, trustworthiness and morality of the Deputy PM are just nobody's business at all. But I do have to wonder how Tony Burke and Skye Laris got away with it so lightly - perhaps because she didn't get blatantly pregnant while Burke was still married to somebody else ... and he was never Deputy PM either.

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    1. As far as I know, Burke never held himself up as the very model of a family man and being against drugs that would make 'promiscuity' more attractive for his daughters. I don't know what religious beliefs Burke has but I sure as hell know that the bonking beetroot thinks that his Christian moral values make him a better person than the rest of us.

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    2. Burke did actually divorce his first wife, so presumeably he isn't Catholic - unless getting divorced is one of those religious freedoms the anti-SSM folks were fighting for, and were granted.

      Anyway, Burke and his first also separated in 2012 and he didn't marry Skye Laris until 2015, and there hasn't been any little pies in the Skye as far as I can discover. The only thing Burke really did wrong was to spend a lot of taxpayer money getting Skye to accompany him on verious overseas 'tours of duty'.

      But none of that would count with a reptile - they'd go for him anyway (and they did just a bit back in 2014/5 already). But nobody seems to have quite taken up Julie Bishop's "glass houses" taunt yet. Maybe they're all hoping it will all just go away.

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  2. Blocking Adani is "loony Left"?

    It is unashamedly rational to support the thing even though no major financial institution will touch it?

    So fucking weird...

    What year is this? Who's the PM? No, I have not awoken from a coma.

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    1. Always better to stay in the coma, and while comfortably numb, remember to chant 'dinkum Ozzie coal, oi, oi, oi' ...

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    2. People who follow the market have always had doubts about the Carmichael project. The project didn't look viable even on the company's own figures & assumptions about prices. You also had Guatam Adani as a counterparty (like bushwalking with Ivan Milat). Those on the right just used it as a pretext for a tribal war & the labour party were too craven to stand up to them.

      With regard to that other great hobby-horse of the reptiles, Australia day, someone just pointed out that the 26th is also the anniversary of the Rum Rebellion (1808). What better example of the majesty of our institutions than a genuine military coup - makes the heart swell with pride!


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  3. Interesting juxtaposition - Joyce and Pence. Which one is more repellent?
    If Pence is as sanctimonious as he seems you would wonder how he could stomach Trump.

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    1. Yair, but calling your wife 'Mother' is just a British Working Class tradition, and of course Pence is totally loyal the British Working Class traditions as brought to America by Puritan pilgrims. We all remember 'Room At The Top' and Mr and Mrs Brown, don't we ?

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  4. Ridders has it arse-about regarding Victorian values. The disconnect between Barndoor's professed values and actual behaviour would seem to me to be very Victorian in nature. A well connected individual accommodating his mistress out of the public view and at the public expense couldn't be more traditional (perhaps above an umbrella shop in Knightsbridge). The millennials, on the other hand, are not being censorious at all, they are simply tagging a hypocrite for future reference. This seems like a very healthy sign.

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