Tuesday, January 23, 2018

In which the pond toot toots with Dame Groan ...


Anytime the pond wonders if we're still in the silly season, it only has to revert to the tree-killer edition, and its hysteria for the day, and the reptiles' cunningly worded splashes, using devices such as "is believed to ..."

Indeed, indeed, and Santa Claus is believed to play a role in Xmas, and you might believe anything you read in the headlines ...


Those damned Kiwis, ruining everything ... yet again ...and not just the English language with their talk of fush and chups and sux, and the bizarre expectation that a pregnant woman might lead the country while ruining Australia ...

No wonder the reptiles were outraged and alarmed, but truth to tell, the pond had thought of turning to Dame Groan, briefly at the top of the opinionistas with her valuable insights on another matter ...


Indeed, this is a seminal matter of deep concern for the reptiles ...


Ah, so that's where the taxpayers' dollars go, to do valuable work ... though the pond did for a moment wonder how we might balance the books, if there's no tax, and yet there's some outgoings from the exchequer ...




Happily it wasn't the only subsidy of deep concern to the reptiles ...


Damned engineering profs, what would they know and besides, look who'd snuck in at the top of the digital page to address the matter ...


It was a twofer day ... twofer Dame Groan, and twofer reptile outrage, at damned Kiwis and wretched electric cars with their fancy airs and silent surging subsidised ways ...


Yes, if ever there was a country less suited to electric vehicles. 

Frankly Russia, Siberia, the United States, Death Valley, China and the silk road past the Taklamakan desert have got nothing on this gloriously exceptional country ...


The pond was disturbed, not by the knocking about those who find electric cars wonderfully quiet (they are), but by something much more bizarre ... "I always get a good chuckle".

The idea, the thought of Dame Groan chuckling was profoundly disturbing. Did she do it like a crazed cartoon Brain wanting to rule the world?

Would she chuckle like a junior Woodchuck at a First Dog cartoon, who has returned here?



Okay, the pond isn't taking Dame Groan seriously, but in the pond's defence, it's still the silly season, and there might well be sillier sights than Craig Kelly wringing his hands and moaning about carbon emissions ...


Yep, there it is, Dame Groan worrying about carbon emissions, and the way that electric cars will produce peanuts and paltry figures ... and then there are other environmental concerns ...

Damn you greenies and Norwegians, why on earth did the Donald give you pickled sardine eaters a favourable mention?

Sure things might be melting in your neck of the woods, but don't you understand there's no point in worrying about emissions, nothing can be done, nothing should be done, and what we need is more petrol and more coal, oi, oi, oi, because there's nothing Dame Groan loves more than putting the pedal to the metal in her vintage gas-guzzling 8 cylinder Monaro, with bonus useful tacho ...

Or perhaps she prefers to do a Toad, toot toot ...poop-poop ...


Sure, Liberal governments pissed squillions against the wall supporting gas guzzlers, but oh what fun they were when Dame Groan got a dose of white line fever and headed out on to the two lane blacktop, accompanied by a goodly dose of the Boss singing how she was born to run, to hoon, or perhaps even to chuckle ...


Well there's only one ritual left in the Dame Sloan piece.

It's been a short and silly ride, the sort of bottoming out sometimes to be experienced on roads around Tamworth, but Dame Groan has one last master stroke left within her ... a final gazumping, the ultimate argument, from which there is no retreat, as effective as the Donald pressing his nuke button ...


Virtue-signalling!!

The ultimate reptile put down, the ultimate reptile argument, and Dame Groan manages to make it her very last word on the subject!

What a champion she is, how fine it would have been to see her in her glory days at Bathurst, chuckling fiendishly as she roared around the track ...having spent years training up in the Redex trials ...

And so we head back yet again to the 1950s and the picket fence, and the joys of doing it the way it's always been done, because who could possibly imagine there was any point to PV panels on the roof, including but not limited to lower power bills and a reduction in the reliance on coal?

Surely the best way forward is to stimulate resentment and rage at scammers and swindlers and mountebanks and snake oil sales people, all in the cause of selling tree killer newspapers, as they've done since good old Queen Vic days.

And now speaking of snake oil hustlers, the cartoonists are still celebrating ...






7 comments:

  1. A future Dame Sloan headline (she hopes) -

    EV car subsidies cripple Norwegian economy – mass exodus of refugees to US!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be followed by:
      "Incoming hordes of Norwegians drive massive exodus from s***hole America to Australian sanctuary (PS: gum leaves are both delicious and musical).

      Delete
  2. Ah Dame Groan, the epitome of the reptilia Murdochratia clade: bitterly denouncing other people's 'virtue signalling' while rampantly projecting her own.

    Is that a hereditary trait, or is it perhaps acquired after years spent confined in the herpetarium ?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yet another subject she knows nothing about - seems to be a prerequisite for writing a Murdoch opinion piece. I couldn't help notice reference to the electricity grid "very close to shutting down on hot days, the one increasingly reliant on intermittent wind and solar power with reliable coal-fired plants forced to close". Reliable coal-fired plants? 14 coal fired plant failures this year & 27 this summer.

    http://tai.org.au/gas-coal-watch

    The Tesla battery (Hornsdale) is making out like a bandit providing emergency relief as the coal plants fall over. Looks like coal is the problem not the solution.

    But then again it is probably called opinion because it contains so few facts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Never mind that there is ample evidence to show and prove that a sugar laden diet definitely has negative affects on the entire body and is the principal causative factor in the very obvious obesity epidemic.
    Any competent doctor and health research scientist can tell you this.
    Robert Lustig has made a comprehensive study of the subject. His obvious findings are detailed in his book The Hacking of the American Mind - The Science Behind The Corporate Takeover Of Our Bodies and Brain.

    You gotta laugh at their new virtue-signalling catch phrase in their attempt to SHUT down any opinions and evidence which challenges the corporate agenda to control every aspect of our human lives. Unfortunately the system of corporate control is now so powerful that almost nothing can be done to stop it - the only thing left is the making of virtue statements.

    There attempts to stifle virtue-signalling is also quite ironic when their "hero" the Infant in Chief who has absolutely ZILCH/ZERO of any of the traditional human virtues, who is going to make Amerika, "Great" (grate) again spends a lot of time every day sending out idiotic tweets, and, to date, has made at least 2000 false public statements.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tang Dynasty poet Wang Wie might have been on Dame Groan's page, when he wrote his fine poem about travelling into the Taklamakan:

    The morning rain of Weicheng dampens the light dust,
    The guest house is green with the colour of fresh willows.
    Let's check your Qin EV300 is fully juiced, my dear sir,
    Out west past the Yangguan, charging stations there'll be none.


    The pathetic part of this is that you can't suggest a big change because "we'll all be rooned", and you can't suggest a small change because its inconsquential. 15 M tons out of 550 isn't much, but 15 M out of a bit under 100 M (Australia's total for transport) is not trivial. And 15 M out of about 48 M from cars sounds quite a lot.

    The argument that many small changes make no difference is the counsel of despair. Your vote doesn't matter, because its 0.001% of the vote in your electorate; it doesn't matter if you litter, because you're only one person; don't bother saving what you can each fortnight, because another piddly $50 is never going to help you get together that deposit for a house.

    Oh, hang on, the last one's true...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love the way you sooled the Tang dynasty on to Dame Groan, FD. What next, a Song dynasty song? The pond's laugh of the day ...

      Delete

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